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Thursday, July 11, 2019
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
OPINION

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EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS

L

ast month, Americans were 
treated to the first debates 
among the incredibly large 
field 
of 
Democratic 
presidential 
candidates. 
There 
are 
so 
many 
candidates that the debates were split 
into two nights — one on Wednesday, 
the other Thursday, with 10 candidates 
each. I tuned into both debates, 
expecting some laughs, some memes, 
some 
surprising 
breakout 
stars. 
Thankfully, I got all of that: laughs 
from Marianne Willamson’s confusing 
presence, memes from Beto’s Spanish 
moment and standout performances 
from Cory Booker and Julián Castro. 
Above all, though, I came out with two 
powerful emotions: frustration and 
anger. Frustration that former Vice 
President Joe Biden is leading in the 
polls despite a questionable political 
past and no new ideas, and anger that 
some people on the Democratic side 
believe that a moderate is what’s best 
for this country.
In my view, Biden appeals to people 
for two reasons alone: his connection to 
Obama, and his position as a moderate. 
Yet with the Democratic Party moving 
left, Biden’s policy proposals, or truly, 
his lack thereof, are tired and worn 
out — he is so desperately riding the 
coattails of the Obama administration. 
I could dedicate all 1,000 of my words 
to why we deserve better than Joe 
Biden, but this is a column not just 
on politics, but pop culture as well. 
So I’m going to do perhaps the most 
glaringly Gen Z thing I could possibly 
do: compare the 2020 Democrats to 
contestants on “The Bachelorette.”
I have just recently started watching 
“The Bachelorette,” but it is exactly 
the type of high-drama, low-brain 

power television that makes my heart 
soar. Hannah Brown and her harem 
of men is also strikingly reminiscent 
of the current Democratic race to 
the presidency. I don’t know which 
part of the show is most similar to the 
race: The fact that everyone’s chasing 
after someone from middle America 
as if they stand a chance or the sheer 
magnitude of indistinguishable white 
men. There’s also a central enemy 
— if Trump was a “Bachelorette” 
contestant, he would be Luke P. He is 
a manipulative, misogynist, toxic man 
that nobody likes but everybody can’t 
stop talking about, and he keeps getting 
put through by a voter from Alabama. 
You hope to God that he doesn’t win, 
but your past has jaded you, and your 
lack of trust in the process makes you 
the slightest bit worried he just might 
pull it off. 
On the opposite end of the spectrum, 
there’s Tyler C. — sweet, respectful 
and smart, Tyler is my Elizabeth 
Warren figure. He works with multiple 
charities and only wants what’s best 
for Hannah, even if it’s not what’s best 
for him. He’s almost too good for the 
show, and most people know that he 
should be the obvious winner. I can 
only imagine Tyler would tax the ultra-
rich, forgive student debt, support the 
Green New Deal and support the rights 
of women, minorities and the LGBTQ+ 
community. 
To round out this scale, let’s throw 
in Jed. Jed looks good on the surface, 
he’s got everything you think the 
perfect winner would have. But Jed is 
hardly the most endearing guy on “The 
Bachelorette,” and Biden doesn’t even 
break my top five candidates. Take a 
peek under the surface, and there’s a 

darker side. Surprise! Biden opposed 
bussing, voted for Iraq and failed to be 
fair to Anita Hill. Almost as bad, Jed 
had a girlfriend when he joined the 
show and admitted to only going on it 
to promote his mediocre country music. 
This may be lighthearted, but I stand 
by my analogy. Shouldn’t we expect as 
much from our presidential candidates 
as we do from random men looking for 
love? Democrats and liberals have to 
learn from their past and their mistakes. 
If a woman isn’t appealing to voters, then 
why did a woman win the popular vote? 
If America won’t vote for someone too 
far left, why is every candidate talking 
about the Green New Deal, Medicare 
for All and free college tuition? How 
can we just go back to the way it was 
in the Obama Administration, when 
the world has changed since then and 
politics in America will probably never 
be the same? 
Biden insists that if he beats Trump, 
Republicans will be willing to work 
with him. He says this as if the blockage 
of Merrick Garland never occurred, as 
if the right isn’t gleefully stripping away 
human rights, as if partisan politics 
hasn’t shifted from disagreements 
over taxation to fighting over whether 
children should have access to soap. 
The bigoted foundation of this country 
is not going to disappear alongside its 
president, it will fight and it will fester, 
growing stronger in the absence of 
validation. We need a disruption, not a 
return to the past.

SAMANTHA DELLA FERA | COLUMN

Samantha Della Fera can be 

reached at samdf@umich.edu.

No rose for moderate Joe

EMILY CONSIDINE | CONTACT CARTOONIST AT EMCONSID@UMICH.EDU

The talk

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