I 

realize how burnt out I feel 
from all of my activities and 
school work. I’m finding it 
hard to remember my schedule, 
what I did last week, what I ate 
yesterday, and I have to look 
at my calendar to remember 
everything. It is not a good 
feeling. I can’t truly enjoy my 
activities and daily life anymore 
without feeling dread. What is 
your advice?
-L

Dear L,
I 
completely 
understand 
where you are coming from. 
Burnout is such a normal 
feeling 
and 
is 
so 
real! 
Regardless of your major and 
path, college is undoubtedly 
stressful! Psychological stress 
and 
burnout 
are 
evidently 
prevalent in first-year college 
students, as well as the greater 
population. Nearly everyone 
experiences dread throughout 
their own journey, whether or 
not there is a specific reason 
or cause for it. I recommend 
that 
you 
switch 
up 
your 
routine. Think about it — what 
is boring you? What are small 
things you can change? What 
is causing this feeling? Is it 
exhaustion, stress from school, 
an 
emotionally 
draining 
relationship? 
All 
of 
these 
factors are either able to be 
fixed or coped with, so take a 
step back and think on them. 
Are you able to take some space 
from the person that is causing 
you extra worry? Or maybe 
you’re 
feeling 
discouraged 
about being social and seeing 
friends — that’s fine, too! Take 
a self care day and watch your 
favorite YouTube channel and 
eat Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, 
and then make lunch plans 
with a trustworthy, comforting 
friend for next weekend. 
After reaching study goals, 
set rewards for yourself. Maybe 
you hate one of your classes and 

it is not an option to drop, but 
on the way home every day you 
can distract yourself by calling 
a loved one and laughing with 
them. Additionally, you can 
try and make small changes 
in your routine. Whether it 
is as simple as a new coffee 
order, or as drastic as planning 
a road trip or switching your 
current lease, something in 
your schedule should become 
unfamiliar 
and 
different. 
When I am in a rut, I like 
to connect with old friends 
and try new workout classes, 
indulge in a new book or a TV 
show and find a new music 
artist to love. Sometimes life is 
disappointing for no particular 
reason, but finding little things 
to look forward to on a day-
to-day basis will break down 
those slumps and encourage 
you to keep pushing. Start 
journaling to reflect on each 
day and take a few moments 
each morning to think about 
what you are grateful for, then 
emphasize those sources of 
happiness as often as possible: 
Prioritize the little things that 
make you smile, make an extra 
effort 
towards 
meaningful 
relationships, try new things 
and regularly reflect on the 
positive aspects of your daily 
life. Take your life one day at a 
time — I promise there’s light 
at the end of the tunnel!
*
I’m 
not 
sure 
if 
this 
is 
something 
you 
can 
provide 
advice on, but I would like to get 
a different perspective outside 
of 
just 
asking 
my 
friends. 
Should I even bother coming out 
to my parents? I’ve been out to 
my friends/classmates as queer 
for several years now and I’m 
very lucky to be surrounded 
by a wonderful and supportive 
friend group. But, for years now, 
I have tossed around the idea of 
coming out to my parents and 
my friends have all encouraged 
me to come out to them, but 
right now, I don’t know if it’s 
even necessary? Like, in theory, 
would it be nice to tell them so I 

don’t have to feel like I’m holding 
something back from them? Yes, 
it would be lovely. I would love 
for my mom to stop pointing out 
every boy at the store to me as 
if I am going to date them. But 
at the same time, my parents 
don’t ever ask me about dating 
or crushes, and I don’t have 
the kind of relationship with 
them where I could honestly 
ever bring that stuff up with 
them, if that makes sense. I’ve 
definitely dropped many hints 
to them that I’m not straight 
(I’ve purchased way too many 
LGBTQ+ books on our Amazon 
account and I have a rainbow 
flag sticker on my computer 
that they’ve definitely seen). 
Still, they’ve never brought it 
up to me, so it feels like they 
are either completely clueless 
or they don’t want to bring it 
up to me because they wouldn’t 
approve. We have a few friends 
and family who belong to the 
LGBTQ+ community and they 
seem to be fine with them, but 
I know sometimes people take 
it more personally when their 
own children come out. So that’s 
basically the whole situation at 
hand. There’s definitely been 
times in the car with them where 
I have wanted to blurt it out or 
times where I have just wanted 
to send them an email explaining 
everything, but I never do. 
Sorry for this long message and 
I totally understand if you don’t 
want to give me advice on this! 
I’m just happy that I can share 
this with someone who doesn’t 
know me personally, it’s nice. 
Thanks in advance!
-G

Dear G,
First of all, I commend you 
for your bravery for submitting 
your 
situation 
to 
me 
and 
our readers. I’m sure that 
there are so many others in 
your position, and I can only 
imagine how difficult it is to 
feel nervous about revealing 
a portion of your identity to 
your family. I do not have any 
personal experience with this 

