I come from an Indian 
family with lovingly obsessive 
parents who will continue 
to baby me even when I’m 
living on my own. One day 
over 
Thanksgiving 
Break, 
my mom drove me to my 
ophthalmologist’s office for 
an annual check-up. She sat 
with me before the doctor 
walked in, and interestingly 
enough, found that it was 
the perfect time for my daily 
career 
counseling 
session. 
We sat there having a ten-
minute 
tête-à-tête. 
She 
constantly prodded me about 
how I would be spending my 
summer, and I constantly 
deflected her questions with 
half-baked placations.
 Our doctor walked into the 
room soon after, saving me 
from the interrogation. Dr. 
Bhatia is a second generation 
Punjabi – he went to college 

in New Orleans, medical 
school in Toledo, and now 
lives in Dallas with his wife 
and two kids. In pretty 
much every respect, he was 
just 
as 
Americanized 
as 
the 
generation 
of 
Indian 
Americans I grew up with. In 
his slightly rolling accent, he 
asked me to give him updates 
on my life. I knew the ultimate 
question was coming, and 
it eventually did after a few 
minutes of small talk. “So… 
any special guy?”
 My laugh was instinctual 
and lasted slightly longer 
than it should have. “Nope, 
you’ll be the first one to know 
if I ever do,” I joked. I heard 
a small sound escape my 
mother’s mouth, but I didn’t 
expect her voice any of her 
concerns. Luckily, my parents 
have always understood my 
career-focused 
future. 
Dr. 
Bhatia, on the other hand, 
seemed 
more 
concerned 
about what he called my 
“biological reality.” I was 

shocked when I heard these 
words come from a man who 
has spent his entire life in the 
States. I almost expected him 
to align with my culturally 
progressive mentality, but he 
approached the topic from 
what he described as a purely 
scientific perspective, though 
he 
was 
obviously 
tinged 
cultural bias. He proceeded 
to discuss how Indian women 
face a specific disadvantage 
because they don’t typically 
seek 
arranged 
marriages; 
men usually approach women 
first, and on the basis of their 
own timelines. While he 
accepted the generalization 
that men usually mature and 
want to settle down later 
than in life that women do, 
he claimed that men who 
seek relationships and focus 
on marriage prospects much 
later than women interfere 
with 
women’s 
biological 
timelines, making it difficult 
to have healthy children at a 
“reasonable age.” Secondly, 

he felt that if women waited 
until they were ready to get 
married (usually, once they 
have settled in their careers), 
there 
would 
realize 
that 
there was a dearth of eligible, 
available men.
 My response to these 
claims: why should we women 
worry about conforming to 
the timelines of men? Dr. 
Bhatia’s assertion came with 
the expectation that we are 
constantly 
stressing 
about 
adhering 
to 
stereotypical 
age ranges to fulfill certain 
life goals, and that some 
goals are always prioritized 
over others. How are Indian 
women supposed to carry 
the onuses of studying well, 
finding lucrative jobs, while 
simultaneously finding a life 
companion, having children, 
and securing their futures as 
well? Why do our overbearing 
parents teach to focus on our 
studies and avoid boys like 
the plague, but then expect 
us to effortlessly navigate our 

relationships when we reach 
the age for marriage? South 
Asian elders seem to instill in 
us a fear of disappointment 
that causes us to act like our 
lives are in pristine order; 
in reality, however, we are 
faced with this paradox that 
hinders our ability to live 
life on our own terms. As an 
Indian American woman – I 
told Dr. Bhatia –I shouldn’t 
have to obligated to take 
on societal commitments I 
am not prepared for, and I 
shouldn’t have to shoulder 
the burden of measuring up 
to such demanding biological 
realities.
 I realized for the first 
time, a little dejectedly, that 
concepts of love, dating, and 
marriage don’t necessarily 
progress through generations. 
Traditional 
family-based 
values 
are 
perpetuated 
regardless of whether we are 
first 
or 
second-generation 
individuals. While I grew 
up learning the importance 

of unity and family, I never 
expected 
that 
the 
idea 
of 
getting 
married 
and 
having kids within a certain 
timeframe would be imposed 
upon me by other second-
generation adults. Hearing 
Dr. Bhatia tell me “Don’t lose 
sleep over it, but just keep 
in in the back of your mind 
because your responsibilities 
will creep up on you” made 
me question the extent to 
which we pride ourselves 
on progress. His comments 
made 
me 
see 
the 
stark 
disparity in the way South 
Asian 
communities 
treat 
females in comparison males 
– it is a disparity that has 
crossed continental borders 
and embedded itself into the 
roots of our society. Its ability 
to permeate diverse cultures 
is not restricted by the soil 
we are on, and that should be 
something we consider in our 
feminist efforts!

