OUTLOOK
A PASSION FOR DESCENDANTS
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One of the - basic human driVes
to procreate, to perpetuate the species, to
become, in , a sense, immortal through one's .
detethdants,-Not every one
that. But science and society ave create d
alternatives. Here, in a Jewish conte st,
two.
A BOOK EXCERPT
The
Jewish Way
Of Adoption
As more American Jews are
adopting children—especially
from other races and other
countries—new ceremonies are
being created to welcome them
as Jews.
ANITA DIAMANT
s many as one in six American
couples may have difficulty
conceiving. The medical and
sociological causes of infertil-
ity are being studied and de-
bated in many quarters. But for a variety
of reasons, more and more American Jews
are turning to adoption as a way of in-
cluding children in their families, and of
fulfilling the mitzvah pe'ru ur-vu, be fruit-
ful and multiply.
For many people, adoption is a difficult
choice, a last resort. The decision may even
represent a kind of loss, compared by some
to the pain felt at the death of a loved one;
it means acknowledging that you do not
expect to ever have a child of your own
flesh. Thoughtful adoption professionals
feel that many people need to grieve that
loss before looking ahead to adoption.
The process of adopting begins with
questions and paperwork. Then there is the
long wait. International or domestic?
Through an agency or privately? Infant or
older child? Fortunately, you do not have
to make these decisions alone. There is a
large and growing network of people who
have been there before you and can guide
and comfort you through the process.
Adoption is no longer a rarity in the
Jewish world, nor is it a shame or stigma
best kept secret from the child and the
community. The emerging Jewish view of
adoption is best put by Rabbi Daniel
Shevitz, the father of two adopted sons:
"As long as there are children in need of
homes, and loving homes in need of
children, adoption should be encouraged as
an 'actt of piety and love."
And as any adoptive parent can tell you,
there is no difference between naches (the
special joy children give their parents) from
adopted children and naches from
biological children.
The most famous "adoptee" in Jewish
tradition is Moses, who was raised by
Pharaoh's daughter and turned out very
well indeed. But neither biblical nor rab-
binic Judaism provide much guidance for
modern couples considering adoption.
The Jewish law on adoption is sketchy,
lacking any mention of specific rules or
legal procedures. Still, the rabbis looked
kindly on the actions of Pharaoh's
daughter and it has always been con-
sidered a mitzvah to take orphaned
children into one's home. And despite
Jewish law's recognition of certain im-
mutable ties to birth parents, foster or
adoptive parents assumed all the burdens
and the rewards of parenthood. Hence the
saying, those who raise a child are called
its parents, and not the ones who con-
ceived it.
What little halachah there is on the sub-
ject of adoption relates to Jewish orphans,
who were most likely to require assistance
A
from the Jewish community. Today,
however, the release of Jewish children is
extremely rare, so American jews are far
more concerned with practices relating to
the adoption of non-Jewish children.
Becoming Jewish
According to Jewish law, a baby born of
a non-Jewish mother is not considered
Jewish and must be converted by mikvah
(ritual immersion) for both girls and boys,
and brit milah (circumcision) for boys. Both
acts require the presence of a bet din, a rab-
binical court of three. (The Reform and
Reconstructionist movements, however,
recognize as Jews children with one Jewish
parent—father or mother—who are then
given a Jewish home and education.)
An uncircumcised adopted male
newborn may be giVen a brit milah on the
eighth day after birth, or as soon as possi-
ble thereafter, in the presence of a bet din,
one of whom is generally the mohel. For
the baby adopted at four months or older,
it is common to have the procedure done
in a hospital, with anesthetic and the
supervision of a physician. In such cases,
both a pediatrician and a mohel are
consulted.
If the child was circumcised as an infant
without religious ceremony, a ritual called
hatafat dam brit, is performed. Here, the
mohel draws a drop of blood from the site
of the circumcision. This ceremony is easi-
ly done in the home or synagogue,
regardless of the child's age.
Mikvah- is required of all converts to
Judaism, male and female, adults and
children of all ages. Immersion in a mikvah
is a form of renewal and rebirth. The water
of the ritual bath recalls the mystical
source of all water and thus all life—the
river whose source is Eden. The mayim
hayyim, or living water, of mikvah also
represents the physical source of human
life, the waters of the womb.
• Immersion must be total, as it was in the
womb. Nothing may be interposed between
the body and the water, so the naked child
is held loosely and lowered into the water.
One of the child's new parents or a relative
or friend thus "births" the baby as a Jew.
If you live in a temperate climate or if
the adoption of your child occurs during
the summer, it is perfectly kosher to do
mikvah in any body of mayim hayyim, liv-
ing or running water. Ponds, lakes, rivers,
and seas are natural mikvaot. For many,
natural bodies of water provide a more
spiritually satisfying experience than an
indoor bath; however, weather, family
custom or rabbinical preference may
discourage this option.
Your rabbi will convene a bet din, a court
of three observant individuals or rabbis, to
witness the 'immersion. When the child is