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CAMTMEWP.S.MOR M.MK Capture your loved one's life story in a oatift•P Personalized poems for all occasions There's no end to my creations birthday celebrations wedding congratulations roast exaggerations advertising communications Susan Weingarden SINGLE LIFE I holiday jubilations anniversary elaborations toast preparations candlelighting recitations 851-0552 TAMAR KAUFMAN Special to The Jewish News I s there life after mastec- tomy? Women including Betty Ford, Shirley Temple Black and Happy Rockefeller have answered that question with a resounding "yes." But Linda Dackman had another, more intimate question: Is there sex after mastectomy? Single and 34 years old when her right breast was removed, Ms. Dackman had her survival virtually assured that Valentine's Day in 1985. She had only to deal with the rest of her life. Fortunately for others fac- ing the prospect of life as a "single-breasted woman," Ms. Dackman has chronicled her experiences in Up Front: Sex and the Post-Mastectomy Woman, a 114-page hard- cover book from Viking Penguin Inc. In an interview, the Brooklyn, N.Y.-born author, who lives in San Francisco, Calif., disclosed that one out of 10 women diagnosed with breast cancer is, like herself, a Jew of European descent. Ashkenazi Jews are "in a slightly higher risk category," she said. "It's in 'every book that talks about contributing factors to cancer." But she only learned that after her diagnosis, which came as a surprise. "I have two Jewish friends whose mothers died of breast cancer and they've been liv- ing in terror of having it happen to them," she said. "Ironically, I didn't have any family history." What's more, in her book, Ms. Dackman notes that she was "a cliche of contem- porary fitness" the day she learned she had cancer. As a reaction to the news, "everyone I knew got their breasts checked," she recall- ed in the interview. "In a funny way, I think I saved my sister's life." Her sister, who lives in England, was diagnosed with breast cancer soon after Ms. Dackman. "It's been very odd," Ms. Dackman reflected. "My grandmothers were both Northern California Jewish Bulletin staff reporter Tamar Kaufman had a mastectomy last year. She is still wrestling with questions of body image. 114 FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1990 Linda Dackman: Chronicled experiences. long-lived and my mother's 73 and she's fine." As a Jewish woman in crisis, Ms. Dackman had something special in her corner — community. "When I was in the hospital, a nurse came up to me and said, 'So what's your story?' " Ms. Dackman recalled. "Her name is Toby Edelman and she's active in theyoung adult group at Sherith Israel. We exchanged phone numbers and she invited me to attend an event with her." Ms. Dackman started to attend on her own and "it was very emotional for me," she said. "I looked at some of the prayerbooks and they're like poems for different occa- sions. There are things about death or illness, and I started to realize that what I was experiencing was uni- versal and that part of what religion is designed to do is take people through these sorts of transitions in their lives." Another thing many Jew- ish women have in common is their response to the disease. During the five years since her diagnosis, surgery and recovery, Ms. Dackman has worked with women from all backgrounds through the American Cancer Society's Reach to Recovery counsel- ing program. "There are some women who sort of bury themselves in denial, just do what the doctor tells them and don't ask questions," she said. "Jewish women tend to ask more questions, to be more aggressive in seeking an- swers that are right for them." Ms. Dackman fell into that category, but for her, the an- swers had not been there. "There was a presumption in the (medical) literature that women with cancer were old and long married," she said, recalling her sear- ch for information about sexuality and a drastically altered body. "The literature hadn't caught up with the demographics. "I was young enough to be open and honest about sex- uality and yet suddenly old enough to have this disease," she said. "I came up against this invisible taboo. I was in shock that at- titudes were so arcane. And it angered me." As someone used to writing — she is public in- formation director at a mu- seum — her response was to record her own experiences. That record is frank and personal, describing the au- "I was in shock that attitudes were so arcane. And it angered me." Linda Dackman thor's first hesitant steps toward dating and new in- timacies. In the book, Ms. Dackman tells how she covered her scarred and reconstructed breasts (her left breast had to be reduced to match the silicon-filled right one) with a camisole and the difficulty she had revealing herself to lovers. The reactions of those lovers are surprisingly tender and understanding, but her own emotions swing wildly as she deals with the Twilight Zone reality of hospitals, fluctuating chances of survival, a chang- ing body image and, finally, other people. Her confidence in the end will be an inspiration to anyone facing life as a "single-breasted woman." ❑ Correction The correct telephone number for those volunteer- ing to help Paula Smith with a hayride scheduled for Nov. 10 by Innovative Jewish Singles is 543-4990. An in- correct number was publish- ed in the Oct. 19 Jewish News.