Wednesday, November 18, 2020 — 7
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
Michigan in Color
My
friend
Grace
and
I
arrange ourselves around her
kitchen table after deciding
to play a board game to pass
time during another murky
day in quarantine. I sit idly
by as she distributes colorful
paper money while her broth-
ers argue over who gets to play
as the top hat. Before I know it,
the board is set up, cards neatly
stacked and all. Grace looks
up and nonverbally ushers me
to begin when a pretty impor-
tant fact dawns on me: I have
no idea how to play Monopoly.
I confess this to Grace, and as I
anticipate, I am met with com-
plete shock. “How could you
not know how to play Monopo-
ly? Literally everybody knows,
it’s like American common
knowledge.” Despite both of
us sharing our Middle Eastern
heritage — and even a name —
our “common American knowl-
edge” couldn’t have been more
different for one reason: My
parents are immigrants, and
hers aren’t. Her dad taught her
how to play Monopoly while
mine was learning English.
Things like this happen quite
often in my daily life. Whether
it’s not being able to recognize
a Beatles song from the first
few chords, missing a reference
from a classic movie like “The
Sound of Music” or showing up
to a friend’s graduation party
and not being able to recognize
a game of cornhole, my experi-
ence as an American is atypical
from a traditional one. Being
raised by two immigrants has
enhanced my life in indescrib-
able ways, and I’ve been lucky
enough to grow up in an envi-
ronment with a unique cultural
duality that most of my friends
didn’t get. However, this has
caused a disconnect between
myself and my peers whose
parents were also raised in the
United States. Even though,
in one way or another, many
immigrants have been “Ameri-
canized”
throughout
their
time in this country, they often
relay the experiences of their
upbringings onto their chil-
dren, resulting in an altered
American experience. Logical-
ly, I know that my friends aren’t
more American than I am — we
were all born in the United
States and have lived here for
nearly the same amount of
time; yet, I often find myself
suffering from imposter syn-
drome, shrouded in feelings of
shame for not being more con-
nected with American culture.
The normalization of the sec-
ond-generation and beyond’s
American experience has made
it increasingly difficult for
first-generation Americans to
feel the same level of comfort in
the United States. In fact, much
of the normalized American
experience belongs to white
Americans.
Stereotypical
American culture encompass-
es baseball games, hot dogs,
Disney World, denim jackets
and country music. However,
much of what we associate
with being “American” is really
just being a white American, or
at least being raised by other
“Americans.” Since moving to
Ann Arbor, I’ve found that I’m
not as independent as my older
friends’ experiences made me
think I would be. For them,
moving out of the house and
onto campus meant that they
could let go of past inhibitions
and fulfill their wildest col-
lege desires. In fact, their par-
ents encouraged this behavior.
After talking with many of my
white friends, I’ve found that
their parents’ expectations of
college behavior were vastly
different from those of my
parents. During their good-
byes before officially moving
into their dorms, their parents
sent them off with fake IDs
and birth control, while mine
eerily left me with the mantra
“remember your values” before
returning home. Even though
I technically could engage in
whichever behaviors I want
behind my parents’ back, I’ll
never be independent from my
culture and the expectations
that come with being part of
it. Despite the fact that I don’t
necessarily believe that certain
actions are morally corrupt,
I’m constrained by feelings of
guilt and the fear of deteriorat-
ing my family name. Though I
am the youngest of my siblings,
I’m the first to go to a four-year
university directly after high
school and live outside of our
home as a teenager. Part of me
wants to be the cool, carefree
and reckless Big Ten college
student that the movies roman-
ticize. Yet, I face constant
trepidation and am internally
bound by the moral and cul-
tural obligations that dictate
nearly every decision I make.
Transitioning from high school
to college life is tumultuous in
itself, and for second-genera-
tion immigrants, this anxiety
can be tremendously bolstered.
We need to expand the
meaning of what it means to
be American in order to keep
up with the inclusivity that
modernity
requires.
If
we
really want to call ourselves a
“melting pot,” we need to rec-
ognize the nuanced environ-
ments and circumstances in
which each of us were raised.
Nobody should feel less Ameri-
can than someone else because
their
background
doesn’t
fit
America’s
cookie-cutter
expectations. The notion of
white picket fences and a cute
little golden retriever on the
front lawn doesn’t accurately
encompass
Americanness.
