Wednesday, November 18, 2020 — 7 The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com Michigan in Color My friend Grace and I arrange ourselves around her kitchen table after deciding to play a board game to pass time during another murky day in quarantine. I sit idly by as she distributes colorful paper money while her broth- ers argue over who gets to play as the top hat. Before I know it, the board is set up, cards neatly stacked and all. Grace looks up and nonverbally ushers me to begin when a pretty impor- tant fact dawns on me: I have no idea how to play Monopoly. I confess this to Grace, and as I anticipate, I am met with com- plete shock. “How could you not know how to play Monopo- ly? Literally everybody knows, it’s like American common knowledge.” Despite both of us sharing our Middle Eastern heritage — and even a name — our “common American knowl- edge” couldn’t have been more different for one reason: My parents are immigrants, and hers aren’t. Her dad taught her how to play Monopoly while mine was learning English. Things like this happen quite often in my daily life. Whether it’s not being able to recognize a Beatles song from the first few chords, missing a reference from a classic movie like “The Sound of Music” or showing up to a friend’s graduation party and not being able to recognize a game of cornhole, my experi- ence as an American is atypical from a traditional one. Being raised by two immigrants has enhanced my life in indescrib- able ways, and I’ve been lucky enough to grow up in an envi- ronment with a unique cultural duality that most of my friends didn’t get. However, this has caused a disconnect between myself and my peers whose parents were also raised in the United States. Even though, in one way or another, many immigrants have been “Ameri- canized” throughout their time in this country, they often relay the experiences of their upbringings onto their chil- dren, resulting in an altered American experience. Logical- ly, I know that my friends aren’t more American than I am — we were all born in the United States and have lived here for nearly the same amount of time; yet, I often find myself suffering from imposter syn- drome, shrouded in feelings of shame for not being more con- nected with American culture. The normalization of the sec- ond-generation and beyond’s American experience has made it increasingly difficult for first-generation Americans to feel the same level of comfort in the United States. In fact, much of the normalized American experience belongs to white Americans. Stereotypical American culture encompass- es baseball games, hot dogs, Disney World, denim jackets and country music. However, much of what we associate with being “American” is really just being a white American, or at least being raised by other “Americans.” Since moving to Ann Arbor, I’ve found that I’m not as independent as my older friends’ experiences made me think I would be. For them, moving out of the house and onto campus meant that they could let go of past inhibitions and fulfill their wildest col- lege desires. In fact, their par- ents encouraged this behavior. After talking with many of my white friends, I’ve found that their parents’ expectations of college behavior were vastly different from those of my parents. During their good- byes before officially moving into their dorms, their parents sent them off with fake IDs and birth control, while mine eerily left me with the mantra “remember your values” before returning home. Even though I technically could engage in whichever behaviors I want behind my parents’ back, I’ll never be independent from my culture and the expectations that come with being part of it. Despite the fact that I don’t necessarily believe that certain actions are morally corrupt, I’m constrained by feelings of guilt and the fear of deteriorat- ing my family name. Though I am the youngest of my siblings, I’m the first to go to a four-year university directly after high school and live outside of our home as a teenager. Part of me wants to be the cool, carefree and reckless Big Ten college student that the movies roman- ticize. Yet, I face constant trepidation and am internally bound by the moral and cul- tural obligations that dictate nearly every decision I make. Transitioning from high school to college life is tumultuous in itself, and for second-genera- tion immigrants, this anxiety can be tremendously bolstered. We need to expand the meaning of what it means to be American in order to keep up with the inclusivity that modernity requires. If we really want to call ourselves a “melting pot,” we need to rec- ognize the nuanced environ- ments and circumstances in which each of us were raised. Nobody should feel less Ameri- can than someone else because their background doesn’t fit America’s cookie-cutter expectations. The notion of white picket fences and a cute little golden retriever on the front lawn doesn’t accurately encompass Americanness. To be American means that despite ethnic background, we share a national ethos separate from politicized ideologies — we believe in new beginnings, compassion and dedication. Not surprisingly, this is exactly what immigration represents too. The United States is more racially and ethnically diverse than it has ever been previ- ously, and our interpretation of what it means to be Ameri- can must follow suit. My par- ents may not have ever taught me how to play Monopoly, but they’ve given me the oppor- tunity to be their American Dream. For that, I will forever be grateful. No, homosexuality is not ruining the ‘Black family unit’ YOUR WEEKLY ARIES Slow things down in your love life and focus on old fashioned dating, sensuality, courtesy and romance, Aries. This is a week for exploring passion and desire but keep an eye out for jealousy and obsession too. Check your motives in love. AQUARIUS GEMINI Expect to feel slightly lazy and physically run down this week, Gemini. You’re probably not getting enough sleep and you might be enjoying a bit too much in the way of food or drink. Lethargy can be countered with plenty of fresh air. SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN SCORPIO CANCER You’ll be feeling fun and flirty this week, Cancer, which is good news for your love life but not necessarily such great news if you have a lot of work on. Don’t dodge your career responsibilities – delegating to someone else is not an ideal solution. TAURUS Venus sweeps into your romance zone this week, Taurus, so whatever else happens you’re likely to at least find peace and comfort in the arms of your lover. Your calm and measured approach to life works well in all kinds of interpersonal communica- tion. VIRGO PISCES LIBRA LEO Hold on to those good vibes for as long as you can because your luck could turn sour when Venus in Libra squares Saturn in Capricorn on Thursday. Your sunny streak is suddenly covered by dark clouds. Expect some disappointments or losses. Read your weekly horoscopes from astrology.tv Your persuasive skills are off the chart