decision, but I am fully in 
support of you and whatever 
you decide to do. It seems as 
though you are truly weighing 
all of your options as best as 
you can, and you acknowledge 
the pros and cons to each and 
every scenario. The matter of 
utmost importance is how you 
feel and whichever outcome 
you think will benefit you the 
most — the choice that is best 
for you is exactly the one you 
should choose. I encourage 
you to turn to other members 
of the LGTBQ+ community; 
the University provides and 
recommends 
local 
helpful 
and 
educational 
resources 
that are ideal for fostering a 
community and establishing a 
support system. I recommend 
Redbook’s 
advice 
from 
LGTBQ+ influencers, as well 
as The Trevor Project: The 
Coming out Handbook to learn 
about 
personal 
experiences 
such as yours and gain some 
advice from more intellectual 
and experienced individuals 
who have likely had similar 
conflicts.
My best advice is to consider 
this part of your identity 
like any other when/if you 
come out to your parents. 
You’re queer just like your 
hair may be brown, just like 
you may have three piercings 
on your left ear or that you 
may be 5’4”. You don’t owe 
them any sort of explanation 
or formal confession similar 
to an epiphany. If it makes 
you 
more 
comfortable 
to 
casually mention it rather than 
having a deep conversation, 
that is perfectly acceptable. 
The 
movie 
“Love 
Simon” 
challenged society to think 
about why “coming out” is 
necessary 
for 
people 
who 
are 
not 
heterosexual 
and 
cisgender, but not necessary 
for those that are. I think that 
with this lesson we can break 
down the traditional methods 
of “coming out.” Next time 
you sign a family email, you 
can put your pronouns in your 
signature, or if you choose to 
introduce a future partner to 
your family, you can let them 
know that way. “Coming out” 
does not necessarily have to be 
a sit-down conversation, and I 
encourage you to brainstorm 
alternative ideas to let your 
parents know and to sense 
which one makes you the most 
comfortable and content.
All things said, you should 
hold so much pride no matter 
what decision you make, in the 
wise words of Harvey Milk, 
“All young people, regardless of 
sexual orientation or identity, 
deserve a safe and supportive 
environment 
in 
which 
to 
achieve their full potential.” 
Family is composed of those 
who choose to support you no 
matter what, and regardless 
of this decision it seems as 
though you have found people 
who truly accept and support 
you for who you are. I wish you 
the best of luck and remember, 
this is just another beautiful, 
unique and special part of 
you — if they get the honor of 
knowing it, they should treat it 
like one!

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
8 — Wednesday, January 18, 2023

LINDSEY ZOUSMER
Advice Columnist

Dear Lindsey: balancing burnout

Opinion

Conquer the Cold
is Back!

The challenge returns
January 10–February 10, 2023!

Register now at CommuteandWin.org

@getdowntown

The getDowntown Program provides commuting programs and services to downtown 
Ann Arbor employees and employers. A program of TheRide, getDowntown's partners 
include the City of Ann Arbor and the Ann Arbor DDA.

In defense of bad 
decisions

I 

always feel a sense of nostalgia 
for the winter months. Many 
of my best memories were 
made under a gray sky and on 
snow covered ground. One cold 
February during my junior year 
of high school, I remember 
roaming around a state park with 
friends and complaining about the 
pandemic. With the high caseload 
in our area, we had to find ways 
to kill time outdoors. So, freezing 
our asses off, we traversed an icy 
lake and stopped on a small island. 
Immediately, I noticed an empty 
Fireball shooter by my feet and got 
an idea.
After months of drinking in 
backyards 
and 
neighborhood 
parks, looking to avoid being 
yelled at by a parent or charged 
with a misdemeanor, my friends 
and I were seeking a safer 
option. I saw the small bottle of 
cinnamon whiskey and came to 
the nonsensical conclusion that 
because police don’t have any 
way of crossing water (a false 
assumption, though one I made 
nonetheless), the most logical 
place to drink was on an island.
So we built a boat.
One quick look on Google reveals 
a plethora of literature explaining 
the negative consequences of poor 
decisions and what leads people 
to make them. Far less research, 
however, exists to explain the 
benefits of such decisions. Clinical 
Psychologist Ron Breazeale writes 
in Psychology Today that “in 
general, bad choices have to do 
with acting out of emotion and 
not out of reason. Unfortunately, 
strong emotions can cloud our 
thinking and move us to do things 
that are not smart.” 
But acting “not smart” is one of 
the joys of life. It’s necessary and 
fun to be a dumbass sometimes. 
Strong emotions sit at the center 
of all meaningful decision making, 

and I’d argue that sometimes a 
bad decision is the healthiest way 
to cope with them. Often, the very 
guardrails meant to keep us from 
making the wrong choices are 
creating the emotions.
We’ve all heard other adults 
reminisce and tell stories about 
their own stupid behavior in their 
youth. And yet, as parents, many of 
them go on to track their children’s 
phones and demand hourly text 
updates. By trying to shield their 
kids from harm, they are actually 
preventing them from making 
valuable mistakes. For all people, 
but 
especially 
young 
adults, 
mistakes are necessary to learn 
about ourselves and our place 
in the world. An overprotective 
approach steals a fundamental 
part of early life from children. 
It’s no surprise kids act out to get 
it back — in the era of bubble wrap 
and smooth edges, sometimes 
people long for the thorns.
For older high schoolers and 
college students, the guardrails are 
different but equally oppressive. 
We worry less about parents or 
teachers chastising us and more 
about 
harder 
classes, 
tuition 
and relationships. We become 
responsible for ourselves and want 
an escape from it sometimes.
When my friends and I built 
our boat, we were feeling down 
about school, the constant effort 
to avoid COVID-19 and the burden 
of being stuck inside with the same 
people every day. A bad choice — 
attempting to drink on an island 
after a misconception about the 
reach of law enforcement — was 
our only escape, the only thing to 
keep us going.
Now, as a freshman in college, 
bad choices are keeping me going 
as I adjust to campus life. Staying 
up too late on Wednesday to meet 
a deadline, then drinking too much 
on Thursday to burn off steam has 
become my weekly routine. 

JACK BRADY
Opinion Columnist

Read more at MichiganDaily.com

VIEW THE FULL DEI 1.0 EVALUATION REPORT AT 
DIVERSITY.UMICH.EDU

#UMichDEI @UMichDiversity

DEI 1.0 
EVALUATION REPORT

Learn about the progress made and challenges discovered 
through U-M’s initial DEI Five-Year Strategic Plan, DEI 1.0, and 
how these lessons will help guide our next strategic plan, DEI 2.0.

