I sit at my grandma’s kitchen
table –– as I do every Sunday –– and
the routine is always the same. It’s
usually me, my brother, my dad and
my grandpa just sitting and talking,
waiting for our food to come. My
sister, however, is typically given the
task of fetching our drinks, silverware
and any other item necessary for our
traditional Mexican meal. As we sit
and wait, my grandma is scurrying
around the kitchen trying to handle
flipping tortillas, making guacamole,
cooking the carne and setting the
entire table. While these experiences
are not unique to my family, they
demonstrate the roles defined by
machismo.
Machismo is defined as “a strong
or exaggerated sense of manliness;
an assumptive attitude that virility,
courage, strength, and entitlement
to dominate are attributed or
concomitants
of
masculinity.”
Derived from the Spanish word
macho, this term too refers to the
ideal societal role men are expected
to play in their communities.
Though machismo is another word
synonymous
with
sexism
and
misogyny, it is also a strong and
commonly-held belief in Hispanic
communities that men are genuinely
superior to women for the benefit
of the family, work and society as
a whole. This “role” assumes that
the man is always seated at the
head of the table, both figuratively
and literally, to act as a protector
of the family and to demonstrate
dominance. On a societal level,
the role of the macho functions as
a collective group of dominating
men in all spheres of life –– from the
employment force to ruling political
and economic institutions. Being
macho is often framed as a good
thing; in having a man as the head of
the household, the power dynamic
supposedly secures the safety of
women and children from harm or
danger. But who is actually safe?
Machismo is often perpetuated
through the way Hispanic men raise
their children. In Hispanic cultures,
there is really only one right way to be
a man. You have to be a hard worker,
knowledgeable in “manly” things ––
from soccer and football to cars and
tools. You have to use your skills to
provide for your wife and kids. You
can never ask for help. You have to be
strong. You have to be a womanizer.
You have to conform to notions and
expectations of heteronormativity.
And you, of course, have to follow the
sexist gender norms that continue
long-standing
machismo
within
your family. Growing up as a kid
and now an individual who does not
identify as “macho” came with years
of insecurity and wishing I was like
others –– the more masculine men in
my family and Hispanic communities.
I remember watching my cousins
play soccer, video games and enjoy
learning about cars while I was more
interested in reading about the world’s
tallest skyscrapers and staying inside.
It is no surprise that falling short of
these expectations resulted in years
of ridicule, shame and embarrassment
from my male family members and
other “macho” men in Hispanic
communities. Whenever I compared
myself to other Hispanic men who
appeared to be more masculine
than me, I always felt alienated and
constantly feared further rejection
from my family. Not only does this
way of upbringing affect the mental
health of Hispanic adolescents, it has
also been associated with increased
domestic and sexual violence. When
social dynamics like machismo incite
distress and violence, rather than
protection and stability, they must be
dismantled.
Machismo has forced hundreds
of
generations
of
women
to
endure
destructive
masculinity.
Domestically, many Hispanic women
are assigned to the role of being the
family’s homemaker before they are
even born. A “macho” man would
be shamed by his peers if he were to
assume stereotypically female gender
roles such as childcare, cooking and
cleaning. These perceptions force
millions of women with desires for
careers outside of the home to be
confined to a role that they do not
necessarily desire, being told that this
is the only place that they can provide
value. Though women can aspire
to be homemakers, they deserve
the liberty to make this choice, free
from cultural expectations. At such
a young age, many Hispanic women
are taught where they fall in the
machismo ideology through learning
the importance of household chores
and domestic labor that only they
must partake in. In my home, my sister
and mother would wash the dishes
and clean the house. Meanwhile
me, my dad and my brother were
assigned to landscaping and taking
the
garbage
out.
These
early
manifestations are implemented so
that young girls are aware of their
“purpose” within society and the
family, thus silencing women and
forcing them to forego many of their
aspirations. Marianismo is the term
that reflects these early teachings.
Similar to machismo, marianismo
refers to the ideal role women play
at home and in a machismo society.
Rooted in Christianity, marianismo is
a direct consequence of the Hispanic
patriarchal society and describes
a woman as one who should be
pure, pious and self-sacrificing ––
attributes that best benefit the family
and husband over herself. Due to
the harmful presence men have had
on Hispanic women for hundreds
of years, it has upheld the social
construct of marianismo, which
further maintains machismo.
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
Michigan in Color
Wednesday, March 24, 2021 — 7
YOUR WEEKLY
ARIES
Enlist the support of friends,
colleagues and your community to
turn the impossible into
something very doable after all.
AQUARIUS
GEMINI
Travel opens your eyes to new
ways of life and new knowledge –
and if you allow it to, this could
positively impact your career too.
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
SCORPIO
CANCER
Energies this week allow for a lot
of self-development and personal
growth. Don’t be afraid to go
against the flow.
TAURUS
Does your career align with your
values? Does it fulfill you
spiritually? If not, this is the week
to figure out why not
VIRGO
PISCES
LIBRA
LEO
What a beautiful week for
working with your partner on a
project close to both of your
hearts. Think big, and watch the
obstacles fall away.
