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Friday, March 15, 1946
CLIFTON AVENUE - CINCINNATI 20, OHIO
So They Tell Me---
By LOUIS W. ENFIELD
By W. A. GOLDBERG, Ph.D.
Director. Counselling Service
Copyrighted, 1946, by W. A. Goldberg. Ph.D.
All rights reserved
Mem-
d. The
ins to
Your questions in personal problems will be answered
by mail as far as potsibittor In these columns. Send
your question and a stamped, self-addressed envel-
op. to Dr. W. A. Goldberg, 1314 Eaton Tower, De-
troit 26, Mich. oe to the Detroit Jewish Chron-
icle. 525 Woodward Avenue. Detroit 26, Mich.
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Page Five
DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE and The Legal Chronicle
Personal Problems
vement
krt for'
D
'apish Periodical Carter
Children Must Be Told
About Birth and Death
PART I—BIRTH
"Are we coddling the new generation? I have read what coun-
sellors say about the rights of children, their emotional life, about
children being convinced that their parents actually love them. You
say we should prepare children for the birth of a brother or sister
or for a death in the family. I am confused by these worth.. The
last generation thought nothing about such 'highfalutin' ideas. Are
we making sissies of our boys and girls? Isn't the emphasis com-
pletely reversed?"
Samuel B.
No sir! They are not sissies. We do not advocate coddling. The
ideas proposed are down-to-earth, well-tested and practical. Older
people tend to rationalize about the "good old days" of their youth.
But you must admit that you were brought up on a large measure of
ignorance, fairy tales and old wives' sthperstitions. In several funda-
mental aspects of life, children and adults were kept ignorant, such as
the birth of another child, the physical processes and changes which
all children pass through and death. Many educated married folks
went through life (and still do) oblivious of the common facts of
biology.
The Obligations of Parents
Parents have primary obligations in the aspects of living. In form-
er years, each family had four or more children. Birth, death, acci-
dents were familiar and repeated events in daily living.
Today most families have one or two children. Birth is a new
experience to another child. The., only child in a family receives a
major share of family attention. The coming child will offer him com-
petition in the love and affection of the parents, as the child sees it.
When parents announce the birth of a new baby only on the day of
Its birth, they offer a potential shock to the older child. A baby nat-
urally needs considerable attention. That attention it gets at the ex-
pense of the 'other child. A five-year-old sees in another child only a
threat to his own security.
Good family•training indicates that the only child be told of the
forthcoming birth, in terms of a playmate for himself, an enlarged
family. Being told early, when the mother's pregnancy is noticeable
will enlist the older child as a partner in the coming event. He can
then be told the facts of life, in language understandable to him. He
can anticipate the joys of a brother or sister.
After the new child Is born, the other children must receive an
adequate share of attention. They can be enlisted to assist, in small
ways, in the added burdens of the family.
What is accomplished by such maneuvers? They build unity in a
family. Failure to observe them invites an open or hidden fear of re-
jection. The newer concepts of child care are mistakenly charged with
the absence of discipline. That is true only with reference to formal
. ordering and strict and instant obedience. Today's methods instill dis-
cipline in a child's life by giving him an understanding of the require-
ments of self-control. They give him a basis for his own questions,
for learning — in his own way — why he must comply. They make
him a partner in the family circle.
Goldberg's Rules for Parents
Parents are abligated to provide children with:
1. A sound body—through proper foods, medical care, inoculations
and vaccinations.
2. An education — both for making a living and for living, cul-
turally, as a human being.
3. Sex information — on the basis of the best current medical and
social knowledge as to the part which sex plays isv the total picture
of living.
4. Religious training — a background of beliefs, knowledge to be
useful in a philosophy of life, in relating the person to the universe.
sound mind —disciplined , independent and capable of direct-
Ong the human being into normal and socially acceptable living. In this
r the parents' knowledge is not given but often requires expert help.
To seek such help is an admission of progress.
