Wise Street TH TILE - JEWS, I ti ti comment from a '90s perspective. Cool animation, hysterically ar- chaic everything else. The plot, which centers on a mysterious green ball (the Loc-Nar) that ei- ther murders or empowers peo- ple, is typical of the genre, and the dialogue, which includes the voice of John Candy, is so insult- ing to women and humanity in general that Madonna's success is finally explained. Segmented into four loosely correlated parts, the film illus- trates the history and influence of the Loc-Nar over humanity, on this planet and elsewhere. (Plot- wise, it's a kind of degenerate ver- sion of Kubrick's 2001.) Besides the Loc-Nar, these segments share only a few things in corn- mon: gory violence; big-breasted, naked women; a breed of '80s hu- mor that makes the paltry "Who's The Boss?" seem like the splendid "Seinfeld" in compari- not to discuss and appreciate Heavy Metal's "Japanimation." Columbia Pictures is re-releasing Heavy Metal, the animated cult-film classic, which opens tonight in 39 cities across the continent, including Detroit. son, and '80s rock. Black Sab- bath, Blue Oyster Cult, Sammy Hagar and Journey are just a few of the big names that grace the film's soundtrack. It would be remiss, however, One thousand artists from 17 countries collaborated to mimic for the first time in a Western film the advanced graphic style pioneered by Japanese anima- tors. If you haven't seen a Japan- ese cartoon, Heavy Metal's bright images and crisp, fluid, digital- ly remastered graphics will give you a pleasant headache. Today, MTV cartoon "Aeon Flux" is only one of many contemporary tele- vision shows and films that bear the distinct mark of Heavy Met- al's influence. So, if you loved the '80s, grow back that mohawk, spray it pink and green, don your leather and chains and head off to the the- ater. The decade we love to hate is finally making a comeback. Q*-) —Dan Zimmerman :onoftith: gorgeous bridal -gowns e ,,rou :1104 cf rre rernaotic weddings 40:0i : v . ,00 ," SOUTHFIELD ■ Arbor Rx WEST BLOOMFIELD 11 Mile & Lahser ■ Arbor Rx ■ Arbor Rx Telegraph & Long Lake Evergreen & 12 Mile ■ Barnes and Noble ■ Borders Book Store Southfield & 13 Mile ■ Efros Rx Greenfield & 10 Mile ■ Majestic Market Lahser & Civic Center ■ Seven-Eleven 'Down Periscope' e here conies t4e Franklin Rd. S. of 12 Mile Orchard Lk. S. of Maple ■ Efros Rx Orchard Lk. & Maple ■ Kroger 14 Mile & Farmington ■ Mapleview Party Store Maple & Farmington ■ Seven-Eleven Orchard Lake & Lone Pine ■ Togos Tel-12 Mall overcome adversity and outwit the opponent. Hooray. In be- tween, the viewer is treated to pratfalls, wisecracks and body- function jokes. Movies like this are somewhat offensive, not because of the sophomoric humor, but because the filmgoer is expected to have amnesia and gobble up this re- cycled malarkey. It wasn't funny before; it isn't any funnier after the repackaging. And although people like to guess at what will happen next in a movie, Hollywood apparent- ly doesn't understand that we don't want always to guess cor- rectly. Down Periscope is wrong, in part, because the viewer is al- Kelsey Grammer, Rob Schneider and Lauren Holly try to overcome diversity and ways right. outwit the opponent aboard their rusty old submarine. Over the last decade or so, Grammer has banked an enor- line, the common denominator Rated PG-13 amongst these "comedies" was mous amount of goodwill as the bout five minutes into that none of them was funny. You likable, intellectual Frasier Crane Down Periscope, a creep- can add Down Periscope to that and can afford to make an iso- lated career mistake. For the ing sense of deja vu sets in. list. most part, he manages to Grammer plays Cap- Not the type of deja vu separate himself from tain Dodge; a career Navy that evokes warm feelings of fa- MOVIES this stench, like a life- miliarity, but rather the type that officer seeking command guard at a cesspool. But, of his own submarine. Ad- provokes an inquiry of, "Where miral Winslow offers him such if he makes any more movies like have I seen this before?" Starring Kelsey Grammer, you an opportunity, if he can prevail Down Periscope, he can label want to believe that the story will in a series of war games against himself the next Shelley Long. hold water, but this subplot has Bruce Dern's nasty Admiral Gra- .00 ■ 2 too many holes. Here's the basic ham. To complicate the chal- —Richard Halprin setup: A ragtag group of misfits, lenge, Dodge is assigned a rusty old sub and a crew of standard each with a unique, oddball "tal- ent," overcome insurmountable Hollywood rejects. Confounding odds and gain a modicum of re- things further, Dodge learns that Outstanding spect for themselves and their his dive officer is an attractive woman (Lauren Holly) without leader. Very Good This utterly predictable for- any experience beyond the com- mula was applied to cadets in Po- puter simulator. Good Naturally, as the story pro- lice Academy, ballplayers in Major League and the military in gresses, the group will draw Fair Hot Shots. Aside from the plot strength from its weaknesses, BIRMINGHAM ■ Barnes & Noble Telegraph & Maple FARMINGTON HILLS ■ Birmingham Rx ■ Rite-Aide ■ Savon Rx Grand River & Drake 1220 Woodward Telegraph & Maple ■ Borders Book Store Orchard Lk. S. of 14 Mile ■ Kroger Perry Rx 12 Mile & Halsted OAK PARK ■ Lincoln Rx ■ Rite-Aide Coolidge & Lincoln 12 Mile & Farmington ■ Oak Park Book Center ■ Rite-Aide Nine Mile & Coolidge 14 Mile & Northwestern ■ Seven-Eleven ■ Warren Rx Lincoln E. of Greenfield Middlebelt & 14 Mile NOVI ■ Borders Book Store ROCHESTER HILLS ■ Barnes & Noble Novi Rd. & 1-96 Rochester Road ■ Doubleday Books ■ Rochester Book Center Twelve Oaks LIVONIA ■ Coopersmith Books Laurel Park Mall Walton Road TROY ■ DoubleDay Books Somerset Mall Bagel Barometer 27676 Franklin Road • Southfield, Mi 48034 • 810-354-6060 • fax 810-354-1210 PUBLISHED BY THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS