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Thursday, July 25, 2019
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com MICHIGAN IN COLOR

The other day, I wore a black 
button down shirt. It was quite 
simple, with no extra embroidery 
or anything, just an ordinary black 
button down. Well, maybe there’s 
one exception. My buttons were on 
the left side. Yep, that’s right folks. 
I wore a men’s black button down 
shirt. And, it was the most interest-
ing experience I’ve had to date.
A couple weekends ago, I went 
into the men’s section of H&M, 
which was placed all the way 
upstairs. I took the journey up the 
escalator to a section of clothing 
that combined comfort with my 
simple style. It was nerve-wrack-
ing to search through a section of 
clothing that wasn’t made for me. 
It was scary to try and figure out 
the men’s pants size that would 

fit my thick thighs and wide hips. 
It was uncomfortable watching 
onlookers question why my Black 
female body was upstairs when 
I so clearly belonged one story 
down. Then, I came across a black 
button down shirt.
I thought, wow, a shirt that’s 
casual yet somewhat dressy and 
cheap. Wow, I can wear this with 
so many of my dress pants. Wow, 
this will go great with my saddle 
shoes. Wow, I’m gonna buy this 
before they kick me out–the store 
was about to close. Then I went to 
the counter where a young man 
was working. I placed my black 
button down on the counter along 
with a pair of green pants and blue 
shorts. As I placed my clothes on 
the counter, he gave me a look that 
I’ll never forget. It was a mixture 
of “why the fuck are you here” 
and “what the fuck are you doing.” 
Nevertheless, he rang me up, I paid 

for my three items of clothing, and 
left the store. A few weeks later, I’d 
see this look again.
On Tuesday, I was met with 
the most attention I’ve ever seen 
standing on the street while leav-
ing my internship and waiting for 
the bus, here in Los Angeles. As I 
stood at the bus stop, I got so many 
stares that I thought one of my 
buttons was undone. At first, I was 
confused as to why so many peo-
ple kept staring at me in disdain. 
Finally, a man stared at me long 
enough for me to realize what the 
problem was: my buttons were on 
the wrong side.
This man stared directly at my 
shirt. We locked eyes for a couple 
of seconds while he was check-
ing out my buttons, and repul-
sion filled his eyes. I’m not sure if 
it was simply because I was a girl 
wearing a boy shirt, or because I 
was wearing extremely feminine 

dress pants. Maybe he couldn’t 
understand the idea of uniting the 
gender biased system of clothing 
that society implores? Or maybe 
he just hated that my buttons were 
on the left, when they ought to 
always reside on the right? I’m not 
sure where his aversion stemmed 
from, but it helped me understand 
why I was getting so much atten-
tion. Women and men alike looked 
at me like they never have before, 
each time reviewing the buttons 
that lay on the left. I felt objecti-
fied in every sense of the word, my 
clothing turning me into a foreign 
object. Nevertheless, I stood there 
in all my left-sided, button-wear-
ing splendor and waited for the 
bus.
When the bus finally came, I 
stood up until it was time for me to 
reach my next stop and catch the 
second of three buses to my next 
destination. During my commute, 

I started to think about the expe-
rience and began to smile. A year 
ago, I would have never voluntarily 
gone into the men’s section of any 
store and bought an item of cloth-
ing, no matter how much I wanted 
to. I would never wear that same 
shirt to a place of work or anywhere 
my appearance would be judged. A 
year ago, I never would have come 
out to my parents. Here I was on a 
bus in LA, a completely different 
person from a year before, and all 
I could do was smile about my pro-
gression. A year ago, I didn’t even 
know the buttons on men’s shirts 
were on a different side, and here I 
was getting gazed at in disdain for 
one of the most freeing experiences 
of my life. There I was, in a differ-
ent place, in a different time being 
my most authentic self in my LBD 
(left-sided button down). I’ll take all 
the stupid stares in the world to feel 
forever free in my LBD.

To the left

DIERRA BARLOW
MiC Podvast Editor

Courtesy of Tara Urso via Unsplash

