Friday, April 3, 2020 — 6 Arts The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com “Spenser Confidential” is a terrible movie. Or, it’s perfect if you’re looking for a movie you can have on in the background while you scroll mindlessly through your phone. As much as I tried to understand what was going on, the entire film is a mess. Spenser (Mark Wahlberg, “Daddy’s Home”) is an ex-convict and ex-cop who is trying to track down the killer of the man who Spenser had been sent to prison for attacking. It sounds alright, if a little confusing, but in reality, it’s so convoluted and hard to follow that you end up on your phone instead. As much as I love action-packed fight scenes, I’ll go out on a limb and say “Spenser Confidential” is more fighting than anything else. There is so much fighting that the plot gets lost amid scenes of Mark Wahlberg getting beat up. Along with the overabundance of fighting is an overabundance of characters, too many to really understand any one person’s role in the film. The main character besides Wahlberg’s Spenser is Hawk (Winston Duke, “Black Panther”). If I could, I would tell you what purpose his character serves. But I can’t, because in all honesty, I’m not sure there is one. Spenser lives with his friend Henry (Alan Arkin, “Argo”) who took on Hawk, a boxer who somehow can’t throw a punch, as a roommate while Spenser was in prison. How does Hawk get involved in Spenser’s investigation? I’m not really sure. It doesn’t make any sense. Frankly, I was counting down the minutes until this movie finished. I spent the first bit trying to pay attention, actually slightly interested in the back-and-forth, present-and- past scenes, but eventually, I got bored. There isn’t enough that happens in the beginning to grab your attention, and there’s nothing exciting that happens later on to make you pay attention then. There isn’t a single character in this film that I actually liked. I didn’t hate anyone either, though. I barely felt anything. If I’m being honest, the only real emotion I felt while watching this film was astonishment because, for some reason, Post Malone was in it. The biggest problem with “Spenser Confidential” is that even when it’s on, it doesn’t feel like you’re watching anything. It’s background noise, something to have on while you complete a Canvas quiz (yes, I’m speaking from experience). You don’t grow emotionally attached to anyone or anything in the film; so little happens that eventually you forget you’re even watching it. Unless you really don’t want to watch a movie and just need something on to make background noise while you’re doing something else, I would without a doubt classify this movie as a ‘skip.’ Unless you really don’t want to watch a movie and just need something on to make background noise while you’re doing something else, I would without a doubt classify this movie as a ‘skip.’ Be sure to stay away from ‘Spenser Confidential’ SABRIYA IMAMI Daily Arts Writer FILM REVIEW TV REVIEW ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ is not worth watching MAXWELL BARNES Daily Arts Writer Probably the most easily recognizable title of the reality TV era, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” recently began its 18th consecutive season. If you are a nonregular to reality shows but are aware of its campy tropes, you might already fully know what to expect from the Kardashian family’s boring and sometimes controversial livelihoods as socialites of the celebrity world. In the midst of crowded parties and fashion shows of New York, Kim, the show’s de-facto mascot of sorts, appears to feel at home in such a fast-paced environment. She’s mingling around and promoting the launch of her new slimwear line, SKIMS. As an audience, we’re given just enough detail about the progressive, body-positive message of the new clothing line to assume that Kim is rebranding herself as a reformist entrepreneur. However, little attention is given to the product after its singular mention when Kim receives a call from NBA player Tristan Thompson, her sister Khloe’s “baby daddy.” Kim invites Tristan to dinner and much to Khloe’s annoyance, and the two reconcile their broken friendship. This is a common trope throughout the series as the ongoings of the Kardashian brands are mentioned, but are overshadowed by the petty drama that viewers prefer. For example, Kylie Jenner, the world’s youngest “self-made” billionaire, is shown preparing to travel to Paris to promote her cosmetics brand. The show then cuts to Kourtney and her newly formed bad attitude, which she adolescently uses to torment her sisters through her own laziness and apathy. Cut back to New York, where Kim and Tristan are having dinner at a lavish five- star restaurant. Amongst all this, the family’s matriarch and publicist, Kris Jenner, checks in on each of her daughters. I wish I could say I’m merely summarizing these events in lieu of explaining them in full detail, but I can’t. There’s virtually no other information than what’s shown on the