Friday, April 4, 1947
DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE and The Legal Chronicle
Page Ten
The Jew Laughs:
More Witty Quips
(Continued from page 8)
drink the spirits come in contact
with one another and the balance
is disturbed. Hence the person
becomes drunk."
"Why then," asked the pupil,
"doesn't one become drunk on fill-
ing the belly with water?"
"Simpleton!" retorted the teach-
er, "How in the world can one
become drunk from plain water?"
_0_
A pupil asked the melamed what
makes rain. It was explained:
"The clouds are like sponges; they
go down and absorb water from
the ocean and when they rise
again the wind shakes them and
knocks them together and presses
the water out of them, and it
comes down as rain."
"How do you know it is so?"
asked the pupil. "Fool," cried
the melamed, "don't you see the
rain coming down?"
Farley Mails Passover Food to DP's
01.5'
asked the tailor to be sure and
have it ready before next Saturday.
The Capote, as usual, was not
ready in time. When the tailor
delivered the garment, the Rabbi
admonished him:
"See the difference between you
and God. He, blessed be his
name, created a whole world in
six days, and you couldn't make
even one garment in this time."
"That is just what I say," re-
plied the tailor, "God created the
world in a hurry, in six days,
and look at it, it is all wrong; I
on the other hand, took my time
and look at the Capote, it's per-
fect."
—o—
Passover Greetings
ZIONIST ANECDOTES
mog,
CIIAIM WEIZMANN and Prof.
Albert Einstein were fellow travel-
ers on a boat sailing for America.
On arriving at New York, Weiz-
mann was asked by a reporter:
"How did you two professors
Former Postmaster General James A. Farley personally sends
spend your time together?"
30,000th Passover food package to displaced Jews abroad. This is
"Einstein," replied Weizmann,
the half-way mark in the current half-million dollar campaign
"explained to me the Theory of
to supply kosher food to DP's, being sponsored by the refugee-
Relativity."
Immigration division of the Agudath Israel Youth Council in
"Has he made it clear to you?"
America. Postmaster Albert Goldman of New York, right, receives
asked the reporter.
the package as Edith Niederman, who arrived from Czechoslovakia
"Oh yes, he has ,made it clear
recently, looks on.
to me that he understands the
theory thoroughly," answered
ing in the middle of the street.
--o--
A cow became frightened at the Prof. Weizmann.
A Rabbi asked a rich member of
—o—
his congregation for a loan. The unfamiliar sight of the Jew, loVr-
During the Arab riots in 1934
member refused and justified him- ered her head and picked up the
self by saying: "In your last ser- Jew with her horns and began
mon you stated that taking inter- running wildly. The Jew sobered
est is synonymous with murder." up at once and cried: "Gevald,
Passover Greetings
"But," said the Rabbi. "I ask Yidden, help! I am taking a ride
for a loan without interest, a Ge- on a holiday!"
—o—
milath Chesed."
Fuller Brothers
A Rabbi summoned a tailor one
"In that case," replied the mem-
ber, "it is worse than murder, it Sunday and ordered a Capote. Ile
I
is suicide."
—0—
-§tagitigitivit
voite
A Batlan who spends all his
time in the synagogue while his
wife keeps a little store to sup-
port the familY was called on Fri-
day to relieve her for a short
time to permit her to prepare the
Saturday meals. When she return-
ed she found her husband absorb-
ed in a book and a Cossack was
stuffing his pockets with Baigel.
"Gevald, shlumiel!" cried the
woman, "don't you see the Cossack
is a Ganov!"
