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March 16, 2022 - Image 4

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The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
Arts
4 — Wednesday, March 16, 2022

“FEELINGS” ARE AMONG the hard-

est concepts to grasp, and even harder to
reflect on enough to write about them. I
once heard that the more specific art gets,
the more universally relatable it becomes. I
am proud of how these writers, compiling
their hearts for “The Empathy B-Side,” have
parsed all the tiny details of their feelings,
opening their minds and lives to readers
and bringing their emotions together into a
collection guaranteed to tear at your heart
and knit it back into one piece. It is hard to
create one definition of a feeling: Everyone
wears grief differently, and same goes for
love, humor, horror. Thank god we have
our favorite books and movies and video
games and songs as shining mercies to point
to and connect over with others, or at least
feel a connection to these pieces that have

helped us learn more about ourselves. Art
serves as a constant reminder that we are

unravelled and put back together at the
hands and the grace of others.

I WASN’T EXPECTING anything in par-

ticular when I sent my DNA collection kit to
23andMe, but I was still met with a confusing
ambivalence when I got my results back a few
weeks later. Before I found myself staring at a pie
chart filled with just one color and its accompa-
nying “100% Chinese & Southeast Asian” label, I
had only ever thought of my ethnicity in abstract
terms.

The circumstances of my birth are entirely

unknown to me. As far as I know, my life started
when I was about two months old, but even that
is just a supposition. I’ve been told by my moth-
er, who was told by the orphanage from which
I was adopted, that I was found as an about-
two-month-old baby in front of a high school in
central China. The people at the orphanage (a
faceless, disembodied monolith that only exists
in my vague and infrequent references to it) gave
me a birthday — Jan. 1, a ballpark guess — and a
name that’s still legally mine even in my adoptive
country, but that I never use and haven’t spoken

aloud in years.

Growing up, my family theorized that I might

be half white, an idea I went along with whole-
heartedly. In retrospect, I’ve realized that this
idea is intensely problematic, especially coming
from my white adoptive family, especially as
it was almost entirely based on superficial and
reaching observations about my physical fea-
tures. I have a natural double eyelid, something
that a lot of Asian women go through cosmetic
surgery to obtain, and I have relatively fair skin,
which somehow managed to be a point in this
theory’s favor, even though a lot of Chinese peo-
ple have fairer skin than mine. For years, I touted
this idea as if it somehow made me more interest-
ing, but all it ever really did was reveal my des-
peration to be able to personally claim whiteness.

It was probably the vestiges of this despera-

tion and the deeper, internalized racial biases it
revealed that, admittedly, led to disappointment
in finding out I was indisputably, unequivocally,
100% Chinese, but upon further introspection, I
realized that there was something else contrib-
uting to my ambivalence.

I’ve spent most of my life feeling like a fraud in

my own skin. There has always been a dissocia-

tion between me and my ethnicity, created by my
physical and intellectual distance from the cul-
ture I was born into and exacerbated by interac-
tions with people who felt they could make final
judgments about my Asianness (or, in most cases,
lack thereof), even and sometimes, especially, in
spaces meant to educate me about and encourage
my Asianness.

Even though it was just confirming something

about me that was always more likely to be true
than a half-baked theory about having a white
parent, I thought that having categorical proof
that I was indisputably, unequivocally, 100%
Chinese might resolve something about my
identity for me, make me feel more comfortable
claiming this part of me even if others doubted
it — but it didn’t resolve anything. This indeter-
mination, this tangle of identity and internalized
racism and “culturelessness” is something that
I’ve come to a kind of restless, uncertain peace
with. Usually, I love finding answers, I love reso-
lutions, but this is something that — not for lack
of trying — I’ve come to realize I may never be
able to fully reconcile.