To be American means that
despite ethnic background, we
share a national ethos separate
from politicized ideologies —
we believe in new beginnings,
compassion
and
dedication.
Not surprisingly, this is exactly
what immigration represents
too. The United States is more
racially and ethnically diverse
than it has ever been previ-
ously, and our interpretation
of what it means to be Ameri-
can must follow suit. My par-
ents may not have ever taught
me how to play Monopoly, but
they’ve given me the oppor-
tunity to be their American
Dream. For that, I will forever
be grateful.
No, homosexuality
is not ruining the
‘Black family unit’
YOUR WEEKLY
ARIES
Slow things down in your love life and
focus on old fashioned dating,
sensuality, courtesy and romance,
Aries. This is a week for exploring
passion and desire but keep an eye
out for jealousy and
obsession too. Check
your motives in love.
AQUARIUS
GEMINI
Expect to feel slightly lazy and
physically run down this week,
Gemini. You’re probably not getting
enough sleep and you might be
enjoying a bit too much in the way of
food or drink. Lethargy can be
countered with plenty of
fresh air.
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
SCORPIO
CANCER
You’ll be feeling fun and flirty this
week, Cancer, which is good news for
your love life but not necessarily such
great news if you have a lot of work
on. Don’t dodge your career
responsibilities – delegating to
someone else is not an
ideal solution.
TAURUS
Venus sweeps into your romance zone
this week, Taurus, so whatever else
happens you’re likely to at least find
peace and comfort in the arms of your
lover. Your calm and measured
approach to life works
well in all kinds of
interpersonal communica-
tion.
VIRGO
PISCES
LIBRA
LEO
Hold on to those good vibes for as
long as you can because your luck
could turn sour when Venus in Libra
squares Saturn in Capricorn on
Thursday. Your sunny streak is
suddenly covered by dark
clouds. Expect some
disappointments or
losses.
Read your weekly horoscopes from astrology.tv
Your persuasive skills are off the chart
this week, Virgo, which is excellent
news if you work in sales, marketing,
politics or any other field where you
need to get people on board. In your
personal life, however,
sincerity matters more
than sweet words.
There’s a strong urge to spend this
week as you’re drawn to luxury and to
items you can’t really afford, Libra. Try
to reign in the spending. Venus brings
you good financial news, but the
sensible thing to do is to wait
and see before squander-
ing your cash.
With Venus arriving in your sign, your
personal magnetism is soaring – if
you’re looking for love, Scorpio, you
may have to fend off admirers!
However, at work, not everyone is
impressed with your charms.
It’s important to put in some
hard work.
Your imagination is one of your
strong points this week, so this is a
very good time for writers, artists,
poets and dreamers of all kinds. Your
manifestation skills are growing,
Sagittarius, so look into
what more you can do to
create the kind of life
you want.
Look for new friendships this week,
Capricorn, as Venus moves into your
social zone and helps you find your
tribe. If you’re looking for love, don’t
be too hasty to dismiss someone as
being not your ‘type’ – keep
an open mind!
You’re feeling unusually ambitious but
ask yourself what your true goals are.
Much more materialistically motivated
than normal, Aquarius, you may make
decisions you normally wouldn’t have,
based purely on money. Is that where
you want to head?
Surround yourself with new people or
visit new places in an effort to curb a
somewhat restless vibe this week,
Pisces. If you’re forced to stick with
the same old, same old, at least try to
vary your daily routine and enjoy
some spontaneity.
WHISPER
“Distance makes the heart
grow fonder? Right??”
“There are too many bagels in
my kitchen.”
“I am allergic to cats. I want
one more than anything.”
This Halloween, the rapper
Lil Nas X paid tribute to his
idol, Nicki Minaj, by donning
her iconic look from her 2010
music video for ‘Super Bass.’
Among the Twitter replies
and
Instagram
comments
filled with compliments from
fans and people in the enter-
tainment industry Doja Cat,
Tierra Whack and Lauren Jau-
regui, Lil Nas X has received a
lot of homophobic pushback.
While many of the homo-
phobic tweets have now been
reported and deleted, I noticed
a specific trend among them.