"If you would behold," answer-
ed the Batlan, "a Cossack learn-
ing a page of Talmud with Tosfes
it would be a surprise, but a Cos- STORY ON LITVAK
"WHY DO YOU CALL a Litvak
sock stealing is a natural phen-
omenon. Aren't they all thieves?" `Tzeilom Kopf'?" asked a son of
his Galician father. "Because he
—0-
actually has a cross on his head,"
A BATLAN STORY
answered the father. "How can
A big fire broke out in the you prove it?" "Open his skull
middle of the night. Shmyo Bat- and convince yourself," was the
Ian .was among the onlookers and answer. "But suppose the skull is
wisely observed: "It is really for- opened and no cross is found?"
tunate to have this fire to illum- "So what, there will be one Lit-
inate the whole town, otherwise vak less in the world!"
how could the firemen see in the
_0—
darkness how to extinguish the
On Simchas Torah, from the
fire?"
synagogue emerges a long-bearded
—o—
tallis still over his shoulders,
A young man having a very low Jew,
hat pushed back, a bottle of
I.Q. was taken for the first time schnapps in his hands, meander-
to a prospective bride. The Shad-
chan instructed him to keep quiet
and not to say a word.
Passover Greetings
"If you open your mouth," he
warned him, "you will be found
out." At the table the young
man overheard the guests whis-
MAX'S
pering; one said: "This boy must
be a philosopher absorbed in medi-
JEWELRY CO.
tation;" another said: "He may
be a poet day-dreaming;" another
553 Chene
man declared: "That boy is a
natural born fool, afraid to open
10000 Joseph Campau
his mouth."
4857 Michigan Avenue
"Reb Shadchan," called out the
boy, "let's go, they know it al-
PL. 3951
ready."
a bus traveling from Jerusalem to
Tel-Aviv was ambushed by a
band of Arabs and attacked. A
passenger urged the driver in
Hebrew: "Od gaz, od, od . . .
more gas, more, more."
A woman wrung her hands and
lamented in Yiddish, "Woe is me!
We are being attacked, bullets are
flying and they speak Hebrew."
r
ORLEY BROS.
680
E. FORT ST.
A Shampoo and Wave
in Half an Hour with our
New Instant Dryer
La Fleur Barber
& Beauty Shop
12241 LINWOOD
TO. 8-8944
r
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
HIRAM MARKS
HERMAN LEVITT
H. JACOBSON
COAL CO.
ELECTRIC CO.
427 RANDOLPH
CA. 5553
5304 W. VERNOR
LA. 6404
1971 THEODORE
PL. 3617
A
•
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
ENOT FOUNDRY
36254 Annapolis
Wayne 0117
WAYNE, MICH.
Mr. and Mrs.
LOUIS SALLE
MARDI GRAS
CHOP HOUSE
10490 \V. Jefferson
VI. 1.0929
12559 LIVERNOIS
110. 6426
*
.52.5252529_525
•
r
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
UPCHURCH
COLLISION SHOP
Mr. and Mrs. M. Curtis
of the
12920 Grand River
HO. 7675
7718 WOODWARD
TR. 2-5841
Little Flower Shop
AVALON
RESTAURANT
13311 LINWOOD
Passover Greetings
DAVID LIFSHITZ
L. BURROWS CO.
4607 ST. ANTOINE
TE. 2-1840
206 E. GRAND RIVER
RA. 8019
**.
I r
Sincerest Passover
Greetngs To Our
Many Friends
and Relatives
Passover Greetings
Rosenberg
Mr. and Mrs.
Jack and Cecilia
KAUFMAN
and
Mrs. Rose Cowan
Waste Material Co.
673 E. WILLIS
TE. 1-5213
Passover Greetings
American
New & Used
Plumbing
1583 GRATIOT
CA. 7046
PASSOVER GREETINGS
WESTERN & SOUTHERN
LIFE INSURANCE CO.
602 STEPHENSON BUILDING
•
.....- ■■■■■■■■■■■■...w.. ■■■■■■■■■■■■■•■■■,/
Passover Greetings
HURON FORGE &
MACHINE CO.
9041 ALPINE
110. 2062
Passover Greetings
Passover Greetings
ERNEST STEIN
American Army and Navy Store
CLUB 509
A
Woodward at Lamed
4:11.1. 16. -■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■ ■• ■■ ■ ■■■■■ ■■s i
MICHAEL GALSKY, Prop.
52 Cadillac Square, next to National Bank Bldg.