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SINGLE LIFE
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PERFORMING ARTS CAMP
Meeting Tells Jewish Leaders
'Ignore Singles At Own Risk'
RON OSTROFF
Editorial Coordinator
ewish federations and
synagogues that ig-
nore single men and
women are endangering the
future of those communities
and the Jewish people, ac-
cording to participants in a
conference examining the
quality of singles' life.
"It's so important to have
Jewish people meet for the
purpose of marriage," said
Mary Fellman, who organiz-
ed the Omaha, Neb., con-
ference last weekend and
publishes The Connector, a
magazine for Jewish singles.
"The effect of all these
young people not getting
married, not having chil-
dren, not getting involved in
the Jewish community and
not giving to charity is going
to have a tremendous im-
pact."
Fellman, a 73-year-old
past president of the Jewish
Federation of Omaha,
organized the conference to
talk about how singles can
meet other Jews in their
communities.
The meeting, which began
Saturday after Shabbat and
ran through Sunday after-
noon, attracted about 30
singles and Jewish profes-
sionals from Missouri, Ten-
nessee, Iowa and Nebraska.
The participants ranged in
age from 24 to 73.
"The atmosphere was a
positive one," said Fellman
of Omaha, which has a Jew-
ish population of about
6,000. "I wasn't going to sit
there and bemoan the prob-
lems of assimilation and
intermarriage and how
we're all alone. We talked
about bettering the singles'
situation."
As a result of the con-
ference, planning has begun
for Match, a four-page na-
tional Jewish singles news-
paper supplement to be
offered to Jewish news-
papers as an insert. It will
contain information about
Jewish singles activities
around the nation, ideas for
singles programming and
articles about how singles
can enhance their lives.
Participants also sug-
gested that singles do more
charity work such as visiting
nursing homes and speaking
to residents. In addition, the
participants concluded that
parties in private homes are
usually more successful than
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FRIDAY, APRIL 6, 1990
Singles feel left out of Jewish activities, said one.
activities such as singles
dances.
"The feeling was that
more people would be in-
volved and go to a function if
you could take away the
stigma of its being a singles
function," said 24-year-old
Ben Wolf of Omaha, the
meeting's youngest partici-
pant. "If people want good
singles programs to take
place, everyone who wants
them has to take an active
role in planning them."
Roxanne Weisman, owner
and president of Premier
Jewish Singles Inc., a travel
organization based in St.
Louis, said those attending
the conference "feel strongly
about perpetuating Jewish
identity and keeping our
young people in the faith."
Weisman, who is married
and has two children who
are still single, said some
people at the Omaha con-
ference "were very
frustrated, almost angry, be-
cause they felt nothing is be-
ing done in an organized
way for singles locally or na-
tionally."
Although those who at-
tended the conference came
from Jewish communities of
varying sizes, they said they
found that the situation for
singles was similar.
"It doesn't make any dif-
ference where you're living
if you're single and Jewish,"
said Francee Altman, a
computer programmer from
Omaha, who is divorced with
three sons. "Whether you
live in Omaha, Neb., New
York or Tel Aviv, we can use
each others' ideas."
But Fellman and others
said Jewish leaders must be
reminded about what it's
like to be single and about
the ways in which unmar-
ried men and women can be
brought back into the main-
stream of the community.
"The Jewish single is sort
of on the fringes of Jewish
society," said Annie Trott, a
social worker for 18 years
with Jewish Family Service
of Memphis. "They want
very much to be incor-
porated into the larger Jew-
Fellman and others
said Jewish
leaders must be
reminded about
what it's like to be
single and how
unmarried men and
women can be
brought back into
the mainstream of
the community.
ish population. But they feel
like the fifth wheel or an
outsider at so many Jewish
activities."
Trott, who is divorced and
Unitarian, operates a sin-
gles registry and does sin-
gles programming in her
community of about 10,000
Jews. She said the proposed
national singles newspaper
supplement will help
educate community leaders
about "what life is like for
the Jewish single. Because
it's not a lot of fun."
For Howard Rubin of Ar-
nolds Park, Iowa, the con-
ference was a chance to
make sure that an orthodox
perspective was included in
any ideas for singles pro-
jects.