Read your weekly horoscopes from astrology.tv
Romance and idealism join forces
this week, but first, you must take
care of the practical, day-to-day
details of life.
Finding a higher purpose in even
the most boring of tasks awakens
your gratitude muscle this week,
enabling you to find happiness in
routine.
Creative communication will open
doors and solve problems this
week, especially on a family
matter.
Someone in the family may not be
telling the whole truth – but why?
Find out gently, with compassion
and a good dose of humor.
Clear communication is essential
in order to avoid misunderstand-
ings this week. Strive for clarity
above all else.
our values are starting to align
more closely with your beliefs,
making it easier this week for you
to walk the walk.
Come out of the shadows and
stand tall in your own identity,
free from worry and anxiety about
who you truly are.
WHISPER
“The times they are
a-changin’”
“Spidey, spidey, spidey.”
“This week on...”
Let’s talk about hip-hop
We know the drill. Oh, you listen to
rap? Name every rapper, ever. Know
your lyrics and know your artists, or
you are a fake fan. Never mind the fact
that the self-righteous Brown boy that
demanded you prove yourself derives
his entire personhood from a genre of
art that he blithely hyper-consumes
for clout. And this popularity contest
of who engages best with the newest
trends in music, footwear and fashion
is at the forefront of a majority of the
hip hop consumer discourse today, in
classic appropriation of Black culture.
But hip hop encompasses an entire
cultural movement that expresses
people’s lived and political experiences
across a variety of different art forms,
from street art and fashion to music,
dance and MCing. The musical style
influences much of our mainstream
media, popular culture and trends
which are superficially consumed
without a second thought.
On March 11, TedXUofM hosted
the “Conversations in hip hop” winter
salon, which gave me a chance to
consider my own (often mindless)
consumption of rap music and
appreciate the larger culture, history
and breadth behind the genre of
art. I was fascinated and inspired
by the insight and wisdom of the
panel of speakers including Kwasi
Ampene, University of Michigan
professor, author, filmmaker and
ethnomusicologist; Elisandra Rosario,
dancer, DJ, activist and filmmaker;
Paul (Fifty) Johnson, graffiti and
multidisciplinary artist; and Tonie
Arcon, Business senior and a musician.
The panelists spoke about their
first experiences with hip hop from
The Sugarhill Gang’s quintessential
“Rapper’s Delight” to Missy Elliott,
Biggie Smalls and Tupac playing on
the radio. In conversation with each
other, they agreed on the curation of
community and empowerment hip
hop offers to those who engage with
it. Arcon confessed that much of the
foundation of his relationships with
his roommates and his friends has
been rooted in hip hop.
“(It) brings people together … I
think hip hop has that kind of effect,”
Arcon said.
Ampene spoke to the manifestation
of this solidarity, discussing a brief
history of West African hip hop and
its function as a platform for the youth
to speak on ongoing socio-political
issues. “My journey (with hip hop)
starts across the ocean,” he said.
While we often associate the
earliest traction of the movement to
the Bronx, N.Y., Ampene discussed
the long tradition of hip hop in West
Africa
through
interconnected
spiritual
customs.
According
to
Ampene, in West Africa, the hip
hop movement was a form of public
transcript and socially conscious
dialogue, empowering the youth with
a platform and empowering entire
communities with its sacred roots in
religion and gospel.
He attributed the gap in historical
knowledge about hip hop to the
Westernized erasure of African hip
hop tradition, demonstrated by the
modern manifestation of hip hop in
the United States through certain
practices of consumption.
This resonated with me, as I thought
about the modern-day hip hop that
I know well compared to its African
spiritual roots that I hadn’t previously
considered. To me, while much of
production and creation of the art of
hip hop itself encompasses its own set
of Western social interpretations and
ideals drawing from tradition, history
and lived experience, the almost
robotic Westernized perspective of
some modern-day consumer practices
focuses specifically on the American
Dream as the human ideal, singularly
fixating the narrative of hip hop on
music about possession of money and
hypersexualization of women alone.
EASHETA SHAH
MiC Columnist
An ode
to the
women
in my
life
I wanted to take the time to give
thanks to the women I hold closest
to me while we are still celebrating
Women’s History Month. When I think
about the women who have shaped me
into the person I am today, my mind
immediately takes me to my mother
and two older sisters, who, in their own
ways, have served as catalysts for my
own personal growth.
I commend my older sister, Uche, who
carries herself as a free spirit, existing
far beyond the confines of societal
expectations. She pushes me to speak up
even when I can’t seem to find the will
to. She inspires me to reject the arbitrary
social standards put upon me and live
life by my own terms. She can always
find a way to both clown me and shower
me with praise in the same breath. She
emboldens me to take no nonsense from
anyone who chooses to treat me with
disrespect. She is my unstoppable sister,
a woman who fearlessly fights for me
when I feel too weak to do so myself.
