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Thursday, July 11, 2019
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
OPINION
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CASSANDRA MANSUETTI
Editor in Chief
EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS
L
ast month, Americans were
treated to the first debates
among the incredibly large
field
of
Democratic
presidential
candidates.
There
are
so
many
candidates that the debates were split
into two nights — one on Wednesday,
the other Thursday, with 10 candidates
each. I tuned into both debates,
expecting some laughs, some memes,
some
surprising
breakout
stars.
Thankfully, I got all of that: laughs
from Marianne Willamson’s confusing
presence, memes from Beto’s Spanish
moment and standout performances
from Cory Booker and Julián Castro.
Above all, though, I came out with two
powerful emotions: frustration and
anger. Frustration that former Vice
President Joe Biden is leading in the
polls despite a questionable political
past and no new ideas, and anger that
some people on the Democratic side
believe that a moderate is what’s best
for this country.
In my view, Biden appeals to people
for two reasons alone: his connection to
Obama, and his position as a moderate.
Yet with the Democratic Party moving
left, Biden’s policy proposals, or truly,
his lack thereof, are tired and worn
out — he is so desperately riding the
coattails of the Obama administration.
I could dedicate all 1,000 of my words
to why we deserve better than Joe
Biden, but this is a column not just
on politics, but pop culture as well.
So I’m going to do perhaps the most
glaringly Gen Z thing I could possibly
do: compare the 2020 Democrats to
contestants on “The Bachelorette.”
I have just recently started watching
“The Bachelorette,” but it is exactly
the type of high-drama, low-brain
power television that makes my heart
soar. Hannah Brown and her harem
of men is also strikingly reminiscent
of the current Democratic race to
the presidency. I don’t know which
part of the show is most similar to the
race: The fact that everyone’s chasing
after someone from middle America
as if they stand a chance or the sheer
magnitude of indistinguishable white
men. There’s also a central enemy
— if Trump was a “Bachelorette”
contestant, he would be Luke P. He is
a manipulative, misogynist, toxic man
that nobody likes but everybody can’t
stop talking about, and he keeps getting
put through by a voter from Alabama.
You hope to God that he doesn’t win,
but your past has jaded you, and your
lack of trust in the process makes you
the slightest bit worried he just might
pull it off.
On the opposite end of the spectrum,
there’s Tyler C. — sweet, respectful
and smart, Tyler is my Elizabeth
Warren figure. He works with multiple
charities and only wants what’s best
for Hannah, even if it’s not what’s best
for him. He’s almost too good for the
show, and most people know that he
should be the obvious winner. I can
only imagine Tyler would tax the ultra-
rich, forgive student debt, support the
Green New Deal and support the rights
of women, minorities and the LGBTQ+
community.
To round out this scale, let’s throw
in Jed. Jed looks good on the surface,
he’s got everything you think the
perfect winner would have. But Jed is
hardly the most endearing guy on “The
Bachelorette,” and Biden doesn’t even
break my top five candidates. Take a
peek under the surface, and there’s a
darker side. Surprise! Biden opposed
bussing, voted for Iraq and failed to be
fair to Anita Hill. Almost as bad, Jed
had a girlfriend when he joined the
show and admitted to only going on it
to promote his mediocre country music.
This may be lighthearted, but I stand
by my analogy. Shouldn’t we expect as
much from our presidential candidates
as we do from random men looking for
love? Democrats and liberals have to
learn from their past and their mistakes.
If a woman isn’t appealing to voters, then
why did a woman win the popular vote?
If America won’t vote for someone too
far left, why is every candidate talking
about the Green New Deal, Medicare
for All and free college tuition? How
can we just go back to the way it was
in the Obama Administration, when
the world has changed since then and
politics in America will probably never
be the same?
Biden insists that if he beats Trump,
Republicans will be willing to work
with him. He says this as if the blockage
of Merrick Garland never occurred, as
if the right isn’t gleefully stripping away
human rights, as if partisan politics
hasn’t shifted from disagreements
over taxation to fighting over whether
children should have access to soap.
The bigoted foundation of this country
is not going to disappear alongside its
president, it will fight and it will fester,
growing stronger in the absence of
validation. We need a disruption, not a
return to the past.
SAMANTHA DELLA FERA | COLUMN
Samantha Della Fera can be
reached at samdf@umich.edu.
No rose for moderate Joe
EMILY CONSIDINE | CONTACT CARTOONIST AT EMCONSID@UMICH.EDU
The talk
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