6. Pre-marital information — the preparation, by parents, of their
children for life's most serious business, getting a life partner and
living with that life partner on a life-long basis.
7. Independence from the parents — the release of children from
all parental controls coupled with parental Interests and friendships
With people of their own group.
Parents thus recognize that they are merely trustees of their chil-
dren until maturity. As parents, they have only the temporary cus-
tody of children — to discipline them, to instill in them a sense of
personal worth, to develop a sense of responsibility. Giving children
correct informati6n bout birth—their own and of the other children—
I
s one element in thi plan. The measure of the parental job is in
the results visible to
Vers.
Note: Next week
will discuss how and why children must be
ktold about death.
1110E9F T EE) RoX
l
What Is the Legion?
Dear Editor:
We members of the American Legion are asked: "What is the
American Legion?" The American Legion is not a club, although
many of its posts operate clubhouses. It is not a fraternal organiza-
n, although it offers the fellowship of comrades In arms. The Legion
' A service organization. It is the trustee of a sacred responsibility
power. The beneficiaries of this trust own the Legion. It belongs
-those men and women who bear on their bodies and minds the
marks of the price they have paid for love of country. It belongs to
the father and mother, the wiaow and the orphans of those for whom
there can be no homecoming. It belongs to those sons and daughters
of ours who yet serve America in the far-flung spaces of the world.
It belongs to every man and woman of America who has HONOR-
ABLY served his nation in the armed forces. While it serves its mem-
bership and those who were of the armed forces, it also has a pri-
n' IV concern in the future of America. It has offered and will con-
tinue to offer leadership in those causes that promote the well-being
of the nation. It seeks the co-operation and help of every citizen. It
belongs to the nation. Those who own it are the beneficiaries of Its
service and Its strength. Through it we who served America in times
of war continue to serve it and each other in time of peace.
r
.411
MAX ORNSTEIN, Commander.
(Continued on Page 21)
(Concluded)
The old rabbi continued to
stroke his long, white heard. He
stared at the trembling miser.
"On the Sabbath," he continued
dreamily, "I shall announce in the
synagogue that thieves have bro-
ken into your winery. Probably,
the thieves were Gentiles. Per-
haps not, but possibly they were.
Then I shall invoke the law of
Yayin Nasach.
"In the preparation of wine for
Jewish use, no Gentile is allowed
to partake. It is an age old law,
dating bacic to ancient times when
all non-Jews poured libations to
their gods from every goblet of
wine they drank. Any wine that
has been touched by Gentiles is
forbidden for Jewish use.
"Therefore, lest the thieves who
broke into your cellar were Gen-
tiles, all your wine is forbidden to
Jews. ' This announcement will be
sent to all the Jewish communi-
ties in Poland. No Jew will buy
your wine any more."
"You are ruining me," screamed
the miser.
"That is regrettable," was the
imperturbable r e p I y. "Neverthe-
less, that is the law."
"I'll give Beryl back his mo-
ney," pleaded the miser.
"There is still the law of Yayin
Nasach," was the reply. "Unless
we know that the one who broke
into your cellar was a Jew, we
must assume he was not." He look-
ed piercingly at the miser.
"Is there any way you can as-
sure me it was a Jew who stole
Beryl's money?"
The miser broke down.
"Yes, I can," he said tearfully.
"I did it myself. I am the thief.
Punish me in any way you see
fit. You are the judge in this com-
munity. But do not take away
my livelihood."
"I believe you," said the tzadik.
"And now this is your punish-
ment. I will not ask you to make
public confession of your crime.
Instead, you must do as I say.
First, out of the goodness of your
heart, you will give Beryl back
ten times his loss. Then you will
immediately give one-half of all
your wealth to charity. The re-
mainder of your wealth will be
deeded to me in trust. You may
keep it as long as you never re-
fuse any alms or charity that is
asked of you. If ever I hear of
your refusing anyone who asks,
the rest of your fortune is for-
feit."
