What Does
Mean
11Chayim asked young adults from
Here are some of
Temple Israel
Adat Shalom Synagogue
Congregation Shaarey Zedek
Confirmation is like restating my
Judaism. It's just as much work if not
more than my bar mitzvah. It's like
putting another deposit into my ac-
count, only the account is my love for
God and Judaism. I can't wait for the
big night!
Darren Garrett, 15
Confirmation is much more than a
ceremony, kiss on the cheek and a
certificate. It is quality time spent with
our leaders and mentors, the rabbis,
to discuss modern Jewish topics. It is
a chance to also get to know the
rabbis in a substantially less formal
setting than services. I have gained
much knowledge, both about life and
religion, as a result of this class.
Donny Feldman, 16
I feel that confirmation is fulfilling my
responsibility as a Jewish adult. Con-
firmation is a very important time in
my life. I've been brought up with
many Jewish morals and values.
Confirmation is a time to let the
morals and values I've learned
throughout my life mature. Confirma-
tion makes me proud to be a Jew.
Lori Gartenberg, 15
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Confirmation means to me that you
commit yourself to your religion. I feel
that carrying on this task is very im-
portant because it shows that you can
take on the responsibility of being a
Jew. That is why I am being confirm-
ed.
Amy Babcock, 14
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Confirmation means many things to
me. First, it signifies a step in the life
cycle, an important milestone. Addi-
tionally, it represents a connection to
a larger Jewish group — the temple
community. Confirmation, most im-
portantly, manifests continued
dedication to Judaism — reaffirming
its presence and importance in daily
life.
Jeffrey Gell, 15
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Confirmation is a chance for all of us
to present our views on important re-
ligious issues. It gives the youth a
chance to be heard.
Julie Citrin, 15
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Confirmation is one of the three most
important Jewish events in a person's
life. The other two are marriage and
bar mitzvah. Being confirmed is a
way for me to show my dedication to
the Jewish faith and continue on the
traditions our religion has taught. It's
a chance to learn and be around
other Jewish people.
Charlie Ornstein, 16
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Being confirmed is important to me. I
hope to be setting a precedent for
future generations in my family to
demonstrate that as busy as you
think you are, you can still sacrifice
time for religion and religious train-
ing. Another thought about being
confirmed is the time spent. While
most of my friends were sleeping ear-
ly Sunday mornings, I was attending
Hebrew school. When I think about
the time consumed, it was worth it. I
learned many things about Judaism
and Jewish interaction in a larger
world, and I now feel more knowl-
edgeable about my heritage and my
future as a Jew. I feel confirmation is
another step into adulthood for me.
When I had my bar mitzvah, I thought
I became a stronger person. Confir-
mation is making an important affect
on my life as my bar mitzvah had
done.
Howard C. Larky, 16
By GAIL BERKOVE
In approaching the task of
teaching values to our children, it is
helpful to look at our personal
history to see where our values
came from and how we acquired
them.
Values may be positive or
negative; they may be absorbed
consciously or unconsciously. It is
probably not so much our parents'
beliefs and attitudes themselves but
how our parents lived their lives that
gave positive or negative meaning
to the values that they transmitted
to us. We look back to our
childhoods to give us an idea about
how we want to be parents. By
making a conscious decision about
56
FRIDAY, MAY 25, 1990
the way in which we want to live our
lives, we hope that we can make
clear to our children what values
are important to us.
Through our memories, we try
to reconstruct situations in our
present families similar to those
which gave us positive feelings so
that our children may acquire the
values we associate with them.
Family rituals that were special to
us come to mind. Fond memories of
family celebrations such as
birthdays, confirmations and
holidays or daily routines around
mealtimes or bedtimes offer
examples that we might like to
perpetuate. On the other hand, we
may also remember negative
situations where we felt in ourselves
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Confirmation is something that I have
looked forward to since my bar mitz-
vah. I found it difficult to consider my-
self a man at the age of 13. Since
then, I looked forward to confirma-
tion, hoping that maybe then I could
truly consider myself a man. Confir-
mation to me has meant learning the
opinions of others of my religion, of
both the medieval rabbis' minds and
my peers." Confirmation to me has
meant looking inside myself for my
own views about my religion and what
role I want it to play in my life. Confir-
mation to me has meant maturing,
meant learning to make decisions
that will outlast my childhood.
Although I may not yet be a man, con-
firmation has been an important step
in becoming one.
Matthew Matasar, 15
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or saw in our parents hurt, pain, or
punishment. Out of those memories
comes the resolution: "I will never
do that to my child."
Thus, in approaching the task of
transmitting our values to our
children, we bring a legacy from our
personal past augmented with
learning and experience from
adulthood. If we come from a past
where we had many positive
experiences and our parents served
as good role models, then it will feel
natural to pass along these things
to our children. But if we do not
have good experience to look back
to, we must decide as adults which
values are important to us and how
we might make them a part of our
family life. We can find these values
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in people we like and respect, who
offer good examples of how we
would like to live. We may find them
through study, or through reflection
on our experiences. However we
discover them, we need to decide to
make them ours and try to live them
ourselves so that we can be models
for our children. By teaching our
children through personal example,
our lessons will become more
believable and, hence, will be more
effective.
Gail Berkove, Ph. D. is a
psychologist in private practice in
Southfield who works with
individuals, and couples, particularly
around parenting and family issues.