There’s 
a 
boxing 
match 
a-brewin’. Now, this is no hand-
picked Apollo Creed versus The 
Italian Stallion, but it seems to 
be the new imminent climax to 
a conflict between male online 
influencers. KSI vs Logan Paul, 
KSI’s brother Deji vs FouseyTube, 
Logan Paul challenging boxing 
legend Floyd Mayweather — these 
influencer boxing incidents have 
become an industry, as millions 
upon millions of online followers 
fill sold-out seats. The roads to 
each of these matches are paved 
with ultra-masculine intentions, 
deafening with the sounds of diss 
tracks, chest-beating and emas-
culating insults. In the past few 
months, a new beef was born 
between veteran YouTube com-
mentator Cr1TiKal and Andrew 
Tate ally Sneako.
Before you click away, let me 
affirm: This isn’t some drama 
recap. This boxing prelude is our 
case study for the masculine con-
ventions at play in the YouTube 
manosphere. As the Arts section’s 
resident black belt, I want to frame 
our points with the pugilistic pag-
eantry they deserve — ringside 
asides for our explorations, of 
course. 
HELLO BOXING FAAAAANS! 
Welcome to the ring! We’ve got a 
helluva show for you tonight, folks, 
so let’s do introductions. In one 
corner, weighing in at a speculated 
165 lbs and standing at 5’6” stacked 
in a self-described “anime charac-
ter” physique, “Big Moist” Charles 
White! In our other corner, his 
challenger weighing in at his own 
speculated 169 lbs and standing 
at 6’2” but still unable to beat the 
stick-arm allegations, “Sneako” 
Nico Kenn De Ballinthazy! Will 

this be a fight or a farce? You’ll just 
have to stick around and see!
This is a brawl of bodies, so let’s 
discuss physicality first. When you 
hear those measurements, you are 
right to assume these men don’t 
stand as paragons of pugilism. Nei-
ther did the Paul brothers or KSI 
before training for months under 
professional coaches. Thus, the 
first engagement with masculinity 
rears its head. 
Think of the ideal male body — 
or at least what meme culture pos-
its as ideal. If you compare your 
vision to someone else’s, those 
ideals would undoubtedly clash. 
Masculinity is both malleable and 
self-multiplicative. Different coun-
tries have different beauty stan-
dards; masculine ideals shift when 
viewed through the female gaze. 
They change depending on wheth-
er they are non-heteronormative 
or trapped in some ouroboros of 
masculinity viewed through the 
lens of male desirability.
But what if we evaluate the 
ideal male body based on func-
tion? One look at the varying body 
shapes of the world’s top athletes 
— both male and female — imme-
diately dispels a single ideal. Even 
in boxing, there is a wide physical 
diversity across weight classes and 
fighting styles. White’s constant 
sardonic self-aggrandization of his 
non-masculine-ideal-conforming 
height aside, he still closes the gap 
between his opponent’s “Aber-
crombie & Fitch from 1998” phy-
sique, then simultaneously insults 
and praises Ballinthazy’s efforts to 
improve his own body in the same 
sentence. Of course, Ballinthazy 
fired the first shot in this entire 
scuffle.
The challenger shouts some-
thing about monogamy and his 
favorite “clickbait” films and 
throws the first strike — an upset 
punch straight to the ribs! Though 

it seemingly lands, Moist keeps 
his gloves up and is barely moved. 
Sneako throws another blow. He 
throws another. And another. 
And another! And Moist is just 
not moving, not retaliating at all 
and seems unbothered by all these 
shots. His gloves aren’t even up! 
He’s just staring. I almost feel 
sorry for Sneako at this point. We 
can see the challenger’s getting 
frustrated, he’s squatting low and 
— OH! HEÆS GONE FOR THE 
LOWEST 
BLOW 
POSSIBLE! 
Moist grits his teeth, squats and 
— OH MY LORD, AN UPPER-
CUT KNOCKS SNEAKO ON THE 
GROUND! Moist raises his fist in 
the air — folks, he’s making sure 
the cameras see the Moist merch 
logo on his gloves. Ever the oppor-
tunist.
So what started the Cr1tiKal 
versus Sneako beef? I promised 
you this wasn’t a recap, but a bit of 
context is necessary: When White 
mocked members of the Fre-
shandFit podcast for telling obvi-
ously false fables of their sexual 
escapades, Ballinthazy felt he had 
to defend his hetero-masculine 
homies’ honor. On his stream, he 
threw every personal insult he 
could at White, culminating in 
an attack on White’s partner and 
their relationship. White respond-
ed with a short video explain-
ing that he found Ballinthazy’s 
opinion irrelevant because Ball-
inthazy enjoyed the highly prob-
lematic film “Cuties” and, despite 
Ballinthazy’s discomfort with his 
own partner cuckolding him, rec-
ommended that every couple try 
the practice. White’s point is a bit 
more nuanced — he takes issue not 
with the emasculating fetish itself 
or with Ballinthazy’s partner, but 
with Ballinthazy’s recommenda-
tion despite his own discomfort. 