"And if I refuse to accept your
decree?" asked the miser.
"If you refuse," said the old
tzadik, "this Sabbath I proclaim
all your wine Yayin Nasach. It
you then publicly admit your guilt,
the penalty will be confiscation
of all your weath in the name of
charity."
The miser accepted the decree
and went back home. The next
day he made Beryl the happiest
man in the world. To the surprise
of everyone in the synagogue, he
gave the largest contribution to
the charity box that anyone there
could ever remember being given.
From that time on, the miser
was a changed man. No one ever
asked him for charity that he re-
fused. His home was open for ev-
ery stranger. Whoever needed help
came to him. Everyonejslessed him
and soon he was known in his
own community and all over Po-
land as "The Generous One."
From one end of Poland to the
other, the miser's name was men-
tioned only in blessing. Was there
a father with a marriageable
daughter for whom lie had no
dowry? His request went to the
miser and the money was back
by return mail. Was medical aid
necessary for the poor and the
ailing? The miser sent back the
expenses for the doctor. Did the
home for the old folks need a
new room? The miser provided
it. Were salaries unpaid for the
school, was a new teacher neces-
sary, did the synagogue need re-
decoration? The money was forth-
coming for it all on request.
There was just one odd thing.
He never took out his purse with-
out a spasm of pain passing over
his face. He looked gloomier and
gloomier as the days went by. In
due time, he developed ulcers of
the stomach and a year later he
died.
At his funeral, the loudest
mourner was that self-same Beryl
who, through the miser's gener-
osity, had been set up in business
for himself. The funeral oration
was delivered by a maggid who
started off, "Great Is the virtue of
charity." The whole oration was
on the subject of the goodness of
the deceased and his generosity.
And In the corner of the syna-
gogue, the old tzadik sat in the
corner, stroked his long, white
beard and nodded approvingly.
MAN CIF
T
rut
WEEIC
O RABBI MAX J. WOHLGELERNTER, rabbi of Congregation
Beth Tefilo Emanuel, recognized by all elements of the Jewish
community as a hard working sincere adherent of orthodox
Judaism in this city, the Chronicle accords honor as the Man of the
Week.
Rabbi Wohlgelernter was born in Stacja Miechow in Poland In
the district of Kielce. He studied at Warsaw and Zawierce in the
Yeshivas and knew what it was to hide in a cellar while opposing
armies fought in the street.
His was a typical, secluded, one-sided education. He studied only
Bible, Talmud and Codes. Two years before he left the Yeshiva, how-
ever, he took up the study of Polish. In Warsaw, he spent two hours
of his normal day in secular studies which included Polish, geography
and arithmetic.
His experience with anti-Semitism came early in life. There weee
frequent encounters with hooligans who were eager to beat up little
Jewish boys. Dimly, he was aware of a government-fostered anti-Sem-
itic boycott in Poland immediately after the close of World War One.
Fear, Constant Companion
Fear was his constant companion during the Russo-Polish war
when the Russians came to the very gates of Warsaw while hand to
hold fighting went on in the streets of the town where he lived.
FrOm Poland he came to Toronto, Canada, and from there to the
Isaac Elehanan Theological Seminary in New York. After having sev-
eral positions in various parts of the country, he was called to De-
troit in 1937.
Once here, he--plunged into community life. He is now a member
of the Board of Governors of the -Jewish Welfare Federation and a
member of the executive committee of the Jewish Community Council.
He is a member of the Resettlement Service Committee and a mem-
ber of the Old Age Bureau. He is on the Board of Young Israel in an
advisory capacity and a member
of the executive 'committee of
' Mizrachl. He is a member of the
Bnal Brith and a delegate to the
American Jewish Conference.
Main Interest Yeshiva
Rabbi Wohlgelernter's main inter-
est however, is in the Yeshivoth
Beth Yehudah of which he is the
president. It is his conviction that
orthodox Judaism has not had its
full opportunity in this commun-
ity. The reason it is misunder-
stood is because it has never been
properly presented, he maintains.
