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851-0552
TAMAR KAUFMAN
Special to The Jewish News
I
s there life after mastec-
tomy?
Women including Betty
Ford, Shirley Temple Black
and Happy Rockefeller have
answered that question with
a resounding "yes."
But Linda Dackman had
another, more intimate
question: Is there sex after
mastectomy?
Single and 34 years old
when her right breast was
removed, Ms. Dackman had
her survival virtually
assured that Valentine's
Day in 1985. She had only to
deal with the rest of her life.
Fortunately for others fac-
ing the prospect of life as a
"single-breasted woman,"
Ms. Dackman has chronicled
her experiences in Up Front:
Sex and the Post-Mastectomy
Woman, a 114-page hard-
cover book from Viking
Penguin Inc.
In an interview, the
Brooklyn, N.Y.-born author,
who lives in San Francisco,
Calif., disclosed that one out
of 10 women diagnosed with
breast cancer is, like herself,
a Jew of European descent.
Ashkenazi Jews are "in a
slightly higher risk
category," she said. "It's in
'every book that talks about
contributing factors to
cancer."
But she only learned that
after her diagnosis, which
came as a surprise.
"I have two Jewish friends
whose mothers died of breast
cancer and they've been liv-
ing in terror of having it
happen to them," she said.
"Ironically, I didn't have
any family history."
What's more, in her book,
Ms. Dackman notes that she
was "a cliche of contem-
porary fitness" the day she
learned she had cancer.
As a reaction to the news,
"everyone I knew got their
breasts checked," she recall-
ed in the interview. "In a
funny way, I think I saved
my sister's life."
Her sister, who lives in
England, was diagnosed
with breast cancer soon after
Ms. Dackman.
"It's been very odd," Ms.
Dackman reflected. "My
grandmothers were both
Northern California Jewish
Bulletin staff reporter Tamar
Kaufman had a mastectomy
last year. She is still wrestling
with questions of body image.
114
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1990
Linda Dackman:
Chronicled experiences.
long-lived and my mother's
73 and she's fine."
As a Jewish woman in
crisis, Ms. Dackman had
something special in her
corner — community.
"When I was in the
hospital, a nurse came up to
me and said, 'So what's your
story?' " Ms. Dackman
recalled. "Her name is Toby
Edelman and she's active in
theyoung adult group at
Sherith Israel. We
exchanged phone numbers
and she invited me to attend
an event with her."
Ms. Dackman started to
attend on her own and "it
was very emotional for me,"
she said. "I looked at some of
the prayerbooks and they're
like poems for different occa-
sions. There are things
about death or illness, and I
started to realize that what I
was experiencing was uni-
versal and that part of what
religion is designed to do is
take people through these
sorts of transitions in their
lives."
Another thing many Jew-
ish women have in common
is their response to the
disease.
During the five years since
her diagnosis, surgery and
recovery, Ms. Dackman has
worked with women from all
backgrounds through the
American Cancer Society's
Reach to Recovery counsel-
ing program.
"There are some women
who sort of bury themselves
in denial, just do what the
doctor tells them and don't
ask questions," she said.
"Jewish women tend to ask
more questions, to be more
aggressive in seeking an-
swers that are right for
them."
Ms. Dackman fell into that
category, but for her, the an-
swers had not been there.
"There was a presumption
in the (medical) literature
that women with cancer
were old and long married,"
she said, recalling her sear-
ch for information about
sexuality and a drastically
altered body. "The literature
hadn't caught up with the
demographics.
"I was young enough to be
open and honest about sex-
uality and yet suddenly old
enough to have this
disease," she said. "I came
up against this invisible
taboo. I was in shock that at-
titudes were so arcane. And
it angered me."
As someone used to
writing — she is public in-
formation director at a mu-
seum — her response was to
record her own experiences.
That record is frank and
personal, describing the au-
"I was in shock that
attitudes were so
arcane. And it
angered me."
Linda Dackman
thor's first hesitant steps
toward dating and new in-
timacies.
In the book, Ms. Dackman
tells how she covered her
scarred and reconstructed
breasts (her left breast had
to be reduced to match the
silicon-filled right one) with
a camisole and the difficulty
she had revealing herself to
lovers.
The reactions of those
lovers are surprisingly
tender and understanding,
but her own emotions swing
wildly as she deals with the
Twilight Zone reality of
hospitals, fluctuating
chances of survival, a chang-
ing body image and, finally,
other people.
Her confidence in the end
will be an inspiration to
anyone facing life as a
"single-breasted woman." ❑
Correction
The correct telephone
number for those volunteer-
ing to help Paula Smith with
a hayride scheduled for Nov.
10 by Innovative Jewish
Singles is 543-4990. An in-
correct number was publish-
ed in the Oct. 19 Jewish
News.