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(Cycle
One) 1
(Circle
One)
12
ADDRESS
CITY
STATE
ZIP
year: '31 2 years: '52 Out of State: '41 enclosed $
ADULT EX. LG. ADULT LARGE, ADULT MED. CHILD LARGE CHILD MED. CHILD SMALL
FRIDAY, AUGUST 23, 1991
Charity Gala
Continued from preceding page
If you are Orthodox, this is
probably not an issue. You
are accustomed to glatt
kosher caterers who produce
appetizer spreads that would
pass for entire dinners in
other circles. But if you're
not, recognize that Judaism
encompasses people of vary-
ing degrees of observance.
Many people who do not
keep strictly kosher still
avoid shellfish and/or. pork.
If you serve bacon-wrapped
hors d'oeuvres, lobster bis-
que, crab meat salad and
roast ham, these people will
starve.
6. Thou shalt number
the tables in order.
I have never been to a lun-
cheon or ball where the table
numbering system made any
sense at all. After years of
study, I've determined that
there is a pattern, but no
logic. Please explain why
odds and evens are on oppo-
site sides of the room, why
adjacent tables never have
sequential numbers, and
why the numbering pro-
gresses in rings out from the
stage (which makes sear-
ching for your table similar
to trying to determine the
age of an oak tree).
7. Thou shalt not block
the view.
Your table arrangements
should make it possible — or
even likely — for people
seated at the same table to
be able to talk to each other.
I am a founding member of
Citizens Against Tall
Centerpieces. The only thing
more annoying than having
plants block your view of
your dining companions is
having plants block your
view of the guest speaker.
8. Thou shalt let people
eat.
Remember that most folks
don't usually wait until 10
p.m. to dine. Have speeches
after the food.
9. Thou shalt muzzle the
band.
WHY AM I SCREAMING?
I am screaming because the
music is too loud. I can't
hear myself think. I can't
hear you think. I can only
hear another 90-decibel ren-
dition of "Feelings," one of
the all-time worst songs.
10. Thou shalt not plan
next year's gala until this
year's gala is over.
The guests are here now.
Relax. You've raised
trillions for charity while
you've helped them avoid be-
ing glittered, lost, blasted
out of their chairs or starved.
If, tonight, you have a great
idea for next year's theme,
keep it to yourself. Don't
mention it, or they'll make
you the chairperson .. .
again. ❑
LETTERS I
Continued from Page 6
tegrity of this critical life
transition. The real issue is
not when we celebrate the bar
mitzvah, but whether or not
we provide the necessary
educational apparatus to at-
tract the continued interest of
the bar and bat mitzvah
graduate on the morning
after.
Truth to tell, their mass ex-
odus from the synagogue and
the Hebrew school is a bitter
indictment of our teaching
methods and modalities.
Rather than lay blame on the
doorstep of the kids or their
parents, we would do well to
look inside ourselves to see
how we might more effective-
ly impart the primary values
and essential doctrine of our
Torah.
If anything, the relative
successes of NCSY, USY and
NFTY with the whole com-
plex of AZA-BBG activity,
clearly demonstrate that the
kids are genuinely interested
in and can be motivated by
things Jewish. The Judaism
package just needs to be
creatively marketed in a fun-
filled, hands-on experiential
framework.
The prescient lesson of the
bar and bat mitzvah is that
the attainment of the age of
maturity (i.e., the magic
numbers, "13" and "12,"
respectively) denotes a new-
found ability to choose a path
of life; a way to go, a way to
be. If we want our kids to
come back to us after their
bar and bat mitzvah "gradua-
tion," we must engage their
senses with an enticing pro-
duct and draw them in, not
because they have to, but
because they want to.
Rabbi Ely J. Rosenzveig
Springfield, Mass.