During
a
workshop
I
participated in last summer, we
were each asked to share our
“immigration story.” I didn’t
end up sharing with the group
as I didn’t necessarily feel like
I had much to say: My parents
immigrated here from South
Korea in the late ’90s, and I was
born and raised in the U.S. End
of story, at least on my end.
I
recently
wondered,
however, if my parents have ever
been asked this question. Have
they — my mom in particular
— ever had the space to recall
the past 20-plus years of lived
experiences in this country?
Have I ever asked them — or her
— to share it with me? This past
week, I set up an “interview” of
sorts with my mom to genuinely
ask her about her immigration
to the U.S. and everything
that followed. My mom was
taken aback by my request and
sheepishly told me she would
jog her memory, and then she
told me her “immigration story”
for the first time in my life.
It was 1999 in South Korea,
she said, and my dad had
gone to the U.S. a year prior.
Originally, the plan was for
them to live in the U.S. while
my dad furthered his education
and then return to Korea a
few years later. When I asked
her about how she felt on her
plane ride to the U.S., I thought
she would tell me about how
she had felt scared, nervously
anticipating the future that
lay before her as a 29-year-old.
Instead, she laughed and told
me that the whole time she had
only been thinking about how
to occupy my older brother for
the duration of the 14-hour
plane ride, as he was just over
two years old at the time. She
said she had just been so excited
to see her husband on the other
side.
When she landed in Portland,
Ore., my dad was excited to take
her home in a real American
car. It was an old 1984 Buick
and, despite his enthusiasm,
she said it buckled and spewed
and could barely last more than
an hour’s drive. She laughed at
him endearingly while sharing
this story, telling me that she
had wondered to herself if this
was what the rumored U.S. was
really like. My mom arrived in
the U.S. with my older brother
on July 3, 1999, and she believed
the people around her who
told her that the fireworks the
next night must have been to
welcome her into this new land.
For the first three years or
so after their immigration, my
parents lived in Eugene, Ore.,
where I was born. My dad had
been attending graduate school
at the University of Oregon
at the time, and my family
lived in the housing complex
for
graduate
students
and
their families. Eugene was the
perfect place to be, she said, a
gorgeous Pacific Northwestern
city
with
a
breezy
small-
town
feel.
Surrounded
by
trees everywhere and only an
hour’s drive from the ocean —
which was good, because the
Buick couldn’t take any more
than that — she recalled this
period of her life in blissful
memory. I listened to her tell
me about the huge lawn that
stretched between the student
apartments, how she would
spend her days barefoot on the
grass and read at the picnic
tables while letting me crawl
around.
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
Michigan in Color
Wednesday, March 31, 2021 — 7
A thread of my mother’s
YOON KIM
MiC Columnist
Last Friday, Kota the Friend
released his sixth studio album in
collaboration with Statik Selektah.
And much like his previous releases,
put any track of his on shuffle and
you’ll be instantly engulfed by the
effortless flow and phenomenal
production quality of his music.
What makes this 28-year-old Black,
Brooklyn-born rapper stand out the
most, however, are his lyrics.
Being an independent act, Kota
clearly takes full creative liberties
with all of his work, which is
shown through his words. In his
music, he often speaks on themes
of (male) emotional vulnerability
and connection to our inner spirit.
These themes came up in his latest
album, To Kill A Sunrise as well as
in his prior discography.
Despite
his
lyrics
being
often vulnerable in nature, they
still
resonate
with
positivity.
Vulnerability begets strength. And
Kota is strong in showing the softer
sides of himself. In his track, “The
Cold,” he states, “Water in my soul,
the pressure on my back / Pushing
through my lows.” And in the
following track, “The Love,” he says,
“I’m giving it to you broken / And
still, you cherished and want it / You
love me openly homie / And that’s
exactly what love is.”
In “Live & Direct,” he starts the
second verse with, “Me and my
brothers speak about our trauma ...
How long can a man carry a world
before he cry for help?”
Later on in the aforementioned
“The Love” Kota states, “Love is
patient, perseverance, consideration.
Deeper than appearances, quick to
air out imitation / Bring out your
power and pushing you past your
limitations, taking you to your
destiny and your liberation.”
