guaranteed to flummox whatever
shred of certainty you have left about
For instance, we even drew flak from
the renowned purveyors of socially
correct stationery — Tiffany and Com-
pany. A Tiffany rep called to inform
me that because of certain names, our
invitation copy didn't "scan correctly."
The culprits were my fiance's parents.
"You see, they both have the same
number of letters in their names and
it just won't do," he declared in a
voice dripping with disdain.
"Those are their names!" I ex-
"Are you certain?" he asked haugh-
The invitations went to press with-
out his blessing.
Then there was the guest list. Why
is it that people assume their hearty
"best wishes" yelled on the fly should
translate into our sending them an
engraved invitation? Even as I de-
murred about our small wedding,
with only family and closest friends
in attendance, acquaintances would
whisk out their calendars, circle the
date and snap the book shut with a
jaunty, "We'll be there!"
Equally endearing were those sin-
gle guests who accorded their invita-
tion "two-fer" status. In one case,
when subtlety failed to convey the
message that our wedding was not
analogous to a senior prom, we caved
in on our "no guests" rule. (Well, he
was my husband's boss).
Next, I had to tangle with the real
power brokers of any wedding scenar-
io. I interviewed five caterers, nine
florists, seven groups of musicians
and three cake makers during an
agonizing selection process. All were
capable professionals. But compe-
tence wasn't enough: I was searching
for the right chemistry; I wanted to
like my key players. Then the roles
were quickly reversed. I felt like I was
auditioning for them as I cowered in
the wake of those who would happily
take my money on the condition I did
it their way.
One noted floral designer dis-
missed my business on moral
grounds. In a voice quaking with emo-
tion, he said he couldn't possibly do
a wedding without renting Chivari
ballroom chairs — at $6 per guest. I
decided the pleasure of his company
wasn't worth the extra $420.
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The Jewish News 55