I appreciate my eldest sister, Kelechi,
who possesses the utmost level of poise
and composure. She has pulled me out
of sticky situations far more times than
I can count. She fiercely protects her
younger sisters and brother no matter
the circumstances. She can make
any problem seem manageable after
offering a nugget of her wisdom to me.
I can always count on her for a warm,
home-cooked meal whenever I return
home from school. She rolls her eyes at
my idealistic antics yet still encourages
me to pursue my creative endeavors.
She grounds me with common sense,
reminding me to take things one step at
a time whenever I feel overwhelmed by
the weight of my responsibilities.
And I give the utmost thanks to my
mother –– my guide and my rock. My
mother, who always challenges me to
be the very best version of myself. She
reminds me of my capabilities whenever
my feelings of imposter syndrome are
particularly amplified. She teases me
for flinching whenever she cornrows
my hair, taming my kinky strands. She
won’t hesitate to check on me whenever
I’m not acting like my usual self. She
maintains a rigid moral compass, only
acting with truth and honesty. Her love
for me maintains a certain constant in
my life. My beautiful mother, who is akin
to a superwoman, is able to conquer any
and every curveball thrown her way.
Words can only begin to describe the
gratitude I have for these three women.
Here’s to the resilient women in our
lives; may we love them, cherish them
and reflect their strength in everything
we do.
UDOKA NWANSI
MiC Columnist
Design by Janice Lin
Machismo culture must go
HUGO QUINTANA
MiC Columnist
The dilemma of an over-apologizer
Even when no one’s around, I
mumble a sorry when I crash into the
furniture. I say sorry when I ask my
sister to buy Chick-fil-A on a Sunday.
I write sorry as my final answer on
my math homework. I say sorry when
my friends say to stop apologizing so
often. I am a chronic over-apologizer.
To say sorry insinuates an apology,
which is defined as an admission
of error or regret. Simply put, when
someone does something “wrong,”
they would apologize with sorry. But
what determines wrong? We all make
mistakes. From the meanest to the
sweetest person you know, they mess
up at one point or another. There’s a
wide range of mistakes we make as
people because of things like natural
forgetfulness or simply messing
up because of circumstance. The
important distinction is the impact
of our errors and whether or not they
affect others (like how missing an
assignment only really affects me,
but failing to complete my part of a
group project hurts everyone else’s
outcome).
In group settings, the impact of
one’s mistakes can cause arguments,
misunderstandings
or
further
complications. And when one realizes
they are in the wrong, it is natural to
feel guilt. I understand apologies,
and, by extension, “sorry,” as a way
of expressing feelings of guilt. In that
same manner, it should not be easy
to say sorry; I don’t believe a lot of
people enjoy admitting their mistakes.
People still say sorry, however, in
hopes of reconciling any issues
between themselves and others. It is a
fundamental form of communication.
Yet I say sorry when there’s
no need. I blurt out the word as a
common courtesy in my texts and
emails. I say sorry after my mom helps
me find my glasses. I write out sorry
on Piazza before asking my question
because I am worried it is a dumb
one. I admit there are times I say sorry
out of politeness or habit, rather than
actually meaning it. That’s the worst
thing I can do. In saying it so often,
and equating all of my mistakes to
the same single “sorry,” my apologies
become less and less effective.
Don’t get me wrong, when I say
sorry in more serious contexts, I
do genuinely mean it and hope that
sincerity is clear in my apologies. It is
still a valid way for me to acknowledge
my mistakes and express my sorrow
towards others. The real issue with
over-apologizing is how I perceive
“sorry” in other contexts. I fail to see
sincerity in the apologies I receive
because I am used to throwing it
around left and right. It has made
it difficult for me to accept the
significance behind an apology,
because I’ll always question if they
are an over-apologizer too. I can’t
help but wonder if they truly feel sorry
and are admitting to their mistakes
or are simply saying because it is just
“the right thing to say’’ –– just as I do
sometimes.
This reminds of a few weeks ago
when I got a text saying “I am truly
sorry” from an old friend. Even
though he had apologized and I knew
him to use “sorry” sparingly, I was
still debating the genuineness of his
apology. It might have had to do with
how it was a two-year late apology
and over text. Or the fact that his next
few texts focus on how great of a show
“Euphoria” is. It bothered me how it
probably took him a second to type
out the word “sorry.” His keyboard
may have even automated the apology.
Altogether, the word “sorry” didn’t feel
sufficient enough to me. His apology
might have been genuine, but I could
not accept it, let alone believe in it.
But, what exactly could he have
said or done to make a more genuine,
better apology? There are not that
many substitutes for “sorry” in the
English language. He could have said
“my bad” or “my fault,” but I would
not have appreciated those phrases
any more than the literal word “sorry”
— in fact those other phrases would
have made me feel worse. There’s
other extra things people can add to
their apologies, including adverbs or
a full outlining of what they are sorry
for, but the key word of an apology
is “sorry.” It is the most basic way to
summarize deep regret or guilt about
one’s actions.
ZAFIRAH RAHMAN
MiC Columnist
Design by Janice Lin
Read more at
MichiganDaily.com
Read more at
MichiganDaily.com
Read more at
MichiganDaily.com