Kota successfully draws the
connection between the emotionally
vulnerable nature of love, and that
vulnerability is what ultimately
brings us in touch with our higher
purpose. With every track he elicits
the ongoing battle towards self-
attunement. Ultimately, Kota never
fails to remind us that the “point of
our existence isn’t physical.”
Going back to his track, “The
Cold,” he says, “I’m living my life in
tandem with all the shit I believe /
Movin’ in unison with my spirit,
toward the dream,” and “I’m
focusin’ past the physical, hear it
and take it literal.”
In “What ya Sayin,’” he proclaims,
“I’m genuine in spirit even when I’m
dead wrong.” And in his last track of
the album, “Sunset,” he raps, “I kept
my spirit high when my frequency
was low.”
These references to the spirit
serve as a reminder of our broader
purpose
beyond
the
material
world. Kota often conveys his
contradictory tendencies to value
money and material possessions
and how those distractions keep
him from being who he truly is.
We see this in the way he discusses
his ego, which he also makes many
references to throughout.
In “Go Now,” he says, “Pull off on
my heart and leave my ego on the
curb,” and in “Day Glow,” he states,
“I put my ego on the shelf, so she can
love me for free.” Here, we see this
inner spiritual battle between being
proud of oneself versus remaining
modest.
In his previous album, Lyrics
to Go, Vol. 2, in the song “Santa
Barbara” we hear him remark, “Say
that I want happiness but it seem
like I’m scared of that, so I’m never
idle or I might get suicidal” followed
later by, “I just sit and wonder what
is holding me back and why it feel
impossible just for my soul to relax
/ And I’m feeling so conflicted
‘bout this shit that I’ve been given,
I’m livin’ to get up out of this cycle
that’s turning’ vicious, for real.” In
this song, he illuminates the allure
of grind-and-hustle culture that
pushes us away from being the
divine beings that we are.
While Kota recognizes that
it’s important for us (especially
Black males) to have a sense of self-
affirmation, he also recognizes
the importance in staying humble.
When I hear his music, I feel like
he’s speaking directly to me as a
Black man, allowing me the courage
to affirm my own existence as an
African-American in an extremely
anti-Black world.
His track “For Colored Boys’’
from his album FOTO epitomizes
this the most. In this song Kota
speaking to his newborn son
claims, “We are creators; we don’t
go beggin’ for placement where
we are not wanted,’’ later followed
by, “Why conform to a society that
hates you, and spent all they energy
tryna break you?”
Much like his previous work,
To Kill a Sunrise carries with
it this same radical confidence
and confirmation necessary to
brilliantly and boldly be who you
want to be.
Listen and learn
KARIS CLARK
MiC Columnist
20 mph toward an unpromised future
Design by Jessica Chiu
Design by Jessica Chiu
YOUR WEEKLY
ARIES
If there is something you would
rather not have become public
knowledge, Aries, you will need to
be careful what you say this week.
Your own urge to brag, boast or
simply gain attention
could sabotage your
need to keep some
things private.
AQUARIUS
GEMINI
You may be expected to toe the
line or conform in some way this
week, especially in your working
professional life. When Mercury
squares Mars, you face having to
choose between what is
expected of you versus
what you’d really like
to say. Choose wisely.
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
SCORPIO
CANCER
Too many questions leave you
wondering what you can rely
upon this week. If you are
religious, expect to feel unsure
about your own beliefs – you may
even experience
something which
directly contradicts
them, leaving you
deeply unsettled.
TAURUS
Try not to get friends involved in
your financial situation, if you can
help it. It’s your own private
business, but if you borrow money,
or ask for help, you may find
things not quite so
private anymore.
VIRGO
PISCES
LIBRA
LEO
If you have hidden resentments
towards friends, colleagues or
acquaintances, your true feelings
may not say hidden for very much
longer.
Read your weekly horoscopes from astrology.tv
Expect a certain amount of
conflict this week between the
pressures of work and the
pressures of your relationship.
Are you feeling stuck in a rut,
Libra? When Mercury squares up to
Mars this week, you may feel tired
of doing the responsible thing, or
the expected thing, and you will
yearn to walk on the wild
side.
Risk-taking, especially emotional
risks, is high on your agenda this
week, for some reason. It’s almost
as though you’re tempting fate,
willing something to go wrong.
Emotionally, this is very
difficult territory,
especially when
Mercury squares up to
Mars.