The Empathy B-Side

‘It feels like a costume’: Validating my cultural

uncertainty with Diane Nguyen

‘Piglet’s Big Movie’ and

my big emotions

I WAS AN anxious kid. It sounds

like the beginning of a bit, but it’s
true. I was anxious about a lot of
things. Sleep was a big one: I would
spend a lot of nights thinking about
how I wasn’t falling asleep, which in
turn made it harder to fall asleep. I
was plagued with other irrational
anxieties — that no one liked me,
that my family would forget about
me, that something catastrophic
would completely upend my life.

Like a lot of kids, I watched

Winnie the Pooh when I was little,
specifically the 2003 spinoff film
“Piglet’s Big Movie.” I remember
being most captivated not by Pooh
or Tigger or Christopher Robin, but
by Piglet, the small, anxiety-ridden
stuffed pig. And it wasn’t until more
recently that I understood why.

In 2000, there was a study pub-

lished in a Canadian medical journal
positing a theory that “diagnosed”
all of the Winnie the Pooh charac-
ters, showing that they could all be

representations of various psycho-
logical disorders. According to the
study, Pooh and Tigger both had
forms of ADHD, Eeyore suffered
from dysthymia (depression), Owl
was dyslexic and Rabbit had a form
of what might be narcissistic per-
sonality disorder. Piglet, of course,
was diagnosed with General Anxi-
ety Disorder.

The study was mostly done as a

tongue-in-cheek thought experi-
ment, but there is certainly truth
to some of the claims. When I first
learned about this in my intro-
ductory psychology class, I found
myself overwhelmed by a feeling of
comprehension. This was why I had
always felt so connected to Piglet.
We saw the world in a similar way,
and we shared some of the same
anxieties.

It’s true that it’s a little strange to

be so drawn to a character whose
catchphrase is “Oh, d-d-dear!,” but
I know that I’m not the only one.
Piglet is not flashy like Tigger, ador-
able like Roo or silly like Pooh. And
yet there’s something so relatable
about him and his fears that it makes
grown adults put their hand over
their heart and affectionately evoke
his name. He is beloved by many,
including me.

In many Winnie the Pooh stories,

Piglet is overshadowed; in “Piglet’s
Big Movie,” though, he finally gets a
chance to shine. “Piglet’s Big Movie”
follows the crew of Pooh (Jim Cum-
mings, “Christopher Robin”), Tig-
ger (also Cummings), Rabbit (Ken
Sansom, “The New Adventures of
Winnie the Pooh”), Eeyore (Peter
Cullen, “Transformers: The Last
Knight”) and Roo (Nikita Hopkins,
“Pooh’s Heffalump Movie”). The
group, thinking they’ve lost Piglet
(John Fiedler, “The Many Adven-
tures of Winnie the Pooh”), start
following a scrapbook of memories
to give them clues as to his where-
abouts and end up reminiscing on
the memories themselves. It’s true
that it’s riddled with plot holes (Pig-
let is supposedly also looking for his
friends, and they somehow never
run into each other at all — the Hun-
dred Acre Wood isn’t that big, is it?),
but it’s a kid’s movie that packs a
more emotional punch into a short
75 minutes than most movies pack
into a full runtime. Also, it has ador-
able, catchy songs by ’70s folk queen
Carly Simon.

I watched this movie a lot as a kid,

and I always loved it. In some ways,
it’s a very goofy movie; my sister and
I loved quoting our favorite lines at
each other because some of them are
so comically random and randomly
comical. But the other half of the
film’s emotional impact is the focus
on Piglet’s anxieties and on the way
that his friends neglected him. To
this day, this movie makes me cry
every time I watch it.

There’s
a
running
theme

throughout the movie that Piglet

is “too small.” Piglet’s smallness is
a reason that they leave him out of
some of their wild antics; it’s the rea-
son that they instantly jump to the
conclusion that Piglet is in trouble
once they can’t find him. Piglet is
made to believe that his size means
that he isn’t a helpful or useful friend
to rely on. But with the musical
number “If I Wasn’t So Small,” he
starts doing a bunch of small deeds
— helping a ladybug cross to another
plant, helping a squirrel get a “hay-
corn” and helping a bird get back to
its nest. That’s all it takes to reverse
his mindset — he can be helpful.
And when he thinks that his friends
are in trouble, he sets aside all of his
anxieties to go after them.