Some claimed they weren’t
being homophobic but were
worried about how Lil Nas X’s
actions could affect the young
Black children who look up to
him. This is because his song,
‘Old Town Road’, was very
popular among kids across the
country and he even visited
some elementary schools to
perform. But why should any
of this matter?
The fears that queer repre-
sentation in the entertainment
industry will ‘make kids want
to be gay’ is unfounded and,
yes, homophobic because there
is absolutely nothing wrong or
abnormal with homosexuality
or any sexuality. Heterosex-
ism is so ingrained in our cul-
ture that it is not questioned
or seen as an avenue to sexu-
alize children. Telling a male
child that he’ll grow up to be a
‘womanizer’ is seen as a funny
joke but anything outside of
the norm, such as wearing
makeup or dresses, is sudden-
ly sexualized and bad for chil-
dren to experience. Children
should be allowed to try out
new things and be themselves
without
adults
connecting
them to sexuality.
The backlash that Lil Nas
X and other queer Black folks
face is hypocritical as well.
In an entertainment industry
where many people believe
that Black men can only gain
success by wearing a dress, we
have to think critically about
why drag or cross-dressing is
humorous for heterosexual
Black men but not appropriate
for queer Black men.
Why are Tyler Perry, Eddie
Murphy and Martin Lawrence
able to gain success for their
cross-dressing performances
that degrade and make fun of
fat Black women, but when
Lil Nas X pays tribute to a
successful Black woman it’s a
problem? It further ties into
deeply rooted sexism towards
Black women. They can be
seen as objects to mock by
straight Black men but not
icons to praise by gay Black
men.
This entire argument is a
cover to oppress LGBTQ+ peo-
ple and it stems from patriar-
chal and white supremacist
ideologies. To have a mean-
ingful
conversation
about
why homophobia is present in
Black communities, we need to
understand where the domi-
nant idea of masculinity stems
from. Some people link homo-
sexuality to the emasculation
of Black men in America as a
larger goal of white America
to ruin the Black family and
therefore the Black race.
There are multiple reasons
why this argument doesn’t
hold up. Being gay does not
mean you cannot be a sup-
portive and loving parent and
being straight does not mean
that you will automatically be
a good parent either. Sexuality
does not matter, how you treat
your children matters. On top
of that, we cannot downplay
the role of government poli-
cies that have harmed Black
families such as a criminal
justice system where Black
men are disproportionately
represented and violent eco-
nomic
disparities.
I
don’t
believe any amount of individ-
ual or behavioral change can
dismantle
these
oppressive
policies that break up Black
families.
While I can’t pretend to
know what it is like to be a
Black man in America, I do
know that the social norms
we’ve been taught throughout
our lives are not inherent, yet
social constructions of race
and gender result in very real-
life experiences. The oppres-
sion of Black queer folks from
Black heterosexual men on the
basis of ‘morals’ only furthers
white supremacy.
Patricia Hill Collins’ “Black
Feminist Thought” urges us to
reexamine how we think about
masculinity and femininity in
a white supremacist society
that has done everything it
can to create a false dichot-
omy between Blackness and
whiteness. If white heterosex-
ual men have made themselves
the standard to uphold, then
anyone outside of those iden-
tities must be ‘othered.’ Under
this way of thinking, white is
good, Black is bad. Men are
strong, women are weak. Het-
erosexuality is natural, homo-
sexuality is deviant. The push
from some Black people in the
community to emulate what
is seen as the ‘standard’ in
the United States ultimately
upholds
patriarchal,
white
supremacist and homophobic
ideologies that just aren’t true.
Lil Nas X should not be
responsible
for
teaching
children
‘morals,’
and
his
queerness and their possible
queerness should not be seen
as negative or harmful. We
cannot blame Black queer
people for the disrespect that
white people have always
directed towards Black folks.
We cannot blame them for the
lack of accurate Black media
representation or compare the
stability of Black families to
the existence of queer Black
men. Homophobia is distract-
ing us from the real reason
why Black men aren’t treated
the same as white men: sys-
temic racism.
CAMILLE MOORE
MiC “Off the Record” Blogger
Image from Lil Nas X’s twitter account
I don’t know how to play Monopoly,
and I’m not sorry about it
Illustration by Mellisa Lee
GRACE GARMO
MiC Columnist