Welcome “bAAck,” welcome 
home, 
welcome 
freshmen, 
welcome all … Welcome Week. 
Nothing screams the start of 
the school year quite like kiddie 
pools filled with sweat and 
beer, freshmen running around 
campus without chaperones for 
the first time in their lives and 
eating and drinking as though 
your body is a garbage disposal. 
Oftentimes I commit myself to 
portraying the world of food 
and wine on this campus as 
sophisticated, graceful and classy. 
And while I will attest to the fact 
that the students on this campus 
effuse elegance in their palettes 
when it comes to good food, that 
the Ann Arbor restaurants are top 
notch and unique and that a vast 
majority of Michigan students 
would 
consider 
themselves 
“foodies,” I cannot sugarcoat the 
one time of year that all of that 
foodie knowledge goes flying 
out the door. That special time 
of the year is Welcome Week. In 
honor of the end of such a sacred, 
foul 
and 
so-forgettable-that-
it’s-memorable week and the 
beginning of Syllabus Week, I have 
compiled the official Welcome 
Week Food and Beverage Pairing 
Recommendations to ensure that 
you celebrated the start of the 
2018–2019 school year with the 
perfect mix of class and utter 
disgrace.
No Thai and Yellow Tail 
Pinot Grigio: It wouldn’t be 
Welcome Week without No Thai, 
which means at least two days 
worth of leftover fried rice for just 
under $10. When splurging on 
your Thai food feast — in between 
forkfuls of oily, glistening pad 
thai noodles spattered with fried 
egg and onion — I recommend a 
nice, chilled glass of Yellow Tail 
Pinot Grigio. The perfect mix 
of elegance and efficiency when 

curing a hangover. Yellow Tail 
also balances and counters the 
potential spice involved in various 
No Thai dishes, making it all the 
more mild and enjoyable.
Pancheros and Mango Four 
Loko: If you’re desperate enough 
to opt for Pancheros vs Chipotle 
or BTB, you’re desperate enough 
to have a casual dinner time 
Floko. The casual Four Loko has 
been opposed and look down 
upon, but truly, if you are on the 
road to sprinting the marathon 
that is Welcome Week, there’s no 
better way to do it then a Floko 
+ Pancheros pairing. I’d opt for 
a chicken quesadilla with a side 
of chips and guac, keep things 
simple and traditional on the food 
end to make way for the real star 
of the show: the beverage. Wait 
until you are truly desperate and 
at your wits end before trying this 
dangerous duo, you may not make 
it to the next darty.
Leftover 
Domino’s 
and 
lukewarm Natty Lite: This 
pairing may sound like your 
worst nightmare. But imagine 
it like this: You stumble out of 
bed at 7:00 a.m. with a blaring 
headache, an unwelcome Svedka 
taste in the back of your mouth 
and the sudden urge to yak. You 
walk into your kitchen for a cup 
of water, but what’s there? Your 
roommate’s half eaten Domino’s 
pizza and a can of not-cold-but-
not-warm Natural Lite beer. You 
reach for the pizza and crack 
open a lukewarm one, not with 
the boys, but simply yourself 
and realize that you were always 
destined to hit this rare form of 
rock bottom. 
Rod’s Diner and Barefoot 
Moscato: How much sugar is 
too much sugar? In the event of 
Welcome Week, there is never 
enough sugar. Dessert wine is 
meant to pair with dessert — and 
that’s why Rod’s thick, creamy, 
blissful colliders pair perfectly 
with the goddess of all sweet 
wine: Barefoot Moscato. You may 

need some water and perhaps a 
pre-pregame nap after this duo 
knocks you out.
Amer’s 
Açaí 
Bowls 
and 
White Claw: The OFFICIAL 
basic Michigan girl Welcome 
Week food and drink pairing is 
an Amer’s açaí bowl topped with 
granola and peanut butter in one 
hand and a can of 100 calorie 
White Claw hard seltzer in the 
other. Due to prime location and 
the menu’s opportune breakfast 
options, this pairing is also a 
definite game day duo, ingested 
by all the girls who occupy the 
hallowed halls of Arbor Blu, 
Landmark and Zaragon. 
Fleetwood 
Diner 
Hippie 
Hash and Smirnoff Ice: When 
going for the quirkiness that is 
Fleetwood Diner, one must always 
expect the element of surprise. 
And what’s more surprising than 
finding a planted Smirnoff Ice 
in your Fleetwood booth upon 
arrival, planted there by only your 
sneakiest friends? After getting 
on one knee and making it onto all 
of your friends’ snapchat stories 
in all your shame and pajamas, 
hippie hash will never feel so 
right, so fulfilling, so greasy and 
so good.
Smoke’s 
Poutinerie 
and 
Kamchatka: Both of these have 
something in common: You don’t 
know how you got there, you 
never intended to get there, you 
promised yourself you wouldn’t 
get there, but alas, there you 
are. Nobody goes out with the 
intention to end up at Beaver 
Trap eating poutine or taking 
pulls of Kamchatka in a sweaty 
basement, but nobody goes into 
this week with the intention of 
meeting many goals either. That’s 
why each bite of cheesy, gravy-
drenched 
poutine 
should 
be 
washed down with a nice big gulp 
of Kamchatka vodka.
Pizza 
House 
Feta 
Bread 
and Franzia: Perhaps the most 
coveted, most important, most 
popular of all food and beverage 

