No Place
Like Israel
CARL ALPERT SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
T
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DRUNK DRIVING DOESN'T
JUST KILL DRUNK DRIVERS.
Nicholas Esposito. killed Oct. 1.3.
1989 at 8:25pin.
T HE D ET RO I T J•E W
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Next time your friend insists on
driving drunk, do whatever it takes to
stop him. Because if he kills innocent
people, how will you live with yourself?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK.
he trivia of everyday life
can sometimes be more re-
vealing than all the head-
lines about politics,
economics and international re-
lations. Look at Israel:
A Minor Oversight For the
past 30 years, the Histadrut la-
bor federation has been the own-
er of a large shopping center on
the main street of Nahariyah, but
did not know it until a local res-
ident broke his leg in the build-
ing and brought suit against the
registered owner for negligent
maintenance.
Something to Cackle About
At the beginning of the year, the
Jewish population of Israel num-
bered 4.43 million. As of the same
date, it was revealed that there
were no fewer than 7 million lay-
ing hens in the country; roosters
were not included.
The Principal Versus the
Girl Students The controversy
erupted over the wearing of
miniskirts. The girls objected to
the principal's ruling. At the Dvir
School of Hotel Personnel in
Haifa, the director laid down a
regulation that all girl students
must appear at school in
miniskirts — and the girls ob-
jected.
It Could Have Been Arafat
A week after he returned home
from Oslo with his Nobel prize
medallion, Shimon Peres took it
out of its container and inspect-
ed it. To his consternation, he
found the name of Yitzhak Rabin
engraved on the reverse. He
made a quick call to Mr. Rabin,
who had not yet inspected his
medal; and they established that
the two medals had apparently
been switched during the Oslo
ceremony. They made the ex-
change at home.
Rape Is Rape Haifa police re-
sponded promptly to a complaint
drape from a local woman. They
asked for details and the woman
tearfully reported that her dog
had been raped by the male ca-
nine belonging to a neighbor.
He Got the Wrong Picture
When a group of Jewish settlers
mistakenly entered an Arab vil-
lage near Nablus, they were fired
upon. An Israeli cameraman, em-
ployed by an American news
agency, dropped his camera,
rushed to rescue two little girls
who had been wounded and took
them to the hospital. The follow-
ing day he was fired by his em-
ployer for not getting the hot
news picture.
There's a Limit Immediate-
ly following a major terrorist at-
tack on Israelis, the police
ceived a call from an excited cit-
izen who threatened he would kill
every Arab he met. The police-
man on duty tried to calm him
down, but when the caller con-
tinued hysterically that he was
beside himself and was prepared
to beat up his wife, a patrol car
made a quick visit to his house;
and he was taken away for psy-
chiatric observation.
Statistical Proof About a
third of Israelis are smokers, and
two-thirds are non-smokers. That
means, of course, that in the
country's death statistics one-
third are smokers and two-thirds
Israeli life in the
news.
are non-smokers. This proves, ac-
cording to Yosef Lapid, that non-
smoking is twice as dangerous as
smoking.
By Natural Means An ob-
servant woman underwent fer-
tility treatments for years, to no
avail. She suspended all treat-
ment and then, over a year later,
at age 42, she gave birth to a
healthy baby boy. Her husband
explained it was by "natural
means," that is, he intensified his
saying of prayers and doing good
deeds. El
Oil Spill
Sources Found
DANIELLA ASHKENAZY
SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
I
wo students at an Israeli
technological high school,
operated under the aus-
pices of Tel Aviv Universi-
ty's Joseph and Rebecca
Mayerhoff Technical College,
have written a computer program
that may help environmental
agencies pin down the source of
marine oil spills.
The program is designed to au-
tomatically compare the struc-
ture and quality of hydrocarbons
which form a unique molecular
"fingerprint" in ships. The Israel
Institute of Petroleum and En-
ergy plans to test the reliability
of the program in actual marine
spills over the next year.
The idea of such a computer
program — a project carried out
by high school students Adi
Hecht and Tal Dekel — was sug-
gested by Dr. Yosefa Ben-Asher,
head of the chemistry lab at the
Israel Institute of Petroleum and