Wise
Street
TH
TILE - JEWS, I ti
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comment from a '90s perspective.
Cool animation, hysterically ar-
chaic everything else. The plot,
which centers on a mysterious
green ball (the Loc-Nar) that ei-
ther murders or empowers peo-
ple, is typical of the genre, and
the dialogue, which includes the
voice of John Candy, is so insult-
ing to women and humanity in
general that Madonna's success
is finally explained.
Segmented into four loosely
correlated parts, the film illus-
trates the history and influence
of the Loc-Nar over humanity, on
this planet and elsewhere. (Plot-
wise, it's a kind of degenerate ver-
sion of Kubrick's 2001.) Besides
the Loc-Nar, these segments
share only a few things in corn-
mon: gory violence; big-breasted,
naked women; a breed of '80s hu-
mor that makes the paltry
"Who's The Boss?" seem like the
splendid "Seinfeld" in compari-
not to discuss and appreciate
Heavy Metal's "Japanimation."
Columbia Pictures is re-releasing
Heavy Metal, the animated cult-film
classic, which opens tonight in 39 cities
across the continent, including Detroit.
son, and '80s rock. Black Sab-
bath, Blue Oyster Cult, Sammy
Hagar and Journey are just a few
of the big names that grace the
film's soundtrack.
It would be remiss, however,
One thousand artists from 17
countries collaborated to mimic
for the first time in a Western
film the advanced graphic style
pioneered by Japanese anima-
tors. If you haven't seen a Japan-
ese cartoon, Heavy Metal's bright
images and crisp, fluid, digital-
ly remastered graphics will give
you a pleasant headache. Today,
MTV cartoon "Aeon Flux" is only
one of many contemporary tele-
vision shows and films that bear
the distinct mark of Heavy Met-
al's influence.
So, if you loved the '80s, grow
back that mohawk, spray it pink
and green, don your leather and
chains and head off to the the-
ater. The decade we love to hate
is finally making a comeback.
Q*-)
—Dan Zimmerman
:onoftith:
gorgeous bridal -gowns
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rernaotic weddings
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'Down Periscope'
e
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overcome adversity and outwit
the opponent. Hooray. In be-
tween, the viewer is treated to
pratfalls, wisecracks and body-
function jokes.
Movies like this are somewhat
offensive, not because of the
sophomoric humor, but because
the filmgoer is expected to have
amnesia and gobble up this re-
cycled malarkey. It wasn't funny
before; it isn't any funnier after
the repackaging.
And although people like to
guess at what will happen next
in a movie, Hollywood apparent-
ly doesn't understand that we
don't want always to guess cor-
rectly. Down Periscope is wrong,
in part, because the viewer is al-
Kelsey Grammer, Rob Schneider and Lauren Holly try to overcome diversity and
ways right.
outwit the opponent aboard their rusty old submarine.
Over the last decade or so,
Grammer
has banked an enor-
line,
the
common
denominator
Rated PG-13
amongst these "comedies" was mous amount of goodwill as the
bout five minutes into that none of them was funny. You likable, intellectual Frasier Crane
Down Periscope, a creep- can add Down Periscope to that and can afford to make an iso-
lated career mistake. For the
ing sense of deja vu sets in. list.
most part, he manages to
Grammer plays Cap-
Not the type of deja vu
separate himself from
tain
Dodge;
a
career
Navy
that evokes warm feelings of fa-
MOVIES
this stench, like a life-
miliarity, but rather the type that officer seeking command
guard
at a cesspool. But,
of
his
own
submarine.
Ad-
provokes an inquiry of, "Where
miral Winslow offers him such if he makes any more movies like
have I seen this before?"
Starring Kelsey Grammer, you an opportunity, if he can prevail Down Periscope, he can label
want to believe that the story will in a series of war games against himself the next Shelley Long.
hold water, but this subplot has Bruce Dern's nasty Admiral Gra-
.00
■ 2
too many holes. Here's the basic ham. To complicate the chal-
—Richard
Halprin
setup: A ragtag group of misfits, lenge, Dodge is assigned a rusty
old sub and a crew of standard
each with a unique, oddball "tal-
ent," overcome insurmountable Hollywood rejects. Confounding
odds and gain a modicum of re- things further, Dodge learns that
Outstanding
spect for themselves and their his dive officer is an attractive
woman (Lauren Holly) without
leader.
Very Good
This utterly predictable for- any experience beyond the com-
mula was applied to cadets in Po- puter simulator.
Good
Naturally, as the story pro-
lice Academy, ballplayers in
Major League and the military in gresses, the group will draw
Fair
Hot Shots. Aside from the plot strength from its weaknesses,
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