Welcome “bAAck,” welcome
home,
welcome
freshmen,
welcome all … Welcome Week.
Nothing screams the start of
the school year quite like kiddie
pools filled with sweat and
beer, freshmen running around
campus without chaperones for
the first time in their lives and
eating and drinking as though
your body is a garbage disposal.
Oftentimes I commit myself to
portraying the world of food
and wine on this campus as
sophisticated, graceful and classy.
And while I will attest to the fact
that the students on this campus
effuse elegance in their palettes
when it comes to good food, that
the Ann Arbor restaurants are top
notch and unique and that a vast
majority of Michigan students
would
consider
themselves
“foodies,” I cannot sugarcoat the
one time of year that all of that
foodie knowledge goes flying
out the door. That special time
of the year is Welcome Week. In
honor of the end of such a sacred,
foul
and
so-forgettable-that-
it’s-memorable week and the
beginning of Syllabus Week, I have
compiled the official Welcome
Week Food and Beverage Pairing
Recommendations to ensure that
you celebrated the start of the
2018–2019 school year with the
perfect mix of class and utter
disgrace.
No Thai and Yellow Tail
Pinot Grigio: It wouldn’t be
Welcome Week without No Thai,
which means at least two days
worth of leftover fried rice for just
under $10. When splurging on
your Thai food feast — in between
forkfuls of oily, glistening pad
thai noodles spattered with fried
egg and onion — I recommend a
nice, chilled glass of Yellow Tail
Pinot Grigio. The perfect mix
of elegance and efficiency when
curing a hangover. Yellow Tail
also balances and counters the
potential spice involved in various
No Thai dishes, making it all the
more mild and enjoyable.
Pancheros and Mango Four
Loko: If you’re desperate enough
to opt for Pancheros vs Chipotle
or BTB, you’re desperate enough
to have a casual dinner time
Floko. The casual Four Loko has
been opposed and look down
upon, but truly, if you are on the
road to sprinting the marathon
that is Welcome Week, there’s no
better way to do it then a Floko
+ Pancheros pairing. I’d opt for
a chicken quesadilla with a side
of chips and guac, keep things
simple and traditional on the food
end to make way for the real star
of the show: the beverage. Wait
until you are truly desperate and
at your wits end before trying this
dangerous duo, you may not make
it to the next darty.
Leftover
Domino’s
and
lukewarm Natty Lite: This
pairing may sound like your
worst nightmare. But imagine
it like this: You stumble out of
bed at 7:00 a.m. with a blaring
headache, an unwelcome Svedka
taste in the back of your mouth
and the sudden urge to yak. You
walk into your kitchen for a cup
of water, but what’s there? Your
roommate’s half eaten Domino’s
pizza and a can of not-cold-but-
not-warm Natural Lite beer. You
reach for the pizza and crack
open a lukewarm one, not with
the boys, but simply yourself
and realize that you were always
destined to hit this rare form of
rock bottom.
Rod’s Diner and Barefoot
Moscato: How much sugar is
too much sugar? In the event of
Welcome Week, there is never
enough sugar. Dessert wine is
meant to pair with dessert — and
that’s why Rod’s thick, creamy,
blissful colliders pair perfectly
with the goddess of all sweet
wine: Barefoot Moscato. You may
need some water and perhaps a
pre-pregame nap after this duo
knocks you out.
Amer’s
Açaí
Bowls
and
White Claw: The OFFICIAL
basic Michigan girl Welcome
Week food and drink pairing is
an Amer’s açaí bowl topped with
granola and peanut butter in one
hand and a can of 100 calorie
White Claw hard seltzer in the
other. Due to prime location and
the menu’s opportune breakfast
options, this pairing is also a
definite game day duo, ingested
by all the girls who occupy the
hallowed halls of Arbor Blu,
Landmark and Zaragon.
Fleetwood
Diner
Hippie
Hash and Smirnoff Ice: When
going for the quirkiness that is
Fleetwood Diner, one must always
expect the element of surprise.
And what’s more surprising than
finding a planted Smirnoff Ice
in your Fleetwood booth upon
arrival, planted there by only your
sneakiest friends? After getting
on one knee and making it onto all
of your friends’ snapchat stories
in all your shame and pajamas,
hippie hash will never feel so
right, so fulfilling, so greasy and
so good.
Smoke’s
Poutinerie
and
Kamchatka: Both of these have
something in common: You don’t
know how you got there, you
never intended to get there, you
promised yourself you wouldn’t
get there, but alas, there you
are. Nobody goes out with the
intention to end up at Beaver
Trap eating poutine or taking
pulls of Kamchatka in a sweaty
basement, but nobody goes into
this week with the intention of
meeting many goals either. That’s
why each bite of cheesy, gravy-
drenched
poutine
should
be
washed down with a nice big gulp
of Kamchatka vodka.