“Mr. Collins! Come in. Come in.” 
Peter H. Sutcliffe stood from 
his chair, nearly knocking it back-
ward as he stumbled through the 
dark dining room toward the door, 
which opened to reveal a rather 
stalwart man in Edwardian dress. 
He leaned into the room, not quite 
entering, and looked around with 
wide eyes. The dining room’s 
refined splendor was familiar to 
him, but it gave him the most omi-
nous feeling of not quite existing. 
“This way then …” Mr. Sutcliffe 
half-mumbled to himself as he took 
F. Howard Collins by the arm and 
gently drew him into the room, 
trying to mitigate its confusing 
effect.
Another man stood by the table, 
and with a bright smile, he reached 
out to shake Mr. Collins’ free hand 
with the utmost friendliness. “Mr. 
Collins,” he greeted as though they 
were old friends, “how pleased 
I am that our paths have finally 
crossed. It should have happened 
by now — you’ve used my work 
plenty enough, eh?” 
Herbert Spencer winked and 
guided Mr. Collins to the seat 
beside him. Mr. Spencer was 
dressed before either of the other 
men’s times — in fact, he looked 
distinctly Victorian in his longer 
coat and dramatic patterns. Upon 
consideration, Mr. Sutcliffe was 
dressed oddly as well. His plat-
form shoes and wide-legged pants 
placed him at least 60 years ahead 
of either man, but he seemed quite 
at ease in the dining room, as if he 
started and ended there.
“Well, Mr. Spencer, you’re —” 
Mr. Collins began spluttering, and 
Mr. Sutcliffe sat across from both 
of them. “It’s only that I don’t know 
—”
“Where you are?” Mr. Spencer 
interrupted with a knowing smile.
“Precisely!” 

“Neither do I; isn’t it a thrill?” 
Mr. Collins glanced first at the 
steaming bread at the table’s other 
end and then at the crystal decant-
er near his hand. Suspicion laced 
his features until he remarked, 
“Yes, but, Mr. Spencer … you’re 
quite dead. You were when I cited 
your work.” 
The room fell silent. Mr. Spen-
cer and Mr. Sutcliffe were sud-
denly solemn. The ticking of a 
grandfather clock could be heard 
somewhere far away.
Herbert cleared his throat. “Yes, 
well, perhaps my friend Mr. Sut-
cliffe …” he trailed off, gesturing to 
the younger man, who leaned for-
ward with his hands spread peace-
ably on the table.
“Gentlemen,” 
Mr. 
Sutcliffe 
began, “you being dead or alive 
doesn’t matter. What matters is 
that I’ve brought you here to settle 
a small debate that I think will be 
of great interest to you both.” Mr. 
Sutcliffe kicked his feet up on the 
table, leaving scuff marks on the 
finely polished wood and eliciting 
cringes from the other men. “The 
Oxford comma,” he said with the 
confidence of a man who has no 
clue what he’s talking about.
“The what?” Mr. Spencer asked 
with a laugh that tried and failed to 
clear the tension.
“Well, of course, I coined the 
term,” Mr. Sutcliffe doubled back. 

“But I still don’t know — who 
invented it? You see, I cite Mr. Col-
lins, but even Mr. Collins credits 
Mr. Spencer.”
Mr. Spencer and Mr. Collins 
looked at each other, both men’s 
faces suddenly dominated by fur-
rowed brows and frowns. 
After a moment, Mr. Collins 
shook his head and said, “Mr. 
Sutcliffe, I’m afraid neither of us 
knows what you’re talking about.”
The door swung open violent-
ly. “I am sorry I’m late!” A man’s 
voice boomed through the room, 
accompanied by a loud stomping 
and the sound of someone beating 
dust from their coat. “The train 
was dreadful — well, hello! I didn’t 
know we had company!” 
“Is this the waiter?” Mr. Spen-
cer asked, turning to Mr. Sutcliffe, 
who rolled his eyes and tried to 
answer, but was again interrupted.
“The waiter?” the newcom-
er asked incredulously but not 
unkindly. “Horace Hart, control-
ler of the Oxford University Press,” 
Mr. 
Hart 
introduced 
himself 
and strode forward with a hand 
stretched toward Mr. Spencer, who 
shook it in a conciliatory manner. 
He shook next with Mr. Collins 
and Mr. Sutcliffe before taking his 
place at the table. “Now what’s this 
we’re discussing?”

Arts
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

A story for the Oxford comma, 
The Daily’s most oppressed 
piece of punctuation

Wednesday, April 12, 2023 — 5

Design by Yuchen Wu

 

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Phi Beta Kappa
Phi Beta Kappa is the oldest and most widely recognized scholarly honorary society in America. Founded in 1776 at the College of William and Mary, it celebrates 
excellence in the liberal arts and sciences. The UM chapter, Alpha of Michigan, was founded in 1907 and inducted its hundred and fifteenth class into membership 
on April 2, 2023. An invitation to join Phi Beta Kappa requires a history of impeccable academic performance that reflects not only grades but breadth and depth of 
intellectual engagement. Membership as a junior is arguably the highest honor that an undergraduate in liberal arts and sciences can achieve. The Executive Committee of 
the Alpha of Michigan Chapter of Phi Beta Kappa recognizes and congratulates these new members of this venerable society. 

MADDIE AGNE
Daily Arts Writer

Read more at MichiganDaily.com

CR1TIKAL VERSUS SNEAKO: 
The fascinating masculine 
conventions of YouTube 
beef boxing matches

SAARTHAK JOHRI
Digital Culture Beat Editor

Read more at MichiganDaily.com

