Wednesday, November 18, 2020 — 7
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
Michigan in Color

My 
friend 
Grace 
and 
I 

arrange ourselves around her 
kitchen table after deciding 
to play a board game to pass 
time during another murky 
day in quarantine. I sit idly 
by as she distributes colorful 
paper money while her broth-
ers argue over who gets to play 
as the top hat. Before I know it, 
the board is set up, cards neatly 
stacked and all. Grace looks 
up and nonverbally ushers me 
to begin when a pretty impor-
tant fact dawns on me: I have 
no idea how to play Monopoly. 
I confess this to Grace, and as I 
anticipate, I am met with com-
plete shock. “How could you 
not know how to play Monopo-
ly? Literally everybody knows, 
it’s like American common 
knowledge.” Despite both of 
us sharing our Middle Eastern 
heritage — and even a name — 
our “common American knowl-
edge” couldn’t have been more 
different for one reason: My 
parents are immigrants, and 
hers aren’t. Her dad taught her 
how to play Monopoly while 
mine was learning English.

Things like this happen quite 

often in my daily life. Whether 
it’s not being able to recognize 
a Beatles song from the first 
few chords, missing a reference 
from a classic movie like “The 
Sound of Music” or showing up 
to a friend’s graduation party 
and not being able to recognize 
a game of cornhole, my experi-
ence as an American is atypical 
from a traditional one. Being 
raised by two immigrants has 
enhanced my life in indescrib-
able ways, and I’ve been lucky 
enough to grow up in an envi-
ronment with a unique cultural 
duality that most of my friends 
didn’t get. However, this has 
caused a disconnect between 
myself and my peers whose 
parents were also raised in the 
United States. Even though, 
in one way or another, many 
immigrants have been “Ameri-
canized” 
throughout 
their 

time in this country, they often 
relay the experiences of their 
upbringings onto their chil-

dren, resulting in an altered 
American experience. Logical-
ly, I know that my friends aren’t 
more American than I am — we 
were all born in the United 
States and have lived here for 
nearly the same amount of 
time; yet, I often find myself 
suffering from imposter syn-
drome, shrouded in feelings of 
shame for not being more con-
nected with American culture. 

The normalization of the sec-

ond-generation and beyond’s 
American experience has made 
it increasingly difficult for 
first-generation Americans to 
feel the same level of comfort in 
the United States. In fact, much 
of the normalized American 
experience belongs to white 
Americans. 
Stereotypical 

American culture encompass-
es baseball games, hot dogs, 
Disney World, denim jackets 
and country music. However, 
much of what we associate 
with being “American” is really 
just being a white American, or 
at least being raised by other 
“Americans.” Since moving to 
Ann Arbor, I’ve found that I’m 
not as independent as my older 
friends’ experiences made me 
think I would be. For them, 
moving out of the house and 
onto campus meant that they 
could let go of past inhibitions 
and fulfill their wildest col-
lege desires. In fact, their par-
ents encouraged this behavior. 
After talking with many of my 
white friends, I’ve found that 
their parents’ expectations of 
college behavior were vastly 
different from those of my 
parents. During their good-
byes before officially moving 
into their dorms, their parents 
sent them off with fake IDs 
and birth control, while mine 
eerily left me with the mantra 
“remember your values” before 
returning home. Even though 
I technically could engage in 
whichever behaviors I want 
behind my parents’ back, I’ll 
never be independent from my 
culture and the expectations 
that come with being part of 
it. Despite the fact that I don’t 
necessarily believe that certain 
actions are morally corrupt, 
I’m constrained by feelings of 
guilt and the fear of deteriorat-

ing my family name. Though I 
am the youngest of my siblings, 
I’m the first to go to a four-year 
university directly after high 
school and live outside of our 
home as a teenager. Part of me 
wants to be the cool, carefree 
and reckless Big Ten college 
student that the movies roman-
ticize. Yet, I face constant 
trepidation and am internally 
bound by the moral and cul-
tural obligations that dictate 
nearly every decision I make. 
Transitioning from high school 
to college life is tumultuous in 
itself, and for second-genera-
tion immigrants, this anxiety 
can be tremendously bolstered.

We need to expand the 

meaning of what it means to 
be American in order to keep 
up with the inclusivity that 
modernity 
requires. 
If 
we 

really want to call ourselves a 
“melting pot,” we need to rec-
ognize the nuanced environ-
ments and circumstances in 
which each of us were raised. 

Nobody should feel less Ameri-
can than someone else because 
their 
background 
doesn’t 

fit 
America’s 
cookie-cutter 

expectations. The notion of 
white picket fences and a cute 
little golden retriever on the 
front lawn doesn’t accurately 
encompass 
Americanness. 