Pizza
House
Feta
Bread
and Franzia: Perhaps the most
coveted, most important, most
popular of all food and beverage
pairings during welcome week,
the pair who always knows
five brothers and runs into 24
people they know in the Diag
at any moment of the day, is feta
bread and Franzia. Perhaps it’s
the alliteration, perhaps it’s the
tradition, perhaps it’s the so-bad-
it’s-good sentiment running deep
through both choices — whatever
it is, these two wrongs certainly
make a right. Whether you’re
ordering a late night feta bread
after going out, cozying up in a
midday Pizza House booth or
having a quick pre-nap-and-rally
snack, nothing pairs better with
gooey, cheesy feta bread than a
nice drag of Franzia wine straight
out of the bag.
Rick’s Mind Probe and 7/11
taquitos: What’s in a Mind Probe
and what’s in a taquito from 7/11?
Many of us don’t know the answer
to either. On a normal week I’d
offer the opinion that both are
horrible choices. But something
about the dark, dimly lit staircase
descending into Rick’s juxtaposed
by the blinding, fluorescent 7/11
sign
swinging
ominously
on
South Forest makes me want
to venture a guess that a Rick’s
Mind Probe would be missing
something without the crunch of
a 7/11 taquito between each sip.
I cannot be disappointed by
this campus, though it loses its
foodie attitude for the week
before school begins. Ann Arbor
celebrates so many highs in
the gastronomic field — trendy
restaurants, tasty new dishes
and daring chefs — but we must
remember our late Aug. roots.
Once classes begin and school
is in full swing, the Kombucha
bottles, trendy lattes and ramen
noodle bowls will be all the
rage once more. Until next year,
that is, when we can consult
this trusty guide for the best
recommendations of just what
to pair with that leftover, early
morning feta bread in order to
have the best Welcome Week yet.
Eating through Welcome Week
DAILY FOOD COLUMN
It was a Tuesday night, and
frankly, I wasn’t expecting a
huge turnout — Grand Rapids
isn’t the most accessible city
in Mich., and Tuesdays aren’t
typically ideal for club shows.
I showed up early to check out
the wildly impressive Thin Lips,
whose new record Chosen Family
is a testament to the raw talent
that seems to flow endlessly
from Philadelphia, which is
also home to their tourmates
in Hop Along. After their set,
which included some back-up
vocals from Hop Along’s Frances
Quinlan, I looked around to
notice the crowd had filled out
significantly during the opening
performance, which must have
been near capacity by that point.
Hop Along is clearly turning
heads, especially with their
newest effort Bark Your Head
Off, Dog, which landed them
a feature in Rolling Stone
published the day of the show.
The album is tight, unpredictable
and
thoroughly
impressive
from front to back, featuring
unmatched
composition
and
hairpin changes in tempo and
atmosphere.
In
all
honesty,
the album is so ambitious
and complex I was worried it
wouldn’t fare nearly as well live.
My worries were entirely quelled
by the end of their opening track
(and new album opener), “How
Simple.”
Hop Along’s related artists on
Spotify include Jeff Rosenstock,
Lemuria and Glocca Morra, who
all are barely tangential to Hop
Along in terms of similarity.
Much like Spotify’s difficulty
in finding similar artists (likely
because there aren’t any), I won’t
pretend to have the vocabulary
to
accurately
describe
Hop
Along’s
musicianship.
Even
within the confines of a live
setting, their art is absolutely
stunning;
Quinlan’s
vocals
range from desperate yells to
soft musings, best exemplified
during “Not Abel,” a sprawling,
biblically-charged
track
split
into two distinct sections that
the band navigated gracefully
through its entire duration.
The band’s greatest strength is
inarguably the quality of each
individual who brings these
songs to life. Every instrument
holds a significant weight in
every song — not a single note
goes to waste.
And to add to their impressive
skill, the band was more than
happy to banter with the crowd,
lightening
the
mood
while
showing their own comfort
and
ease
on
stage.
Quips
from Quinlan included “You
already paid your money, I hate
Metallica!” and “Keep your shirt
on, Jim!” referencing the boho
aesthetic of Jim Morrison.
While touring in support of
their newest album, Hop Along
still included tracks from their
previous
records,
rounding
out a 14-track setlist that truly
reflected
the
diversity
and
growth in their songwriting. Fan
favorites included wonderful
and poppy songs like “Tibetan
Pop Stars” and “The Knock,”
while deep cuts “Kids on the
Boardwalk” and “Texas Funeral”
were resounded back by the
long time fans in the audience.
When words seem to fail, Hop
Along does the heavylifting with
their songwriting, finding ways
to convey feeling in their little
narratives carried over fusions
of pop, rock, indie and the
occasional dash of folk.
Hop Along is
turning heads
DOMINIC POLSINELLI
Senior Arts Editor
CONCERT REVIEW
ELI RALLO
Daily Food Columnist
6A — Tuesday, September 4, 2018
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com