Romance and the hidden paradox of second-generation dating

ARCHANA PRABHAKAR
MiC Columnist

We’ve seen her belt at the top of her lungs to Beyonce’s “Love On 
Top”. We’ve witnessed her serve witty comebacks as Diane in the 
popular hit series “Blackish.” Now we finally get to see this little 
queen achieve greater feats. As if Black History Month couldn’t get 
any better, Marsai Martin is shining a light and reminding us of the 
power, fearlessness and ambition that Black Girl Magic was born 
from.
Not too long ago, Marsai took the internet by storm when it was 
revealed that she officially made history as the youngest Executive 
Producer in Hollywood. For this young queen’s upcoming 
film Little, fourteen years old isn’t looking too shabby.
As if this isn’t enough to give Marsai her well-deserved accolades, 
the entire concept of the film was her idea. When she was only 
11-years old, she pitched her idea to “Blackish” writer Kenya Barris, 
which was all it took for the next door to open. Marsai reported 
that Kenya Barris made the phone call to Will Packer, producer of 
“Girls Trip”, and told him just how dope her idea was.
Tracy Y. Oliver revealed further details from behind the scenes 
regarding the highly anticipated film and its Executive Producer 
on her Instagram. She said, “I went in Universal to do a joint pitch 
with a then 11-year old @marsaimartin for this movie that she 
dreamt up. So young, but so confident. Way more than me. Thank 
you for the honor of writing this movie. Proud of you, girl”. So, not 
only is our beloved Marsai Martin an amazing actress, it seems like 

she’s now a triple threat with more to add to her resume.
Marsai has also managed to successfully nab a production deal 
with Universal Pictures. Her company Genius Productions just 
recently signed a deal with Universal in which she’ll be developing 
her own scripted projects for the company. Her first project with 
Genius Productions is set to be a film called “StepMonster,” which 
is a comedy film similar to her upcoming movie, “Little.” As if it 
were any surprise, Genius Productions already has a few fans 
excited and fellow celebs congratulating Marsai on her astonishing 
accomplishments. Marsai is definitely giving Hollywood what it 
needs as far as comedy, creativity and representation.
Overall, Marsai is not wasting time or even dabbling with the 
idea of limitations. The triple-threat actress is making her mark 
and letting it be known that, despite her age, her boundless spirit 
and talent is a force to be reckoned with. More importantly, this 
deal is not only significant to fellow young actresses or even 
young girls, but it’s an eye-opener for the Black community. This 
young queen represents that regardless of size, we’re capable of 
extraordinary feats. In truth, her accomplishments show that as 
a people, we naturally connect and we’re only scratching the very 
surface of what lies beyond the sky, we have several infinities 
to conquer before we even utter the word “done.” Marsai even 
told Teen Vogue about her high hopes of what we can accomplish 
by saying, “I hope that in 21 years, we won’t even have to be a first 
anymore: First black woman to do this, or first black male, or first 
woman to do that… I hope that we always have diversity, that we 
have equality and representation every step of the way.”

YASMEEN LUDY
MiC Blogger

I think that student orgs offer an important 
opportunity for students from different 
backgrounds and perspectives to come together 
to do work they are passionate about. As part of 
my work for a student org, I have been helping to 
organize social justice workshops for high school 
students. These workshops are aimed not only 
at helping the students learn about their own 
identities, but teaching them how to accept people 
with different identities. One of the workshops 
focused on stereotypes and microaggressions. 
This workshop was meant to portray the dangers 
of making assumptions about people based 
on stereotypes and the negative effect that 
microaggressions can have on individuals that are 
subjected to them. When asking the students 

KHADEJA JOMAA
MiC Columnist

The importance 
of acceptance

READ MORE AT MICHIGANDAILY.COM

Michigan in Color

Marsai Martin: The little queen with big dreams