THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

34 Friday, August 24, 1919

ZOA Hears Dole

The Best of Everything

(Continued from Page 33)
dogs simmering merrily on
the stove; 6 oz. frozen
dinners melting down to
$2.50 worth of thinning
nourishment before our

wondering noses and water-
ing eyes.
Eat, you WILL enjoy!
Buy! Benefit! Believe! Feel
Best!
After an hour and 15
minutes of Miss Dr. F.'s
associate's pitches on
counseling and checking
the inventory at the gen-
eral store, my last 15
minutes were truly an
anti-climax. First, two

vuluily!Ir

DIMMER THEATRE

ORIGINAL dinner emelt&

Avreck

presents

ummy laance's

' r

• Air

VINCENZO'S

S ' J O

Italian-American Cuisine

Reservations a MUST

. 18211 JOHN R

643-8865

Bet. 6 & 7 Mile Rds.

Pads:
Fri.& Sot

869-5674

Featuring

STEAKS
PRIME RIB
SEAFOOD

o

BANQUET FACILITIES AVAILABLE

Up To 80 People

• Hors d' Oeuvres Parties
• Reunions
• Anniversaries
• Etc.

• Weddings
• Sweet 16's
• Sales Meetings

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SUNDAYS' -

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•

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I

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(Near the
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624-6660

it

FAMILY TAVER

Ntitilthortmodralitcring Platt

* .. * * * * * * * * * * * **** * *****

yt

HOME MADE
CORNED BEEF
HASH
$ 45
INCLUDES: SOUP, SALAD &

*
*
* COFFEE
OR TEA
1

*

*

ONE WEEK ONLY

ROSE and
IRVING GUTTMAN

My questionnaire (he
hadn't had time to read it!)
How about my job of visiting
restaurants?
(Rough rocks — what I do
with my life style is my
problem — apparently so is
my loss of credibility and in-
come.)
Eyes, ears, nose, throat,
reflexes, poke the liver,
punch the stomach (pur-
posely tensed), stethescope
front and back, feel the ank-
les (through the socks), fill
in my diet sheet and an
order for minor tests and
out. No hello, no goodbye, no
questions, no answers, no
interest, no style, and bad
grammar to boot!
Then a 'nurse' entered to
plunge %cc (that's about a
rain drop) of B-12 in my
right rump, explains that
she doesn't know what dos- "
age that represents but will
find out (500 mg. is the an-
swer — if measured accu-
rately, which is quite dif-
ficult for that miniscule
amount) and directs me to
the technician who will take
a blood sample.
Unfortunately, the
technician is about 16
years old, can't find a
vein in my arm and gets a
bit faint after a few blind
probes that produce
nothing but a bruise —
and a testy suggestion
from me that I'd be happy
to let her use my foot as a
dart board. She goes for
the Amyl-Nitrate for her-
self (not for me) and jots

out an order for a com-
prehensive blood test at a
nearby 'friend's' lab.
Back I go to the general
store where four separate
times I am asked to buy and
refuse the Feel Best prod-
ucts. Then and only then do
I receive my two packets of
`protein stimulant: — one
orange flavored — one chic-
ken (no weight, no ingre-
dients listed, and no nota-
tion on my diet chart — no
problem — the receptionist
fills in that part of my chart
— explaining the notations
are the same for all
patients) — plus — printed
instructions for use: 'empty
into cup, add water, stir.'
Plus my appetite de-
pressant pills, one per day
(legally required restrictive
labeling omitted); plus my
mineral supplements, three
per day (ingredients only
partially specified in
layman's terms); plus my
vitamins (one per day — no
ingredients specified).
On driving home it oc-
curred to me that the Feel-
best operation has to be
grossing about $1.5 million
a year (half profit) and that
this guy is spending about
two-four hours a week with
his patients. Pretty smart
for a thin man. Well, this
potentially thin man has a
few smarts too.
So Danny, here's the
way I size it up. If I go all
the way with good Dr. F.,
I'm in for about six
months of this nonsense
and out about $800 (in-
cluding hot dogs, but
without counseling).
Now, if I stick with my old
doctor plus my new
friend 'Max' the pharmacist
I'll get the same results for
about $100 (no nonsense, no

SHARREY ZEDEK'S
junior congregation (United
Synagogue Youth) will go to
Cedar Point Thursday,
leaving 7:30 a.m. from the

synagogue. Students in
grades nine-12 are invited.
There is a charge. For in-
formation, call Allan Oster,
642-5856.

minutes with the doctor
— alone — down to my
drawers, socks, and
penny loafers. My goal?
To get under 200 pounds!
— My alloted calories? —
750 per day (minimum
one hot dog)!

