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Self-Test Determines
Are You Your Best Friend
FRANCES GOULART
Special to The Jewish News
4
W by is it so hard to
be your own best
friend? If being a
mutual admiration society for
yourself doesn't come easy,
it's probably because you've
been putting yourself last so
long that you've lowered your
self-esteem and self-respect,
says the director of the
Philadelphia Wives Self-Help
Foundation.
Not liking what you see in
the mirror is a low on self-love
tipoff, too, says Nina Sue
Koch, assistant professor of
health and physical educa-
tion, Hunter College, New
York City. In a survey of more
than 2,000 men and women
nationwide, Koch points out,
women who exercised
regularly (anything from
walking to serious gardening)
had more positive feelings
about themselves. "Each
ounce of improvement means
one more reason to feel good
about both you and your
body," says Koch.
Is self-love what makes
your world go round? The
following test measures the
extent to which you accept
yourself. On a separate sheet
of paper, for each statement,
indicate how true it is using
the folowing scale: 1=Not at
all true; 2=Somewhat true;
3= About half true; 4=Mostly
true; 5=True.
1. I wish there was someone
who would tell me how to
solve my personal problems.
2. I don't question my worth
as a person, even if I think
others do.
3. When anyone says nice
things about me, I find it hard
to believe. I think they just
aren't being sincere.
4. When anyone criticizes
me, I feel like crying or
hiding.
5. I don't talk much at par-
ties. I'm afraid people will
criticize me or laugh at me if
I say the wrong thing.
6. I'm not living very effec-
tively, but I doubt I've got
what it takes to do it better.
7. I like my looks the way
they are.
8. Someting inside me just
won't let me be satisfied with
any job I've done - if it turns
out well, I get a very smug
feeling that the job was easy
or that I shouldn't be
satisfied.
9. I feel different from
others and I think
men/women find me physical-
ly unattractive.
10. If people I like find out
what I'm really like they'll be
disappointed in me.
11. I'm bothered by feeings
of inferiority a lot.
12. I don't like the way I
look undressed.
13. I'm shy and self-
conscious in social situations.
14. In order to get along
and be liked, I tend to do
what people expect.
15. I have inner strength
and self-confidence in handl-
ing life. I think I'm on solid
ground.
16. I feel self-conscious
when I'm with people who
have better jobs or a better
education.
17. I often feel I'm hopeless-
ly neurotic.
18. It's hard to make new
friends. I'm so afraid they
won't like me.
19. I feel that I'm a person
of worth and anyone's equal.
20. I can't help feeling guil-
ty about the way I feel or act
towards certain people in my
life.
21. I'm not afraid of
strangers. I like myself so
why shouldn't they?
22. I only believe in myself
about half of the time.
23. I'm sensitive to things
people say because it sounds
as though they're criticizing
or insulting me.
24. I think I have ability
and others say so, but maybe
I'm exaggerating.
25. I'm confident I can do
something about my problem
that comes up in the future.
26. Sometimes I put on a
show to impress others. Then
I feel ashamed that I'm not
the person I pretend to be.
27. I don't condemn myself
if other people criticize me.
That's life.
28. I don't feel very "nor-
mal" even though I want to.
29. I should lose 10 pounds.
Clothes never look right on
me.
30. I try to avoid facing a lot
of my problems and that
makes me hate myself.
31. If I were really to be
myself all the time, I doubt I'd
have any friends.
32. I think I'm on the same
level with others. That helps
me establish good relations
with them.
33. People treat me dif-
ferently than they treat
others.
34. I live too much by other
peoples' standards.
35. When I have to make a
speech, I feel self-conscious
and I know I'll be a terrible
disappointment.
36. If I didn't have worse
luck than most people, I'd ac-
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