--, and so they usually offered half of his
original price "as a joke." Perhaps a
- shopkeeper would flirt with a woman
, customer, proposing a discount for her
pretty eyes. The Arab customer would
? I praise the merchandise but note that the
wonderful carpet or leatherwork had been
on sale elsewhere for far less. The pur-
chaser would add, however, that he dearly
wanted to buy from this shopkeeper, not
his competitors, since he was such a fine
man with a kind and honest face. "He
begged the merchant to enable him to ac-
quire these excellent goods at this most ex-
cellent shop by lowering his price," Caplan
observed. "In response to further pressure
from the seller, the customer might express
the liveliest appreciation for the goods
while explaining, with suitable embellish-
ments, his regret that his own limited
2 means at the moment prevented his pay-
ing as much as he would otherwise like in
i.,
order to oblige the merchant." The shop-
keeper would give a "special price". because
he liked the customer so much, and "the
transaction thus ended with mutual com-
pliments."
Caplan found quite different dynamics
when Jewish customers were involved.
. Where Arab buyers considered it anath-
ema to express disdain for the merchan-
dise, insult the merchant, or dispute the
fanciful stories that he spun to justify his
high price, those were precisely the steps
urged by many Western Jews on one
\> another ' and even promoted as official ad-
vice in a pamphlet by the Israeli Ministry
/--- of lburism. The recommended method, and
) one I saw practiced by many visitors to the
Old City, had the customer assuming that
the merchant was an unscrupulous rogue
determined to cheat. The purchaser was
encouraged to catch the shopkeeper in his
fraudulent claims, make disparaging
remarks about his products, and walk off
) in a superior gesture of contempt, hoping
to. be called back with a lower price. There
> was little appreciation of the fact that the
merchant never imagined that anyone
would believe his tales, little understanding
of the etiquette, humor, and gamesman-
ship involved. A sale would probably be
made, but with it came bruised feelings,
quite the opposite of the good sense of
mutual benefit that dominated the com-
plimentary negotiating between Arabs.
The other field of abrasive contact, the
bureaucratic encounter, has pitched the
Arabs' sense of honor and class con-
sciousness against the Israeli Jews' egal-
itarianism, creating a clash of values. After
1967, when members of the Arab com-
munity's power structure in • East Jeru-
1
salem and the West Bank were suddenly
subjected to Israeli government agencies,
they were deeply offended by being forced
to wait in lines or outer offices for hours
with the common Arabs of the lower and
working classes. They were also insulted by
being strip-searched as they crossed the
Allenby Bridge from Jordan into the West
Bank, and especially by the Israeli require-
`Much of the everyday
friction at the points of
Arab-Jewish contact is
cultural, a conflict of East
and West, a bad
chemistry of mixed styles.
ment that they dump their shoes in the
same pile with those of lower standing. All
this was a bitter affront to their dignity.
Members of the local aristocracy were ac-
customed to priority handling, to a favor-
itism and bias that came from their social
status and their personal connections with
the sources of official power. Their at-
tempts to establish such ties with the new
official structure did not work. And while
the Israeli bureaucrats initially acted out
of the simple instinct of treating everyone
equally and enlightening Arabs with this
value, some of them—especially police in-
vestigators and military commanders on
the West Bank—quickly tuned in on the
Arab devotion to honor and began to use
humiliation as a weapon. Thus, Israeli of-
ficials developed the practice of summon-
ing a leading Arab nationalist or a member
of a prominent local family to local military
headquarters at eight o'clock the following
morning, only to make him wait in a crowd-
ed anteroom for three or four hours with
swarms of common workers, just to whit-
tle him down to size. More often, the result
was corrosive bitterness and resentment.
Cultural misunderstandings figure so
prominently in Arab-Jewish tensions that
Israelis organizing school and home visits
among Arab and Jewish youngsters have
drawn up a list of guidelines for each:
Modes of Behavior in an Arab House
1. Preparations
Try to dress in a proper and respectable
way. It's not acceptable to wear shorts or
revealing clothes. It would be nice to bring
a small present to show consideration.
Bring sweets to Muslims and Druse. To
Christians it's also possible to bring wine.
2. Entrance and Sitting
At the entrance of the host's house, put
out your hand to shake hands. The host-
ess, if she is traditional, doesn't shake
hands. Sit in the place you have been given
by the host, and don't move to another
place. An upright style of sitting which is
uncomfortable to you is preferable to a
negligent way of sitting which may express
a lack of respect for your hosts. Don't sit
with your legs apart and don't sit in such
a way that your host 'can see your soles. If
you came as a couple, refrain from sitting
too close together and from outward
displays of affection like caressing and
hugging.
3. The Conversation
The host initiates the conversation and
not you. He may say many times Ahlan
w a- sablan (Welcome) and every time
answer him Bikurn (A blessing on you too).
Don't press him. and don't start up with
questions before he opens the conversa-
tion.
In the course of the conversation you will
hear new and interesting things and may
even be asked your opinion. Refrain from
such expressions as 'Wrong" and "You
don't understand," even when you express
a disagreeing opinion. My to listen and
understand and in the end you'll be able
to say, "Like us, but..." Start with the com-
monalities and only after that pass on to
the differences.
Remember that older people express
their opinions before the young, and no
matter what, don't interrupt anyone. Let
people express their opinions right to
the end.
4. The Meal
The conversation will continue until
you're invited to the meal. Don't go first
to the dining room. Let the older people
lead the way. If you're not told where to sit,
sit in the center—you're the guest. When
the food has been brought out and it's
tasty, it's important to praise the hostess.
The girls can find the hostess in the food-
preparing room, even if she doesn't par-
ticipate in the meal. The hosts' happiness
will grow if you ask for more. Sometimes,
only the guests receive fork and knife while
the residents take their food with their
hands. You will show your appreciation for
your host if you, too, eat like them.
If you need the bathroom, ask the host.
The girls should ask the hostess. After you
ask, wait until they show you the way. The
hosts will not be satisfied with simply giv-
ing directions.
5. Goodbyes
When coffee has been brought the visit
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