this week, Virgo, which is excellent news if you work in sales, marketing, politics or any other field where you need to get people on board. In your personal life, however, sincerity matters more than sweet words. There’s a strong urge to spend this week as you’re drawn to luxury and to items you can’t really afford, Libra. Try to reign in the spending. Venus brings you good financial news, but the sensible thing to do is to wait and see before squander- ing your cash. With Venus arriving in your sign, your personal magnetism is soaring – if you’re looking for love, Scorpio, you may have to fend off admirers! However, at work, not everyone is impressed with your charms. It’s important to put in some hard work. Your imagination is one of your strong points this week, so this is a very good time for writers, artists, poets and dreamers of all kinds. Your manifestation skills are growing, Sagittarius, so look into what more you can do to create the kind of life you want. Look for new friendships this week, Capricorn, as Venus moves into your social zone and helps you find your tribe. If you’re looking for love, don’t be too hasty to dismiss someone as being not your ‘type’ – keep an open mind! You’re feeling unusually ambitious but ask yourself what your true goals are. Much more materialistically motivated than normal, Aquarius, you may make decisions you normally wouldn’t have, based purely on money. Is that where you want to head? Surround yourself with new people or visit new places in an effort to curb a somewhat restless vibe this week, Pisces. If you’re forced to stick with the same old, same old, at least try to vary your daily routine and enjoy some spontaneity. WHISPER “Distance makes the heart grow fonder? Right??” “There are too many bagels in my kitchen.” “I am allergic to cats. I want one more than anything.” This Halloween, the rapper Lil Nas X paid tribute to his idol, Nicki Minaj, by donning her iconic look from her 2010 music video for ‘Super Bass.’ Among the Twitter replies and Instagram comments filled with compliments from fans and people in the enter- tainment industry Doja Cat, Tierra Whack and Lauren Jau- regui, Lil Nas X has received a lot of homophobic pushback. While many of the homo- phobic tweets have now been reported and deleted, I noticed a specific trend among them. Some claimed they weren’t being homophobic but were worried about how Lil Nas X’s actions could affect the young Black children who look up to him. This is because his song, ‘Old Town Road’, was very popular among kids across the country and he even visited some elementary schools to perform. But why should any of this matter? The fears that queer repre- sentation in the entertainment industry will ‘make kids want to be gay’ is unfounded and, yes, homophobic because there is absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal with homosexuality or any sexuality. Heterosex- ism is so ingrained in our cul- ture that it is not questioned or seen as an avenue to sexu- alize children. Telling a male child that he’ll grow up to be a ‘womanizer’ is seen as a funny joke but anything outside of the norm, such as wearing makeup or dresses, is sudden- ly sexualized and bad for chil- dren to experience. Children should be allowed to try out new things and be themselves without adults connecting them to sexuality. The backlash that Lil Nas X and other queer Black folks face is hypocritical as well. In an entertainment industry where many people believe that Black men can only gain success by wearing a dress, we have to think critically about why drag or cross-dressing is humorous for heterosexual Black men but not appropriate for queer Black men. Why are Tyler Perry, Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence able to gain success for their cross-dressing performances that degrade and make fun of fat Black women, but when Lil Nas X pays tribute to a successful Black woman it’s a problem? It further ties into deeply rooted sexism towards Black women. They can be seen as objects to mock by straight Black men but not icons to praise by gay Black men. This entire argument is a cover to oppress LGBTQ+ peo- ple and it stems from patriar- chal and white supremacist ideologies. To have a mean- ingful conversation about why homophobia is present in Black communities, we need to understand where the domi- nant idea of masculinity stems from. Some people link homo- sexuality to the emasculation of Black men in America as a larger goal of white America to ruin the Black family and therefore the Black race. There are multiple reasons why this argument doesn’t hold up. Being gay does not mean you cannot be a sup- portive and loving parent and being straight does not mean that you will automatically be a good parent either. Sexuality does not matter, how you treat your children matters. On top of that, we cannot downplay the role of government poli- cies that have harmed Black families such as a criminal justice system where Black men are disproportionately represented and violent eco- nomic disparities. I don’t believe any amount of individ- ual or behavioral change can dismantle these oppressive policies that break up Black families. While I can’t pretend to know what it is like to be a Black man in America, I do know that the social norms we’ve been taught throughout our lives are not inherent, yet social constructions of race and gender result in very real- life experiences. The oppres- sion of Black queer folks from Black heterosexual men on the basis of ‘morals’ only furthers white supremacy. Patricia Hill Collins’ “Black Feminist Thought” urges us to reexamine how we think about masculinity and femininity in a white supremacist society that has done everything it can to create a false dichot- omy between Blackness and whiteness. If white heterosex- ual men have made themselves the standard to uphold, then anyone outside of those iden- tities must be ‘othered.’ Under this way of thinking, white is good, Black is bad. Men are strong, women are weak. Het- erosexuality is natural, homo- sexuality is deviant. The push from some Black people in the community to emulate what is seen as the ‘standard’ in the United States ultimately upholds patriarchal, white supremacist and homophobic ideologies that just aren’t true. Lil Nas X should not be responsible for teaching children ‘morals,’ and his queerness and their possible queerness should not be seen as negative or harmful. We cannot blame Black queer people for the disrespect that white people have always directed towards Black folks. We cannot blame them for the lack of accurate Black media representation or compare the stability of Black families to the existence of queer Black men. Homophobia is distract- ing us from the real reason why Black men aren’t treated the same as white men: sys- temic racism. CAMILLE MOORE MiC “Off the Record” Blogger Image from Lil Nas X’s twitter account I don’t know how to play Monopoly, and I’m not sorry about it Illustration by Mellisa Lee GRACE GARMO MiC Columnist