42 Friday, March 8, 1985
PURIM
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
—
0
Camel Lot
Camel Local 421 walked off
the job in the Sahara this week
complaining of poor working
conditions. "We go for days
without food and water" com-
plained one of the strikers. A
representative for management,
however, was confident that the
present negotiations would
quickly resolve the camels'
grievances stating, "We are
almost over the hump."
r
Sending Knesset through the woof.
Rin Tin Tehiya
Best fishes from the Veep.
Where's The Fish?
Vice President George Bush
gave a demonstration in "Voo-
doo Cooking" at the White
House yesterday, vowing he
could "do to the economy what
I've done to this fish — cut off
the excess." Bush later denied
that he had told reporters be-
fore the demonstration he was
going to "kick a little fish."
Camels on strike.
Knesset Seeks
To Define 'Jerk'
Jerusalem — The Knesset
was embroiled in yet another
nasty ard potentially explosive
debate this week as it sought to
define the controversial ques-
tion: Who Is A Jerk.
While many extremists in Is-
rael feel it is essential that the
issue be resolved once and for
all, millions of Diaspora Jews
are fearful of the consequences
and have threatened to c••t off
research funding for kosher
cheeseburgers unless the issue
is dropped.
Orthodox rabbis maintain
that a jerk, according to tradi-
tion, is the offspring of a schle-
miel and schlemazel; Conserva-
tive and Reform Jews are seek-
ing to re-define the word to in-
Jerusalem — Israel's newest
Knesset member said this week
that he is ready to negotiate for
peace with the Palestinians,
provided certain conditions are
met.
"If they would just toss me a
bone," MK Chaim Benjamin
said diplomatically, "I would be
more than willing to come to the
table." Benjamin, who answers
to the nickname "Benji" and
was chosen last month in a spe-
cial election to replace retiring
Tehiya Party MK Geula Cohen.
In an exclusive interview with
The Jewish News, Benji said
that while he would not go "beg-
ging" the Arabs for peace, "if
they scratch our fleas, we should
be willing to scratch theirs." A
staunch believer in the art of
compromise, the new MK feels
it's time for Israel and her long-
time enemies to make amends.
"It seems like it has been a
dog's age since anything posi-
tive came out of the Middle
East," Benji said.
The newest MK has a solid
background in politics, serving
a dozen years on a special
"watchdog committee" headed
up by former Israeli President
Yitzhak Navon. Before that, he
worked for MK Pinhas Gold-
stein, who has said that the new
MK is his "best friend."
Benji was at the center of a
controversy two summers ago,
when he told a Jerusalem Post
reporter "(Menaham) Begin
must have been in heat when he
ordered the Lebanon invasion."
See-No Evil,
Kemosabee
Eyebrow Raising
Implants
Former Israeli Defense Min-
ister Moshe Arens rehearses his
role as "Tantee" in the forth-
coming film, "See No Evil
Kemosabee."
In the film, Arens protrays
Surgeons at the Humana In-
stitute labored for hours last
week to equip this man with ar-
tificial eyebrows. The greatest
obstacle they has to overcome
during the operation, doctors
said, was the patient's tenden-
cy to reject the implants. Final-
ly, they hit on the idea of tak-
ing their subject by surprise
and attaching the hair when he
wasn't looking. While the sur-
gery was a success, physicians
say that they won't know for
another year whether their pa-
tient will ever walk again.
Knesset members stand for 'jerk' roll-call vote.
dude the children of modern-
day nerds.
Government officials, fearful
of a divisive vote that may top-
ple the always-fragile coalition,
High Tech Come
To Poland
are desperately seeking a com-
promise. One ingenius proposal
was to avoid a definition alto-
gether and simply state: "Jerk:
See Meir Kahane."
In Search Of
The latest in British heavy
machinery arrived this week in
Warsaw, and industry experts
immediately assumed that it
was the grapefruit squeezer
they has ordered from Har-
rod's. A general mobilization
order was issued and for several
hours the city teemed with re-
sidents rushing into the streets
to roll their fruit into the path
of the machine. The gutters ran
yellow for hours.
tr
Fruit masher in action.
Leonard Nimoy, host of TV's
popular "In Search Of" pro-
gram, was in Detroit this week
seeking the perfect haman-
taschen.
Nimoy, who prefers the cook-
ie dough confection over the
cake dough treat, visited Mertz's,
Zeman's, Star, Modern and the
Miami Bake Shoppes.
After tasting nearly a dozen
of the high calorie treats, Nim-
oy exclaimed, "Sure these are
great, but nothing like Chekov
used to bring to the bridge of
the Enterprise.
4 6 0
A
td
Arens views acting role.
the faithful Indian guide who
joins the Loan Arranger in a
crusade to seek out unpaid
pledges to the Detroit Allied
Jewish Campaign.
Eyebrow patient recuperating.