His friends, however, take lon-

ger to come around. Throughout
the film, as they move through
the memories, there’s a recurring
thread of Piglet’s deeds getting over-
shadowed or the credit for his work
getting stolen by someone else. And
Piglet usually just accepts it. There’s
a moment of “b-b-but,” but in the
end he always smiles and lets his
friends have their moment: He just

wants other people to be happy. It’s
not until they’re running through
the stories again that they realize
everything he has done for them and
how they never let him know how
much they love and respect him.

For me, the emotional pinnacle

hits in the third act of the movie.
Pooh and co., trying to stay out of the
rain, have returned to Piglet’s house,
dejected. They’ve lost the scrapbook,
and they’ve lost hope of finding Pig-
let. A poignant Carly Simon song,
“The More I Look Inside,” plays as
the crew laments their inability to
find their friend and that they had
failed to appreciate him before now.

And then everything begins to

flip. They start to draw their own
pictures in the style of Piglet’s scrap-
book: stories of times that Piglet
helped them. They draw him as a
knight, an explorer, an adventurer
— not someone meek and anxious,
but someone bold and confident.
But in my most recent rewatch, the
part that made me cry the most was
when cranky, cantankerous Rabbit
held up the picture he’d drawn of
him and Piglet, with two beautiful,
simple words: “My friend.”

At the end, when Piglet returns to

his house to find all of the drawings
that his friends have made for him,
his eyes fill with tears. So do mine.
Because in the eyes of his friends, he
isn’t small — he’s big, and brave, and
bright.

All these years later, there are

three main things that I learned
from “Piglet’s Big Movie” that have
stuck with me:

1. Don’t take your friends for

granted. A true friend will do things
without being asked, but that doesn’t
mean that you shouldn’t appreciate
them.

2. A small act of kindness is just

as generous as a large one. Taking a
small part of your day to make some-
one’s life easier is gratifying, wheth-
er you get recognition for it or not.

3. Being anxious doesn’t mean

that you can’t be brave. Being small
doesn’t mean that you can’t be a
hero.

When it comes to empathy, we

usually talk about trying to put your-
self in someone else’s shoes, trying
to understand someone else’s emo-
tional experience from their point
of view. For me, “Piglet’s Big Movie”
was never really about empathy,
because it was already something I
connected with. I saw Piglet’s anxi-
eties and saw my own. I saw him left
out by his friends and was reminded
of some of my own friendships. I
saw him keep trying to be seen, to
love and be loved, and I related. And
when I saw Piglet push through his
fears to help his friends, I felt like
that was something I could do too.
I could also be brave, even when it
scared me.

Design by Tamara Turner

Design by Jennie Vang

ROSA SOFIA KAMINSKI

Senior Arts Editor

KARI ANDERSON

Daily Arts Writer

puzzle by sudokusnydictation.com

By Darryl Gonzalez
©2022 Tribune Content Agency, LLC
03/16/22

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

03/16/22

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

Release Date: Wednesday, March 16, 2022

ACROSS

1 Semi-hard

cheese

5 Windows

navigation aids

9 Come together

14 Block party

item?

15 Memo abbr.
16 Atlanta campus
17 Heaps

river

19 “Check it out!”
20 *Monday NFL

contests, e.g.

23 Boo
24 Seemingly

forever

27 “12 Days” septet
30 Drink with

formaggio

31 Spa sound
33 Garden pest
34 Keto and South

Beach

35 Tech sch. near

Albany, N.Y.

