January 31, 2003

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January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 1

…Weathnr Jeopardy 02025 The Michigan Daily Ann Arbor, Michigan One-hundred-twelve years ofeditorialfreedom TODY: It's pretty cold outside. So leave on all your clothes. The sun will come up in the morning. Tomorrow- 01.30 Vol. CXIII, No. 69 www.michigandaily. corn President declares war on Oklahoma Argentina and Africa By Minnie Cox For the Daily In a whirling set of events early this morning, President Bush declared war on Japan, Argen...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 2

…2 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 31, 2003 MORE SCANDAL Captain McCluskey, Virgil 'The Turk' Sollazo get what was coming to them MINORITY REPORT ANN ARBOR, place of diversity It's great to be a minority! 0 By David Horn and Seth Klempner Daily Cosa N6stra Writers BRONX, NY - Despite wild specu- lation that Captain McCluskey and Vir- gil "The Turk" Sollazzo were assassinated by Corleone family scion Michael Corleone, it is in fact ...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 3

… MORE SCANDAL The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 31, 2003 - 3 BRIDA L Yum, yum! Seniors award hottest Daily males Carmen "Snow White" Johnson to marry J-Dick, Meizlish, and Mr. Quitter in hundred- dollar wedding Carmen "Snow White" Johnson has given in to the countless hours of courting by Daily Arts Editor Jeff Dickerson, incoming Editor in Chief Louie Meizlish and Daily quitter Tyler Boersen and will marry all three this summer. While ...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 4

…4 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 30, 2003 OP/ED olhe 9U[itt igttn ttilWS 420 ALL THE TIME ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 zpeskowi@umich.edu NEAL IS A TERRORIST EDITED AND MANAGED BY WEALTHY, WHITE SUBURBAN BRATS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 JERSEY JEW Editor in Chief CATHOLIC JEW Editorial Page Editor Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the Daily's editorial board. All other arti...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 5

…THE END OF THE LINE0.. The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 31, 2003 - 5 "Most of us probably feel we couldn't be free without newspapers, and that is the real reason we want the newspapers to be free." - Edward R. Murrow In three and a half years, the Daily has taught me more than any journalism class ever could. And this year it taught me the most important lesson I'll ever learn: When the bullets are coming toward you from every directio...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 6

…f 6 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 31, 2003 the michigan daily CAMERA FOUND IN EECS1 before Christmas break. 647-3249. building atrium ANN ARBOR, 3 TO 4 BDRMS, 25 baths, 1465 King George Biv., Feb 15.- June 15, $1650, Price and Time neg., 734-677-2247. BED FOR SALE!! Queen size bed, 5 mo. old, great condition. Mattress, box spring, metal frame. Call 717-9120. FITNESS EQUIPMENT SALE! Save $300 and more on treadmills, ellip., ect... ...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 7

… Bruce Springsteen is a homo. Seriously, words cannot encompass his gayness www.persiankitty.com eatmaedick@michigandaily.com Get IR'A s 7 Royal Shakespeare Company cast aside for erotic alternative By Chest Rockwell * Daily Porn Aficionado and owner of nice package (that's a big dick, girls!) The English Department at the University made a sur- prising, announcement yesterday, revealing The Royal Shakespeare Company, which has traditiona...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 8

…I It's 'Frifa , we ain't 1ot no bobs, we ain't ot shit to o UR LIFE WOULD SUCK January 31, .2003 www.dailyboycott.cWITHin a roi W 9 J )lrejoesmithg~!umchi. edu at? Me sanction? ; Coleman, Martin, Amaker deny that any self-imposed sanctions are in place; emplore NCAA Selection Committee to consider Maize and Blue in March By Tractor Traylor Show me the Money It looks like Michigan Athletic Director Bill Martin has pulled a fast one on e...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 9

…The Michigan Daily - BOYCOTT THIS Icers lose first 20 games, still hit Frozen Four with new coach Sgroi destroys your mom Football and journalism giants Jeff Phillips and Dave Horn have concocted many a fine headline ... Editor in chief, tyrant Jon Schwartz, has a small mind and never let these see the light of day Mike Cammillary Daily Sports Player After leading the Wolverines as one of the most success- ful coaches in college hockey hist...…

January 31, 2003 (vol. 113, iss. 69) • Page Image 10

…4 10 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 31, 2003 JEOPARDY 2K3 02003 The Michigan Daily Ann Arbor, Michigan Vol. CXIII, No. 81 One-hundred-twelve years of editorial bias (Michigan Review, you guys are hysterical) It's gonna be abihrgt sunshiny day! in OWd 0 0 ml 9 1 me time nas cor yet again. Time us Daily seniors say goodbye: to campus, the Daily, to lawsuits, Martin, weekends on ne, for to ,to Ed the esirable as a .nor- mal li...…

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