I Youth News

*

*

Akiva Seniors Will Take
Their Senior Year in Israel

6 a.m. - 9:30 p.m.
Tues. thru Sun.

*
*

To See Why

NEW YORK — Opera
star Roberta. Peters will be
named honorary chairman
of American Mizrachi
Women's "Mother-in-
Israel" program to support
school children in AMW
schools in Israel.
Miss Peters will accept
the position during the
AMW convention in New
York, Sept. 9-11.

MOVIE
GUIDE

BERKLEY THEATRE

A NANCY

ae

3E1

DINNER THEATRE

NuNry

presents

0
17.

4F

2 09Pt-

27167
GREENFIELD

*

1 Blk. N. of 11 Mile

DAILY SPECIALS
LUNCH & DINNER
* * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * *

559-1380

* *

Akiva Hebrew Day School students who will
spend their senior year in Israel are seated, from left,
Edie Katz, Jay Jubas and Rachel Flatt. Standing,
from left, are: Annette Ryba, Sheryl Zuroff, Zoe Levin,
Rochelle Ginsburg and Cheryl Snow. The girls will
spend the year at Machon Gold and Jubas will study
at Bais Midrash Latorah Yeshiva. Both institutions
are in Jerusalem.

r)

•

Starring

NANCY GURWIN

OPENS Sept. 14

0
PERFS. FRI. & SAT.
0
ac PLUS SUN. BRUNCH GROUPS

FOR RESERVATIONS, GROUP
OR FUND-RAISING INFORM.

0

869-3988

.

ADNVN V

THE " IN

PERFECT
BLEND

In The Heritage Bldg.

NORTHWESTERN AT EVERGREEN

NOW AVAILABLE FOR
PRIVATE PARTIES
SATURDAYS TIL 6 p.m.
SUNDAYS TIL 2-a.m.

UP TO 150

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• All Occasions

ASK FOR TED

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BET. LONG LAKE
& LONE PINE

851-5540

MON.-THURS.

All Seats $1.00

11 a.m. to 11 p.m.
FRI. & SAT.
11 a.m. to 12 Mid.
SUN. & HOLIDAYS,
12 noon to 11 p.m.

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LUNCHEON SPECIALS

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AVAILABLE

Also . . . Chicken — Shrimp — Fish — Pizza

p e

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EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT
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Sun. 2:10, 4, 5:50, 7:35 & 9:25

* We Are #1

•

CINCINNATI — The
American Jewish Archives
is seeking letters and other
papers of Isaac Mayer Wise,
one of the founders of Re-
form Judaism.
Persons who have origi-
nal items or copies that they
can lend for duplication
should write Doris C. Stur-
zenberger, Project Coor-
dinator, American Jewish
Archives, 3101 Clifton Ave.,
Cincinnati, Ohio 45220.

at all times
Kirk Douglas &
Ann Margaret in

OPEN

Invite You

*

Archives Seeks
Wise Papers
for Duplication

2990 W. 12 Mile Rd.
LI 2-0330
Berkley

AUG. 24 THRU AUG. 31

NOW

hot dogs, no counseling).
With the remaining $700
I can buy a 3-speed adult
tricycle with an enormous
rear-mounted shopping
basket (big enough for four
bottles of booze, ice, a six-
months supply of good-old-
fashioned kosher all-meat
hot dogs and enough extra
picnic supplies to keep up
my energy while I peddle to
see 'Bill' and `Max').
Nobody in their right
mind would steal the bike
and it will embarrass
Mary enough so that all I
have to do is threaten to
use it in order to get her
off my fat back for a
week.
There will be enough cash
left over for two long-
luscious weekends in To-
ronto toasting Dr. F. and all
the little extras he's enabled
me to add to my dieting
period.
Enjoy, I'll keep you
posted."

NEW YORK — Senator
Robert Dole of Kansas, a
candidate for the Republi-
can nomination for the
Presidency, will be the
keynote speaker Sept. 1 at
the opening session of the
national executive commit-
tee meeting of the Z OA.

CARRY-OUT & CATERING FOP
ALL OCCASIONS
DELIVERY

RIB SHACK

the place for ribs

24545 W. 12 MILE Just W. of Telegraph

nrr

333-04U