In a remarkably clear analy-
sis of the situation, he laid the
root of the difficulty to the lack
of proper education of children.
"The parents who came
from Europe," he said thought-
fully, "had a difficult time in
making all adjustment to their
new environment. They were
ovenvhelmed .by the transition
RABBI Na'01ILGELERNTER
from the backward, small
town communities they had known to the highly industrialized cen-
ters of urban America. They had to learn new trades and profes-
sions, a new language.
"In these first efforts at readjustment, they lost the trend of Jew-
ish historical community institutions such as the synagogue, the
school and, for that matter, the traditions of the home. Synagogues
became ineffective for adult education because of the press of busi-
ness hours.
"Their children went to public school. As a result, the chedorim
and Talmud Torahs were in conflict with their leisure time activities.
Many people sincerely groped for a way out of the dilemma. With
great labor and thought, they evolved the Sunday Schools and the
afternoon Talmud Torah. But this substitute did not reach its aim.
"There is now," he continued, "a newer development, th orthodox
community which emphasizes faith and reverence for Torah and
Mitzvah. It insists on a teaching personnel with a wholesome attitude
toward Jewish religion which uses the sacred sources, the Bible, Tal-
mud and Codes as a guide to life. It utilizes the synagogue service,
both Sabbath and weekday, as an instruction in Judaism.
"Already," he continued enthusiastically, "throughout the coun-
try there are three or four hundred communities with the Rab-
binical Council of America as their national organization whose
members minister to the conn.aunities who follow this program.
"It was this re-discovery," he said seriously, "which brought
a newer realization of the need for a Jewish day school to combine
and harmonize education in religious and secular cultures thus
avoiding conflicts in hours and approaching and developing in a
Jewish boy and girl a wholesome attitude to his Jewish environ-
ment. It looks squarely at American reality. Our life as a Jewish
community expresses itself definitely within the American civiliza-
tion and as such we contribute to the culture of the land."
Home Well Managed
Of the Old Folks Home, he said, "It is a very well managed insti-
tution, perhaps the best of its kind in the United States. It has an
efficient organization and yet adheres completely to tradition. How-
ever, it is still overcrowded."
Going on to other community needs, he expressed the opinion that
the United Jewish Appeal would be successful.
"For a number of years," he said, "we have been stunned by the
immensity of the Jewish tragedy. But the Jewish public is now arous-
ed and is ready to give in a proportion never before experienced."
Federation Representative
Of the Federation, which is conducting the appeal, he said, "It is
gradually becoming more democratized. I feel that there is a sincere
effort on the part of the Federation to become truly representative of
all the elements in the community. Detroit has gone farther in this
respect than many other large communities."
Analyzing the Community Council, he said, "The Council is the
heir to the Kehilla of recent times that existed in the large Jewish
centers of Europe. There is a wide variety of ideologies represented
and they have shown that they can work efficiently on the basis of
democratic representation. I believe," he went on, "that an improve-
ment might result from a constitutional change. There ought to be
direct election to the delegate body with possibly another chamber
representing the organizations.
"There is, however, no essential conflict between Federation and
Council. They both work as representatives of the community in dif-
ferent fields. I am sure they can work harmoniously."
When asked his opinion of the future of Jews in this country, he
paused for a moment.
American Jewry Leaders
"It is my conviction," he said finally, "that American Jewry is on
the way to become the leader of the Jewish communities of the world.
We will have an increase in scholarship on the top and an increase in
participation on the bottom. Already there is an influx of books and
greater Jewish scholarship enriching our life. A great Influence will be
exerted by the Yeshiva University under its new charter.
He ended the interview with a note on Palestine.
"Our ties with the Ylshuv are stronger not only politically and
financially than ever before," he said, "but we are strongly influenced
by the intensity of Jewish life there and by their schools, literature
and men of thought."