36 Transvaal settler
37 Newspaper VIPs
38 Econ.

barometers

39 Front-end car

cover

40 First stage
42 Skins
43 ABA member
44 Quarterback-

turned-analyst
Tony

45 “A Gallery of

Children” author

46 Food court pizza

seller

48 Grafton who

wrote 25
“Alphabet
Mystery” books

49 WWI German

vice admiral

50 What happens

on March 20,
2022, at 11:33
a.m. ... and what
both parts of
the answers to
starred clues are

56 Analyze in a

grammar lesson

58 Perth put-offs
59 Joint malady
60 Symbol for

turning traffic

61 Snake River

jumper Knievel

62 Stare in wonder
63 Video call

option

64 “Hey” assistant

firstborn

DOWN

1 Verve
2 Sub contractor?
3 Visibly awed
4 Light-loving flier
5 Dances like

the one seen in
“Evita”

6 Thai or Laotian
7 Pain soother
8 Like a sprint

winner

9 Bit of RAM

10 Face with tears

of joy, for one

11 *View from the

Oval Office

12 *Granny Smith,

e.g.

13 Observer
21 Mind
22 Email tab
26 Palindromic

33-Down hit

27 *Multi-field

athletic venue

28 *Crunchy salad

add-in

29 __ guitar
30 Vintage MTV

staple

33 26-Down group
34 State capital on

its own river

38 Toothpaste

choice

40 The Boston

Bruins retired his
#4 in 1979

41 Swed. neighbor
42 Berth place
45 Granola relative
47 “Zeus and

the Tortoise”
storyteller

48 Texas ranger?
49 Massage spots
51 “Avatar” race
52 Breakfast items
53 Biblical builder
54 Hornswoggle
55 Originate (from)
57 Lea grazer

SUDOKU

WHISPER

“Why do I have
to get an intern-
ship?”

“Thursdays are
the new Friday.”

WHISPER

By Stella Zawistowski
©2022 Tribune Content Agency, LLC
03/09/22

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

03/09/22

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

Release Date: Wednesday, March 9, 2022

ACROSS

1 Expand, as bread

dough

5 Lift option

13 Responsibility
14 It borders It.
15 Crown-wearing

literary elephant

16 Work out like a

hairdresser?

19 Time worth

naming

20 Late time, in ads
21 Bills worth a

hundo

22 Enjoy a La-Z-Boy

interjections

25 A lot, to Auden
26 Mother of life, in

Greek myth

27 Needing to be

settled

30 Work out like a

bartender?

35 Evidence of

shortages, for
short

36 Catch, as a flick
37 __ menu
38 Work out like a

fine artist?

43 Good buddy
44 Little winged

singer

45 Slice (off)
46 Crew implement
47 Top-flight
51 Training song in

55 Protagonist of

novels

56 Exec with the

purse strings

57 Work out like a

stockbroker?

60 Be worthy of

counterparts

62 Destine for failure
63 Partner of ends
64 Avonlea adoptee
65 Numero dopo le

sette

DOWN

1 Rodeo performer
2 Accustom (to)
3 Component of

the spice blend

4 Medium ability
5 Take advantage

of

6 Raised landform
7 Tennis immortal
8 U.S. __ 1, East

Coast hwy.

9 Saintly symbol

10 Share a border

with

11 Tinseled fabric
12 Half of seis
15 Literally, “tray

17 Bring together
18 Parental control

option

23 Much, casually
24 Relaxed
27 Gregorius of the

Phillies

28 Either of two

Monopoly
properties that
Abbr.

29 Ballpark figs.
30 Have trouble with

31 Where much of

“Children of the

32 Coal, for one

33 Arena worker
34 Harvests
39 Like many

a Broadway
musical

40 Bingham of

41 Conic section
42 Canapé base,

often

47 Sing like Michael

Bublé

48 Slide (over)

49 Otherwise
50 “Fun Fearless

51 Company

message

52 Cut
54 Centenarian

fashion icon Apfel

55 Fork-tailed flier
58 Relaxing resort
59 Courtroom

affirmation

KATRINA STEBBINS

Senior Arts Editor

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