surface. Amongst the constant bopping of background music and cuts between cameras, It’s aggravating to stay tuned with regard to how little actually happens amongst all the sisters’ individual plotlines. While Kourtney’s egocentrism builds tension amongst the sisters, Kim eventually takes it upon herself to physically assault Kourtney in a less-than-convincing catfight. Khloe, who is present, does little to break up the altercation. The highest point of drama occurs when Kylie, who has fallen ill, alerts her mother that she can’t attend the fashion show in Paris to promote her brand. The audience might be eager to find out how this problem will be resolved, but we are left to “tune in next week” to find out. Perhaps this is why people watch. To an outsider, family quarrels existing at the richest level of American society might seem reassuring that life might not be so perfect in the highest tax bracket. The relationships among the main Kardashian trio of daughters appear to be rooted in their outright pettiness to each other. They act childish despite the vast monochromatic wardrobes and mansions they have at their disposal. But even if that mode of thinking was the case for viewership, would someone even want to watch 18 consecutive seasons of consistent feuding? It’s because “Keeping Up” feels like junk food for the eyes. It’s mindlessly entertaining. It mainly continues to exist purely as the central platform for the Kardashian brand, whether it be SKIMS or Kylie Cosmetics or for general clout when Kim needs to promote a fashionable Judy crisis kit in the midst of a global pandemic. Season 18 takes a shift to look at each of Kris Jenner’s five daughters as entrepreneurs and activists in their own right. Just last month, Kim was being praised for her endeavors in criminal justice reform, for which she advocated in a visit to the White House. As long as “Keeping Up” endures, so too will the Kardashian’s relevancy. In season 18, that relevancy will depend on how well a new, enterprising slant is received by audiences. And if seeing one reality TV star behind the white house podium wasn’t already enough for you, maybe try to keep up with the Kardashians a little less. COMMUNITY CULTURE NOTEBOOK CAROLINE ATKINSON Daily Arts Writer Back home, on recreating my freshman year dorm In these uncertain and lonely times, I find joy in my photos and string lights. When I packed up my dorm room and flew home to Seattle, I was aware that I would not be returning to freshman year as I knew it. Waiting for me was my childhood bedroom, nightly dinners with family instead of friends and a three-hour time difference. As I stared at the blank pink walls of my room on my first night home, I attempted to mentally prepare for my first online class the next day. Regaining a feeling of normalcy might actually be pretty difficult. I decided the first step to feeling motivated to finish out the semester was to make the place where I grew up feel a little closer to my room back in South Quad. Aside from the fact that I definitely have a little more closet space here and no longer share my space with another student, I figured my room at home didn’t have to be all that different from my dorm. I could hang some command hooks, find an outlet for my Christmas lights, and put up the obligatory freshman dorm tapestry; I could even put my name tag on the outside of my door. My favorite part of the decorating process was spending a considerable amount of time picking my favorite photos from my first year of college to print out. In my rush to pack up everything and leave campus, it was hard to make time to actually reflect on my experiences and why I was so sad to leave. Now that I’m back in my eerily quiet house, though, that’s pretty much all I think about. Looking back at photos from the fall and winter was such a great way to remember all of the fun adventures from before the pandemic. At school, I had taped photos of my friends from high school on my wall to remind me of home. Now these are mixed in with new ones that remind me of Ann Arbor. It makes me so happy to sit at my desk and glance up at photos of my new friends smiling in the Big House hanging next to photos from high school graduation and prom. When I fall asleep now it is to the sound of rain on my roof instead of the music and footsteps of the people in the room above me. Every morning I slowly make my way downstairs to a quiet breakfast with my siblings instead of the laughter and gossip- filled morning meals with friends in the big orange booths of the dining hall that I had grown so accustomed to. But when I walk back up to my room and open my laptop to listen to my 1 p.m. philosophy lecture, I am comforted by the fact that at least my walls look a little like how they did in Michigan. “Spenser Confidential” Netflix Streaming Now When I fall asleep now it is to the sound of rain on my roof instead of the footsteps of the people in the room above me “Keeping Up With the Kardashians’’ Season 18 Premiere E! Thursdays @ 8 p.m.