Friday, April 4, 1947 DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE and The Legal Chronicle Page Ten The Jew Laughs: More Witty Quips (Continued from page 8) drink the spirits come in contact with one another and the balance is disturbed. Hence the person becomes drunk." "Why then," asked the pupil, "doesn't one become drunk on fill- ing the belly with water?" "Simpleton!" retorted the teach- er, "How in the world can one become drunk from plain water?" _0_ A pupil asked the melamed what makes rain. It was explained: "The clouds are like sponges; they go down and absorb water from the ocean and when they rise again the wind shakes them and knocks them together and presses the water out of them, and it comes down as rain." "How do you know it is so?" asked the pupil. "Fool," cried the melamed, "don't you see the rain coming down?" Farley Mails Passover Food to DP's 01.5' asked the tailor to be sure and have it ready before next Saturday. The Capote, as usual, was not ready in time. When the tailor delivered the garment, the Rabbi admonished him: "See the difference between you and God. He, blessed be his name, created a whole world in six days, and you couldn't make even one garment in this time." "That is just what I say," re- plied the tailor, "God created the world in a hurry, in six days, and look at it, it is all wrong; I on the other hand, took my time and look at the Capote, it's per- fect." —o— Passover Greetings ZIONIST ANECDOTES mog, CIIAIM WEIZMANN and Prof. Albert Einstein were fellow travel- ers on a boat sailing for America. On arriving at New York, Weiz- mann was asked by a reporter: "How did you two professors Former Postmaster General James A. Farley personally sends spend your time together?" 30,000th Passover food package to displaced Jews abroad. This is "Einstein," replied Weizmann, the half-way mark in the current half-million dollar campaign "explained to me the Theory of to supply kosher food to DP's, being sponsored by the refugee- Relativity." Immigration division of the Agudath Israel Youth Council in "Has he made it clear to you?" America. Postmaster Albert Goldman of New York, right, receives asked the reporter. the package as Edith Niederman, who arrived from Czechoslovakia "Oh yes, he has ,made it clear recently, looks on. to me that he understands the theory thoroughly," answered ing in the middle of the street. --o-- A cow became frightened at the Prof. Weizmann. A Rabbi asked a rich member of —o— his congregation for a loan. The unfamiliar sight of the Jew, loVr- During the Arab riots in 1934 member refused and justified him- ered her head and picked up the self by saying: "In your last ser- Jew with her horns and began mon you stated that taking inter- running wildly. The Jew sobered est is synonymous with murder." up at once and cried: "Gevald, Passover Greetings "But," said the Rabbi. "I ask Yidden, help! I am taking a ride for a loan without interest, a Ge- on a holiday!" —o— milath Chesed." Fuller Brothers A Rabbi summoned a tailor one "In that case," replied the mem- ber, "it is worse than murder, it Sunday and ordered a Capote. Ile I is suicide." —0— -§tagitigitivit voite A Batlan who spends all his time in the synagogue while his wife keeps a little store to sup- port the familY was called on Fri- day to relieve her for a short time to permit her to prepare the Saturday meals. When she return- ed she found her husband absorb- ed in a book and a Cossack was stuffing his pockets with Baigel. "Gevald, shlumiel!" cried the woman, "don't you see the Cossack is a Ganov!" "If you would behold," answer- ed the Batlan, "a Cossack learn- ing a page of Talmud with Tosfes it would be a surprise, but a Cos- STORY ON LITVAK "WHY DO YOU CALL a Litvak sock stealing is a natural phen- omenon. Aren't they all thieves?" `Tzeilom Kopf'?" asked a son of his Galician father. "Because he —0- actually has a cross on his head," A BATLAN STORY answered the father. "How can A big fire broke out in the you prove it?" "Open his skull middle of the night. Shmyo Bat- and convince yourself," was the Ian .was among the onlookers and answer. "But suppose the skull is wisely observed: "It is really for- opened and no cross is found?" tunate to have this fire to illum- "So what, there will be one Lit- inate the whole town, otherwise vak less in the world!" how could the firemen see in the _0— darkness how to extinguish the On Simchas Torah, from the fire?" synagogue emerges a long-bearded —o— tallis still over his shoulders, A young man having a very low Jew, hat pushed back, a bottle of I.Q. was taken for the first time schnapps in his hands, meander- to a prospective bride. The Shad- chan instructed him to keep quiet and not to say a word. Passover Greetings "If you open your mouth," he warned him, "you will be found out." At the table the young man overheard the guests whis- MAX'S pering; one said: "This boy must be a philosopher absorbed in medi- JEWELRY CO. tation;" another said: "He may be a poet day-dreaming;" another 553 Chene man declared: "That boy is a natural born fool, afraid to open 10000 Joseph Campau his mouth." 4857 Michigan Avenue "Reb Shadchan," called out the boy, "let's go, they know it al- PL. 3951 ready." a bus traveling from Jerusalem to Tel-Aviv was ambushed by a band of Arabs and attacked. A passenger urged the driver in Hebrew: "Od gaz, od, od . . . more gas, more, more." A woman wrung her hands and lamented in Yiddish, "Woe is me! We are being attacked, bullets are flying and they speak Hebrew." r ORLEY BROS. 680 E. FORT ST. A Shampoo and Wave in Half an Hour with our New Instant Dryer La Fleur Barber & Beauty Shop 12241 LINWOOD TO. 8-8944 r Passover Greetings Passover Greetings Passover Greetings HIRAM MARKS HERMAN LEVITT H. JACOBSON COAL CO. ELECTRIC CO. 427 RANDOLPH CA. 5553 5304 W. VERNOR LA. 6404 1971 THEODORE PL. 3617 A • Passover Greetings Passover Greetings Passover Greetings ENOT FOUNDRY 36254 Annapolis Wayne 0117 WAYNE, MICH. Mr. and Mrs. LOUIS SALLE MARDI GRAS CHOP HOUSE 10490 \V. Jefferson VI. 1.0929 12559 LIVERNOIS 110. 6426 * .52.5252529_525 • r Passover Greetings Passover Greetings Passover Greetings Passover Greetings UPCHURCH COLLISION SHOP Mr. and Mrs. M. Curtis of the 12920 Grand River HO. 7675 7718 WOODWARD TR. 2-5841 Little Flower Shop AVALON RESTAURANT 13311 LINWOOD Passover Greetings DAVID LIFSHITZ L. BURROWS CO. 4607 ST. ANTOINE TE. 2-1840 206 E. GRAND RIVER RA. 8019 **. I r Sincerest Passover Greetngs To Our Many Friends and Relatives Passover Greetings Rosenberg Mr. and Mrs. Jack and Cecilia KAUFMAN and Mrs. Rose Cowan Waste Material Co. 673 E. WILLIS TE. 1-5213 Passover Greetings American New & Used Plumbing 1583 GRATIOT CA. 7046 PASSOVER GREETINGS WESTERN & SOUTHERN LIFE INSURANCE CO. 602 STEPHENSON BUILDING • .....- ■■■■■■■■■■■■...w.. ■■■■■■■■■■■■■•■■■,/ Passover Greetings HURON FORGE & MACHINE CO. 9041 ALPINE 110. 2062 Passover Greetings Passover Greetings ERNEST STEIN American Army and Navy Store CLUB 509 A Woodward at Lamed 4:11.1. 16. -■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■ ■• ■■ ■ ■■■■■ ■■s i MICHAEL GALSKY, Prop. 52 Cadillac Square, next to National Bank Bldg.