Wednesday, February 20, 2019 // The Statement 
 
3B

ILLUSTRATION BY CHRISTINE JEGARL

I

magine having a secret for most 
of your life you have wanted to 
tell someone for so long, but are 
afraid of what might happen if you share 
it. This was me. Until today. Today, I am 
going to stop feeling alone, and embrace 
who I am as a person — I am gay. This 
is something I’ve known for a very long 
time, but have been too afraid to share.
Ever since I was young, I had a plan 
for my future. I imagined having a lov-
ing wife, happy kids and a fitting job. My 
plan was detailed in this way because 
this is what I was exposed to throughout 
my childhood from television programs, 
friends and social media. Growing up, I 
always liked guys as friends but it took 
me some time to realize it wasn’t only 
as friends — I had feelings for them, too. 
During my junior year of high school, 
I started to have the idea I was gay. 
But when I would have this thought, I 
immediately tried to deny it, as I knew 
this “plan” would not be able to exist. I 
thought if I was openly gay, it would be 
impossible to find love or a secure job. 
This state of denial that I was in last-
ed for many years. Until very recently, 
actually. And one of the reasons I believe 

this denial lasted so long is because I did 
not, and still do not, identify with how 
the media portrays gay people.
In television, movies, interviews and 
social media, gay people are all seen in 
a similar fashion. They are portrayed 
with a feminine look, their only interests 
revolve around the arts and they only 
have only female friends. While some 
gay men do identify with this descrip-
tion, I believe there is much more than 
one personality type for a sexuality. You 
can carry some of these traits, or none 
of them at all. While I am still a fan of 
Broadway (typically seen as an effemi-
nate trope), I also enjoy sports, as well 
as hanging out with guys — more typi-
cally masculine traits. And because the 
media views gay men with one specific 
label, so does the public, who interact 
with different forms of media on a daily 
basis. Even though there are plenty of 
people who can relate to this character-
ization, I cannot. Until I got to the Uni-
versity of Michigan, I only saw people 
who are gay in one light.
Finding my place at the University, 
as well as my group of friends, allowed 
me to feel more like myself. And while 

that helped, I always thought there was 
something missing — something I was 
hiding from the people around me. And 
over the past two years at the Univer-
sity, I discovered new aspects of my per-
sonality, and now my sexuality. But now 
that I have discovered this new part of 
who I am, I want the world to know I am 
the same person as before.
Many times when people “come out” 
to the world, people look at and treat 
them differently because of their sexu-
ality. I have to admit, there was a point 
in time where I may have been guilty of 
doing the same. But I want to say to my 
friends, family and to the world, that 
being gay may change my sexuality, but 
it does not change who I am as a person 
— I am still me.
I am still going to have the same 
friends who will support me through 
difficult times I will face down the road. 
I am still going to dress the same as I did 
yesterday. I am still going to enjoy yell-
ing at Michigan football games when 
Shea Patterson makes a bad play. But 
the biggest difference between yester-
day and today is that I am open about a 
secret I have not only been hiding from 

the world, but also from myself.
I will be straightforward and say the 
next few months will be an adjustment. 
Not only for me, but also for my family 
and friends. Yes, there are people who 
may have had an idea for some time that 
I might be gay, but I am sure some peo-
ple who I interact with on a daily basis 
would not have expected it. By sharing 
my secret with the world, I hope I will 
be able to ease my anxieties and worries 
about keeping this secret from practi-
cally everyone.
For years, I never told anyone about 
my sexuality. I interacted with peo-
ple every day, and I felt like there was 
something missing. But I am happy to 
say that I have decided to finally be true 
to myself and to stop pretending to be 
someone I’m not. I now realize there is 
not one description of what being gay 
is supposed to look like. There are mil-
lions of different labels and every per-
son has their own. I spent a long time in 
denial about something that makes up a 
major part of who I am as an individual, 
but today I am proud to have “come out” 
to the world about who I really am.

BY ALEC COHEN, MANAGING PHOTO EDITOR

Coming out with a secret

