I

’ve 
never 
written 
about 
sex 
before. It’s always 
felt like a breach 
of some invisible 
social contract, like 
a taboo topic tip-
toed around euphe-
mistically because 
we can’t talk about 
the 
details: 
It’s 
too personal, too 
vulnerable, 
too 
awkward for your 
grandmother 
to 
hear you wrote an 
article about hook-
ing up. I’ve always 
thrown sex into the 
category of things 
beyond my scope 
of personal, opin-
ionated 
expertise, 
like foreign policy 
or Major League 
Baseball or classical 
music.
Let me preface 
this with the fact 
that I do not write. My job at The Mich-
igan Daily is to edit: I proofread and 
fact check, suggest and question. But 
in terms of generating content, I leave 
my opinions unsaid. Armed with 
the words of others, I am free to 
wholeheartedly participate in the 
world of journalism without bar-
ing an inch of my soul. All without 
being the slightest bit exposed — 
no byline with my name and no 
picture. I do not write. And I most 
certainly do not write about sex.
But I’ve been in college for three 
years now and it occurred to me 
that maybe I do have something to 
say. Maybe there is room beyond 
the silence, beyond the closed 
lips, beyond the texts I have typed 
and deleted, just past whispers of 
friends and sharp turns I’ve taken to 
avoid him, to avoid you, to avoid myself. 
There is all the space in the world to 
say what I want to say.
It takes courage to share our stories. 
It takes bravery to share our trauma, 

our regrets, our mistakes and our suc-
cesses. It is one of the hardest things 
in the world to be honest. As an editor, 
I’ve had the privilege to read so many 
accounts of honesty: Passionate opin-
ions, personal narratives, coverage of 
tragedies and triumphs. The mundane 
and the unusual, the wins and the loss-
es.
I am going to write that sex in col-
lege is not what I expected. Hookup 
culture, to me, has been a source of 
intangible, undefinable confusion. I 
have gotten by without much thought. 
I haven’t been in danger, or in love. I 
have played my part in the chaos, at the 
frat parties, at the bar, in the middle of 
the night. I have lied and been lied to, I 
have rejected and been rejected, I have 
stomached disappointment and an 
extra drink. I have snuck home in the 
morning and called my mother. 
I don’t write, but I am a writer. And 
I’m not a born communicator: In fact, 
I’m an expert in avoidance. A lot of us 
are. What strikes me about hookup 
culture is how deeply removed we’ve 
become from our truths. I am 21 and 
just learning how to say what I mean. 
My mom always told me I’d never be in 
a relationship until I stopped looking 
over my shoulder every time I make a 
decision. I always told her it wouldn’t 
matter here. But I have to learn how to 
write what I’m thinking, how to leave 
something unedited and unfinished.
There is a lot of noise. There are a 
lot of layers. I was always the one in 
high school turning down the music at 
parties so I could hear you speak more 
clearly. I was always one to want what 
I couldn’t have. That has been my big-
gest flaw. I could never articulate per-
fectly what I was feeling, so I didn’t say 
anything. I was never 100 percent sure 
about foreign policy, or baseball, or 
music or sex, so I never spoke up at all.
I think we forget that people are lis-
tening. I forget I’m always staying just 
10 more minutes at the bar because I 
have more to say. I’m always forget-
ting that I know how to be myself. I’m 
an editor: always cutting things out, 
always fixing your mistakes. I don’t 
write about sex. Maybe I’ll learn how 
to.

Wednesday, December 5, 2018 // The Statement
2B

ILLUSTRATION BY CHRISTINE JEGARL

BY EMILY STILLMAN, DAILY COPY EDITOR
Copy That: The one about sex

Managing Statement Editor:

Brian Kuang

Deputy Editors:

Colin Beresford

Jennifer Meer

Editor in Chief:

Alexa St. John

Photo Editor:

Amelia Cacchione

Designer:

Elizabeth Bigham

Managing Editor:

Dayton Hare

Copy Editors:

Elise Laarman

Finntan Storer
statement

THE MICHIGAN DAILY | DECEMBER 5, 2018

I do not write. And I 
most certainly do not 
write about sex.