To be American means that 
despite ethnic background, we 
share a national ethos separate 
from politicized ideologies — 
we believe in new beginnings, 
compassion 
and 
dedication. 

Not surprisingly, this is exactly 
what immigration represents 
too. The United States is more 
racially and ethnically diverse 
than it has ever been previ-
ously, and our interpretation 
of what it means to be Ameri-
can must follow suit. My par-
ents may not have ever taught 
me how to play Monopoly, but 
they’ve given me the oppor-
tunity to be their American 
Dream. For that, I will forever 
be grateful.

No, homosexuality 
is not ruining the 
‘Black family unit’

YOUR WEEKLY

ARIES

Slow things down in your love life and 
focus on old fashioned dating, 
sensuality, courtesy and romance, 
Aries. This is a week for exploring 
passion and desire but keep an eye 

out for jealousy and 
obsession too. Check 
your motives in love.

AQUARIUS

GEMINI

Expect to feel slightly lazy and 
physically run down this week, 
Gemini. You’re probably not getting 
enough sleep and you might be 
enjoying a bit too much in the way of 
food or drink. Lethargy can be 

countered with plenty of 
fresh air.

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

SCORPIO

CANCER

You’ll be feeling fun and flirty this 
week, Cancer, which is good news for 
your love life but not necessarily such 
great news if you have a lot of work 
on. Don’t dodge your career 

responsibilities – delegating to 

someone else is not an 
ideal solution.

TAURUS

Venus sweeps into your romance zone 
this week, Taurus, so whatever else 
happens you’re likely to at least find 
peace and comfort in the arms of your 
lover. Your calm and measured 

approach to life works 
well in all kinds of 
interpersonal communica-
tion.

VIRGO

PISCES

LIBRA
LEO

Hold on to those good vibes for as 
long as you can because your luck 
could turn sour when Venus in Libra 
squares Saturn in Capricorn on 
Thursday. Your sunny streak is 

suddenly covered by dark 
clouds. Expect some 
disappointments or 
losses.

Read your weekly horoscopes from astrology.tv

Your persuasive skills are off the chart 
this week, Virgo, which is excellent 
news if you work in sales, marketing, 
politics or any other field where you 
need to get people on board. In your 

personal life, however, 

sincerity matters more 
than sweet words.

There’s a strong urge to spend this 
week as you’re drawn to luxury and to 
items you can’t really afford, Libra. Try 
to reign in the spending. Venus brings 
you good financial news, but the 

sensible thing to do is to wait 

and see before squander-
ing your cash.

With Venus arriving in your sign, your 
personal magnetism is soaring – if 
you’re looking for love, Scorpio, you 
may have to fend off admirers! 
However, at work, not everyone is 

impressed with your charms. 

It’s important to put in some 

hard work.

Your imagination is one of your 
strong points this week, so this is a 
very good time for writers, artists, 
poets and dreamers of all kinds. Your 
manifestation skills are growing, 

Sagittarius, so look into 

what more you can do to 

create the kind of life 
you want.

Look for new friendships this week, 
Capricorn, as Venus moves into your 
social zone and helps you find your 
tribe. If you’re looking for love, don’t 
be too hasty to dismiss someone as 

being not your ‘type’ – keep 

an open mind!

You’re feeling unusually ambitious but 
ask yourself what your true goals are. 
Much more materialistically motivated 
than normal, Aquarius, you may make 
decisions you normally wouldn’t have, 
based purely on money. Is that where 

you want to head?

Surround yourself with new people or 
visit new places in an effort to curb a 
somewhat restless vibe this week, 
Pisces. If you’re forced to stick with 
the same old, same old, at least try to 
vary your daily routine and enjoy 

some spontaneity.

WHISPER

“Distance makes the heart 
grow fonder? Right??”

“There are too many bagels in 
my kitchen.”

“I am allergic to cats. I want 
one more than anything.”

This Halloween, the rapper 

Lil Nas X paid tribute to his 
idol, Nicki Minaj, by donning 
her iconic look from her 2010 
music video for ‘Super Bass.’

Among the Twitter replies 

and 
Instagram 
comments 

filled with compliments from 
fans and people in the enter-
tainment industry Doja Cat, 
Tierra Whack and Lauren Jau-
regui, Lil Nas X has received a 
lot of homophobic pushback.