pairings during welcome week, 
the pair who always knows 
five brothers and runs into 24 
people they know in the Diag 
at any moment of the day, is feta 
bread and Franzia. Perhaps it’s 
the alliteration, perhaps it’s the 
tradition, perhaps it’s the so-bad-
it’s-good sentiment running deep 
through both choices — whatever 
it is, these two wrongs certainly 
make a right. Whether you’re 
ordering a late night feta bread 
after going out, cozying up in a 
midday Pizza House booth or 
having a quick pre-nap-and-rally 
snack, nothing pairs better with 
gooey, cheesy feta bread than a 
nice drag of Franzia wine straight 
out of the bag.
Rick’s Mind Probe and 7/11 
taquitos: What’s in a Mind Probe 
and what’s in a taquito from 7/11? 
Many of us don’t know the answer 
to either. On a normal week I’d 
offer the opinion that both are 
horrible choices. But something 
about the dark, dimly lit staircase 
descending into Rick’s juxtaposed 
by the blinding, fluorescent 7/11 
sign 
swinging 
ominously 
on 
South Forest makes me want 
to venture a guess that a Rick’s 
Mind Probe would be missing 
something without the crunch of 
a 7/11 taquito between each sip.
I cannot be disappointed by 
this campus, though it loses its 
foodie attitude for the week 
before school begins. Ann Arbor 
celebrates so many highs in 
the gastronomic field — trendy 
restaurants, tasty new dishes 
and daring chefs — but we must 
remember our late Aug. roots. 
Once classes begin and school 
is in full swing, the Kombucha 
bottles, trendy lattes and ramen 
noodle bowls will be all the 
rage once more. Until next year, 
that is, when we can consult 
this trusty guide for the best 
recommendations of just what 
to pair with that leftover, early 
morning feta bread in order to 
have the best Welcome Week yet.

Eating through Welcome Week

DAILY FOOD COLUMN

It was a Tuesday night, and 
frankly, I wasn’t expecting a 
huge turnout — Grand Rapids 
isn’t the most accessible city 
in Mich., and Tuesdays aren’t 
typically ideal for club shows. 
I showed up early to check out 
the wildly impressive Thin Lips, 
whose new record Chosen Family 
is a testament to the raw talent 
that seems to flow endlessly 
from Philadelphia, which is 
also home to their tourmates 
in Hop Along. After their set, 
which included some back-up 
vocals from Hop Along’s Frances 
Quinlan, I looked around to 
notice the crowd had filled out 
significantly during the opening 
performance, which must have 
been near capacity by that point.
Hop Along is clearly turning 
heads, especially with their 
newest effort Bark Your Head 
Off, Dog, which landed them 
a feature in Rolling Stone 
published the day of the show. 
The album is tight, unpredictable 
and 
thoroughly 
impressive 
from front to back, featuring 
unmatched 
composition 
and 
hairpin changes in tempo and 
atmosphere. 
In 
all 
honesty, 
the album is so ambitious 
and complex I was worried it 
wouldn’t fare nearly as well live. 
My worries were entirely quelled 
by the end of their opening track 
(and new album opener), “How 
Simple.”
Hop Along’s related artists on 
Spotify include Jeff Rosenstock, 
Lemuria and Glocca Morra, who 
all are barely tangential to Hop 
Along in terms of similarity. 
Much like Spotify’s difficulty 
in finding similar artists (likely 
because there aren’t any), I won’t 

pretend to have the vocabulary 
to 
accurately 
describe 
Hop 
Along’s 
musicianship. 
Even 
within the confines of a live 
setting, their art is absolutely 
stunning; 
Quinlan’s 
vocals 
range from desperate yells to 
soft musings, best exemplified 
during “Not Abel,” a sprawling, 
biblically-charged 
track 
split 
into two distinct sections that 
the band navigated gracefully 
through its entire duration. 
The band’s greatest strength is 
inarguably the quality of each 
individual who brings these 
songs to life. Every instrument 
holds a significant weight in 
every song — not a single note 
goes to waste.
And to add to their impressive 
skill, the band was more than 
happy to banter with the crowd, 
lightening 
the 
mood 
while 
showing their own comfort 
and 
ease 
on 
stage. 
Quips 
from Quinlan included “You 
already paid your money, I hate 
Metallica!” and “Keep your shirt 
on, Jim!” referencing the boho 
aesthetic of Jim Morrison.
While touring in support of 
their newest album, Hop Along 
still included tracks from their 
previous 
records, 
rounding 
out a 14-track setlist that truly 
reflected 
the 
diversity 
and 
growth in their songwriting. Fan 
favorites included wonderful 
and poppy songs like “Tibetan 
Pop Stars” and “The Knock,” 
while deep cuts “Kids on the 
Boardwalk” and “Texas Funeral” 
were resounded back by the 
long time fans in the audience. 
When words seem to fail, Hop 
Along does the heavylifting with 
their songwriting, finding ways 
to convey feeling in their little 
narratives carried over fusions 
of pop, rock, indie and the 
occasional dash of folk.

Hop Along is 
turning heads

DOMINIC POLSINELLI
Senior Arts Editor

CONCERT REVIEW

ELI RALLO
Daily Food Columnist

6A — Tuesday, September 4, 2018
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

