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March 25, 1988 - Image 118

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1988-03-25

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

SINGLE LIFE I

Greenwich Good Time

Continued from preceding page

CORSICA

164
CAMARO SPORT COUPE

$

*Lease pymt. based on approved credit on 48 mos. closed end,
60,000 total mileage w/60 per mile extra charge. To get total
amt multiply pymt. times 48. Subject to 4% use tasi., 1st mo. in
advance, sec. dept. equal to 1st mo. pymt., plate cost extra.

348-7000

HOURS:
Moro & Thu.
'til 9:00
Tu., Wed., Fri.
'til 6:00

42355 GRAND RIVER! MARLA FELDMAN

Just East of Novi Rd., Novi

LEASING MANAGER

thought, well, he's kind and
good natured. He seemed to
like my son, so we started go-
ing out together. It's early
days yet, but I get the feeling
that he wants to settle down.
I still have my lovely home
and it seems such a waste for
me to stay there on my own,
so I guess this is the corn-
promise I will make."
Personal columns — Lonely
Hearts — in the Jewish press
continue to proliferate, but
data on results is hard to
come by. One woman in her
40s answered an ad by a man
who described himself as
mid-40s, tall, refined, attrac-
tive and solvent. "Maybe
that's how he sees himself,'
says the woman.
When she met him he
was near 60, fat, offensively
stained, living in one room
and working as a salesman
for his brother-in-law. "Prob-
ably I expected too much, but
it put me off answering any
more ads!'
Lonely Hearts columns are
said to be carefully screened
to eliminate sensation seek-
ers or jokers. Another man,
who did find romance
through these columns, says
that they simply checked that
his phone number was the
right one.
Shadchans (matchmakers)
have always played their part
in the Jewish community,
though at one time this was
strictly for the Orthodox.
Now, with so many lonely
men and women, it is no
longer seen to be something
to be disparaging about to
seek a partner through a
marriage bureau because, as
one man put it: "We are both
there for the same reason!'
Sometimes it works.
The Hedi Fisher Marriage
Bureau has been in existence
in London for many years,
and its director claims a 60
percent success rate in all age
ranges. Mrs. Fisher's charges
are 135 pounds ($202.50 U.S.)
for a year and for that she will
arrange anything from six to
25 introductions.
"My criteria is to match
people with the same social
background, education, phys-
ical compatibility and in-
terests. Now, in the late
1980s!" says Mrs. Fisher,
"marriage or long-term rela-
tionships bound because of
the AIDS crisis, but even so,
romance has come back. Peo-
ple want to marry for love,
though it is not always so

Frances Ullman is a free-lance
journalist writing for many
newspapers and magazines and
is a regular contributor to the
London Vewish Chronicle."

easy to fall in love when you
are 45!'
Maxine Martin is a multi-
lingual secretary who has
worked all over Europe with
international organizations.
She is 44 and has never been
married. "My life has been
very interesting: I spent time
in Italy, Germany and Swit-
zerland and through my work
always had friends of both
sexes. But I knew when I
came back to settle in Eng-
land that I had to do some-
thing constructive about my
future. At my time of life hav-
ing children was out, so com-
panionship seemed the in-
trinsic quality I was seeking.
I went to all sorts of social
gatherings within the strata
of my non-Orthodox back-
ground, synagogue discus-
sions and dances where, 20
years ago it had been easier

The director of one
marriage bureau
claims a 60
percent success
rate in all age
ranges.

to meet people. But I found
that the types who went to
those events seemed to be
misfits and that depressed
me. I thought to myself: Sure-
ly there must be people of my
age still around and looking
for friendship, but where were
they?"
Maxine decided she had
nothing to lose by going to
a marriage bureau. "I had
to steel myself because it
takes a certain amount of
courage actually to go for
the first interview. But I now
realize it was the best thing
I could have done," she re-
members. "Within a week I
had my first date, and then
several more. Sometimes the
chemistry wasn't right, but it
was interesting to meet dif-
ferent men at different levels,
and some of these friendships
have remained. Then, about a
year ago I did meet someone
special, and we have been a
twosome ever since. Though
we're not living together, it's
well on the cards that we
will marry later this year.
So for us, the marriage bu-
reau worked.'
Organized house parties for
singles have caught on in re-
cent years, and these attract
the more affluent and dis-
cerning single. One or two
women arrange a dinner par-
ty for about 10; the menu will
be Cordon Bleu or kosher,
depending on their orienta-
tion. The party is not adver-
tised and details are passed
by word of mouth. The cost to
attend is as high as it would

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