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know what they'll be serving at
the shiva house?' "
Often it's family members,
though, who pose the greatest
challenges.
One time, Hebrew Memorial's
Rabbi Levin worked patiently
with a family who listed the de-
ceased's children as "Kathryn,
Charles, Margaret and Pinky."
(At times like these, it's best not
to ask too many questions.)
When it came time for keriah,
the traditional rending of a
mourner's garments, Rabbi Levin
searched at length before final-
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he didn't want the funeral held
up just for him — he wanted the
burial to be done properly."
(Halachah requires that a Jewish
corpse be buried within 24 hours.)
So on Sunday morning, Mr.
Techner placed a call to Israel.
Via a speaker phone at Kau man
Chapel, the brother in Israel was
able to hear every word of the fu-
neral.
"He was so grateful," Mr.
Techner says. "It helps people feel
as though they are really there."
Mr. Techner also has used the
phone to link funerals with fam-
ily members in the hospital or
children at distant camps.
"Whenever I offer this, I hear,
`You're a genius,' " he says. "The
fact is, we've got the technology
so we might as well use it."
Like Rabbi Levin, Mr. Techner
has had his share of strange ex-
periences when arranging fu-
nerals.
Once, he found two dimes in
the hand of an elderly man's
corpse. He asked the late gentle-
David Techner
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Breast
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CANCER, '
ly asking, "Where's 'Pinky'?"
"Oh, Pinky is our dog," one of
the — human — children ex-
plained. "But my mother always
regarded him as part of the fam-
ily. ,,
The next day, Rabbi Levin
went to the home only to see
Pinky perched comfortably on
a seat beside Kathryn, Charles
and Margaret. One of the wom-
en explained: "Pinky is sitting shi-
va."
Rabbi Levin and Mr. Bodzin
say it's rare, but on occasion fam-
ily members have yelled at each
other while making funeral ar-
rangements. And both have sat
through cordial meetings, only to
receive a call moments later from
one of the participants, scream-
ing at the top of his lungs: "I'M
GOING TO SUE MY BROTH-
ER THE SECOND SHIVA IS
OVER! HE'S THE REASON MY
FATHER IS DEAD!"
ewish burials for thousands
of years have been modest
and basic. There's a plain
wooden coffin — none
shaped like a condo or a sailboat,
none filled with extravagant
paintings. A eulogy. A moment
for visitors to privately comfort
the family.
But lately these ancient ritu-
als have met up with modernity
— in the form of a telephone.
"We had a call from a man in
Israel whose sister had died on a
Friday afternoon," Ira Kaufman
Chapel's Mr. Techner says. "They
had been very close, and he want-
ed to be here for the funeral. But
he couldn't come because he
wouldn't travel on Shabbat and
411
Robert Bodzin
man's wife if there was signifi-
cance to the coins.
"You didn't touch them, did
you?" she cried.
He had not.
She explained: "My husband
was a salesman on the road a lot,
and I always made sure he had
two dimes for an emergency
phone call." Another time Mr.
Techner heard the brother of the
deceased laughing when he saw
a putter inside the casket.
"He's been putting for 30 years
and never got it right," the man
said. "If he couldn't do it all that
time, I don't think there's much
hope for him now."
One of Mr. Techner's favorite
stories was the result of his of-
fer to baby-sit at the funeral of a
young woman who had died
weeks after giving birth to a
daughter.
The woman's husband was on
his way to the funeral. A sitter
had been scheduled, but couldn't
come at the last minute. Mr.
Techner advised the father, "Just
bring the baby. I'll look after her
myself."
Years later the daughter, now
a teen, approached Mr. Techner