There is discomfort this week
between your blood family and
your partner or your in-laws. This
is not at all pleasant and you may
feel very much stuck in the
middle, especially when
Mercury squares up to
Mars and communi-
cations turn sour.
It’s easy to make mistakes this
week, Capricorn, especially if you
are very busy and/or life is very
chaotic.
It’s difficult to focus this week,
especially if you’re not enjoying
your job, your studies or your other
responsibilities. The urge to run
away is strong, especially when
Mercury squares up to
Mars.
Something from the past seems to
be holding you back at the
moment, especially when Mercury
squares up to Mars. It may be a
lack of confidence, especially if
your family was not that
supportive to you as
you grew up.
WHISPER
“Nerds are not bad things!”
“Should we make it up for the
time we’ve been missing?”
“Focus on your own success.
That is my key to happiness.”
Read more at
MichiganDaily.com
Read more at
MichiganDaily.com
On the highway, I could easily
“put the pedal to the metal”
and cruise at 80 miles per hour
towards my destination. Watching
trees pass by. Windows down.
Music blasting.
The problem is when I don’t
know where that destination is.
I’m going fast, but I don’t even
know where I’m going.
Looking back, it feels like life
went by fast even though I’m
still only 18. I remember when I
got stitches on my lip and chin
like it was just last week even
though it was 11 years ago. I can
still vividly picture the moment
I got disqualified at a swim meet
because I didn’t flip-turn correctly
and lost the first place title even
though it happened when I was 12.
The
same
is
true
when
thinking about what I wanted to
be. Growing up, my dream job
changed at the same speed that I
hit snooze when I hear my alarm
blare: fast. I would want to be a
teacher one week, a chef the next.
The possibilities were endless,
but at the same time, these
possibilities weren’t promised.
This wasn’t Aladdin. There’s no
Genie that grants my wishes for
what the future holds. None of it is
for certain.
Not only does it feel like life is
moving fast, it feels like everything
is getting faster and faster. We can
look something up on Google and
get answers within seconds. We
order food and it comes to us in a
short amount of time.
But time itself is still staying the
same. There’s still 60 seconds to a
minute, 24 hours to a day.
The result: we, as a collective
society, are losing our ability to
slow down.
And I don’t mean this in terms
of driving speeds. I mean this in
the sense that many people chase
the adrenaline rush –– that blood
pumping feeling where, even
if just for a second, you can do
anything in the world. In school
we’re always go, go, go. At work
we’re always go, go, go. It’s hard
to take things at a slower pace as
the world becomes more work-
centric, so we feel that we have
to constantly be doing something
productive in order to be doing
something worthwhile.
But as a result, we miss out on
moments that happen in those
same milliseconds that we’re
speed-walking to class or stressed
out about an upcoming deadline.
In the example of driving a car,
some people choose to go 20 or
30 miles per hour past the speed
limit when there’s no other cars
around. But if you slow down, go
at the speed limit, you’ll see all
the things you were missing along
the way. You’ll see the children
playing together outside. You’ll
notice how the cloud twists and
turns into different shapes. You’ll
absorb the energy of the warm
sun as it starts to set while the sky
turns into hues of orange and pink.
So if you asked me now what I
want to be, I’ll tell you I want to
be a psychologist. But in my mind,
the sole thing that I really want
is to be content with myself and
the environment that I am in. It
may sound cliché, but I feel it’s a
thought that can resonate with
a lot of people, but it’s also not
something that I feel we take the
time to think about.
The future is so unpromised
I find it hard motivating myself
to continue pursuing a major.
It’s hard to decide what I want
to dedicate the rest of my life to
when I’m not even 20. If I could,
I would pack up my bags and live
in NYC or Seoul for a bit with no
exact plan in mind until I feel like
it’s time for the next destination.
If I could, I would live in the now
and not with my head calculating
the steps of my future.
Lately, I actively remind myself
to slow down. To take a break from
school when I can and dedicate
that time to activities that help
me enjoy life, even in a pandemic.
Whether that be going on a walk
with my family or looking out
the window when my parents are
driving instead of being consumed
by my phone, I think soaking in my
surroundings is just as fulfilling as
that adrenaline rush.
For now, I’ll be going cruising
through life at 20 mph towards an
unpromised future. And I’m okay
with that.
HANNAH NGUYEN
MiC Columnist