statement

The long, stressful 
wait for Nov. 3

I 

can’t stop listening to the news. I can’t stop reading 

the news. I can’t stop thinking about the news. Elec-

tion Day is Nov. 3, and consuming any type of media 

about the dreaded date sends me spiraling into cycles of fear 

and doubt.

Though the news causes me anxiety, I feel a responsibility 

to keep myself informed about the happenings of the world 

around us. However, with each headline I am reminded about 

how little control I have over the fate of this election. I can’t 

change the fact that neither of the people running for presi-

dent would be my first choice. Nor can I change the fact that I 

live in a country with a two-party system. I can’t eradicate the 

Electoral College. I can’t stop Donald Trump from refusing to 

denounce white supremacy. The list of things that are out of 

my control goes on and on and on. 

Not feeling in control of the world around me isn’t some-

thing I want to get used to because, to a certain extent, we 

all 
have 
plenty of control in how we 

w a n t 
to shape the world. We can 

shape our world through 

actions as small as how 

we interact with our 

neighbors, peers and 

friends, through what 

we choose to post on 

Instagram and how we 

work at the ground level 

to rebuild our own communities. Yet, when it comes to the 

election season, I feel like all I can control is who and what I 

vote for, as well as convincing others to vote and talking to the 

Republicans in my life about why they should vote blue. 

Though I don’t consider myself a Democrat, I have voted 

for the Democratic Party in every election that I am eligible. 

Many of my leftist ideals are not encapsulated in the policies 

of the Democratic Party — I am in favor of the common own-

ership of the means of production as well as a direct democ-

racy. However, voting Democrat in this election will bring the 

administration closer to my viewpoints rather than voting for 

a third-party candidate or for the Republican Party. 

I have noticed that I have been feeling more anxiety re-

garding this election than ever before. Perhaps it’s because I 

am more knowledgeable about politics at the age of 21 than 

when I was 17, or maybe it’s because this is the first presiden-

tial election I am old enough to vote in. It might also be that 

this year feels entirely different than years past. In my senior 

year of high school, I could have never predicted that my last 

year of college would be spent social distancing because of a 

pandemic. 

In the days leading up to the first presidential debate ear-

lier this month, I stayed up late at night playing out all the pos-

sible worst-case scenarios in my head. I bit my nails to a nub 

waiting in line to vote early at the city clerk’s satellite office at 

the University of Michigan Museum of Art. Like many voters 

this year, I opted to vote early to avoid exposure to COVID-19 

in overpopulated Election Day lines. 

However, voting early gave me as much anx-

iety as the potential expo-

sure to COVID-19 would. 

It’s hard for me to 

trust that my vote 

will be counted when the Trump administration is actively 

engaging in voter suppression and relying on it to win the 

election. 

Since last year, I’ve developed the bad habit of twirling my 

hair into small knots whenever I’m stressed. In light of news 

such as this, I’ve cut out at least ten stands of my twisted hair. 

This habit reminds me of how I felt on the night of the elec-

tion in 2016.

I was sitting in a coffee shop with my best friend, my anxi-

ety at an all-time high, as I switched between tabs on my 

computer with college applications and the polls. When I 

saw Trump gaining more electoral votes than Hillary Clinton 

when states like Michigan were called, I expected my heart to 

sink in disappointment. Yet, I was only numb. I guess this was 

my way of coping with fear. 

Cynicism as a result of anxiety about the election can lead 

to political apathy, which has caused many eligible voters to 

opt out of voting. I too have felt and recognize the feeling of 

a lack of control that election season brings, and the cynicism 

that follows. 

The day after Trump was elected, I walked around school 

like a zombie. I listened as my fellow classmates screamed 

“Trump 2016” from the corners of the hallways of my public 

high school in Marshall, Mich. I teared up in my economics 

class only to have my teacher pull me aside and say, “It’s al-

right … he has Mike Pence as his VP. Pence is a good man.” The 

words weren’t comforting then and they still bring me feel-

ings of unsettlement now. 

I’ve dealt with generalized anxiety for most of my life. The 

battle to defeat the worrisome thoughts and troubling fears 

is a lifelong one. During election season, this battle seems all 

the more daunting, especially amid a pandemic. However, not 

voting because of my anxiety during election season is giving 

up what little control I do have as an American citizen. I wish 

I could say casting my ballot a few weeks ago eradicated my 

anxiety completely, but that is far from the case. I’m not sure I 

ever won’t feel anxious about the state of our nation. 

Our country’s politics terrified me when I was 17 and they 

terrify me even more now. Perhaps it will get better and per-

haps it won’t. I’m hoping for the former, yet I’ve grown accus-

tomed to accepting the latter.

ILLUSTRATION BY MAGGIE WIEBE

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

BY ALIX CURNOW, STATEMENT COLUMNIST

Wednesday, October 28, 2020 

Lessons from Ethnography

Can Ethical 
Critique 
Change 
Society?

Online Event: Thursday, October 29, 2020 | 4:00 p.m.

WEBB KEANE 

George Herbert Mead Collegiate 

Professor of Anthropology

 An online lecture. For more information, visit 
events.umich.edu/event/75454 or call 734.615.6667.