While many of the homo-

phobic tweets have now been 
reported and deleted, I noticed 
a specific trend among them. 
Some claimed they weren’t 
being homophobic but were 
worried about how Lil Nas X’s 
actions could affect the young 
Black children who look up to 
him. This is because his song, 
‘Old Town Road’, was very 
popular among kids across the 
country and he even visited 
some elementary schools to 
perform. But why should any 
of this matter?

The fears that queer repre-

sentation in the entertainment 
industry will ‘make kids want 
to be gay’ is unfounded and, 
yes, homophobic because there 
is absolutely nothing wrong or 
abnormal with homosexuality 
or any sexuality. Heterosex-
ism is so ingrained in our cul-
ture that it is not questioned 
or seen as an avenue to sexu-
alize children. Telling a male 
child that he’ll grow up to be a 
‘womanizer’ is seen as a funny 
joke but anything outside of 
the norm, such as wearing 
makeup or dresses, is sudden-
ly sexualized and bad for chil-
dren to experience. Children 
should be allowed to try out 
new things and be themselves 
without 
adults 
connecting 

them to sexuality.

The backlash that Lil Nas 

X and other queer Black folks 
face is hypocritical as well. 
In an entertainment industry 
where many people believe 
that Black men can only gain 
success by wearing a dress, we 
have to think critically about 
why drag or cross-dressing is 
humorous for heterosexual 
Black men but not appropriate 
for queer Black men.

Why are Tyler Perry, Eddie 

Murphy and Martin Lawrence 
able to gain success for their 
cross-dressing performances 
that degrade and make fun of 
fat Black women, but when 
Lil Nas X pays tribute to a 
successful Black woman it’s a 
problem? It further ties into 
deeply rooted sexism towards 
Black women. They can be 
seen as objects to mock by 
straight Black men but not 
icons to praise by gay Black 
men. 

This entire argument is a 

cover to oppress LGBTQ+ peo-
ple and it stems from patriar-
chal and white supremacist 
ideologies. To have a mean-
ingful 
conversation 
about 

why homophobia is present in 

Black communities, we need to 
understand where the domi-
nant idea of masculinity stems 
from. Some people link homo-
sexuality to the emasculation 
of Black men in America as a 
larger goal of white America 
to ruin the Black family and 
therefore the Black race.

There are multiple reasons 

why this argument doesn’t 
hold up. Being gay does not 
mean you cannot be a sup-
portive and loving parent and 
being straight does not mean 
that you will automatically be 
a good parent either. Sexuality 
does not matter, how you treat 
your children matters. On top 
of that, we cannot downplay 
the role of government poli-
cies that have harmed Black 
families such as a criminal 
justice system where Black 
men are disproportionately 
represented and violent eco-
nomic 
disparities. 
I 
don’t 

believe any amount of individ-
ual or behavioral change can 
dismantle 
these 
oppressive 

policies that break up Black 
families.

While I can’t pretend to 

know what it is like to be a 
Black man in America, I do 
know that the social norms 
we’ve been taught throughout 
our lives are not inherent, yet 
social constructions of race 
and gender result in very real-
life experiences. The oppres-
sion of Black queer folks from 
Black heterosexual men on the 
basis of ‘morals’ only furthers 
white supremacy.

Patricia Hill Collins’ “Black 

Feminist Thought” urges us to 
reexamine how we think about 
masculinity and femininity in 
a white supremacist society 
that has done everything it 
can to create a false dichot-
omy between Blackness and 
whiteness. If white heterosex-
ual men have made themselves 
the standard to uphold, then 
anyone outside of those iden-
tities must be ‘othered.’ Under 
this way of thinking, white is 
good, Black is bad. Men are 
strong, women are weak. Het-
erosexuality is natural, homo-
sexuality is deviant. The push 
from some Black people in the 
community to emulate what 
is seen as the ‘standard’ in 
the United States ultimately 
upholds 
patriarchal, 
white 

supremacist and homophobic 
ideologies that just aren’t true.

Lil Nas X should not be 

responsible 
for 
teaching 

children 
‘morals,’ 
and 
his 

queerness and their possible 
queerness should not be seen 
as negative or harmful. We 
cannot blame Black queer 
people for the disrespect that 
white people have always 
directed towards Black folks. 
We cannot blame them for the 
lack of accurate Black media 
representation or compare the 
stability of Black families to 
the existence of queer Black 
men. Homophobia is distract-
ing us from the real reason 
why Black men aren’t treated 
the same as white men: sys-
temic racism.

 CAMILLE MOORE

MiC “Off the Record” Blogger

Image from Lil Nas X’s twitter account

I don’t know how to play Monopoly, 
and I’m not sorry about it

Illustration by Mellisa Lee

 GRACE GARMO

MiC Columnist

