This weekend I sat in the
library, rigorously trying to finish
an essay. Music was playing, my
feet were tapping and my fingers
were frantically traveling back and
forth between my mouth and the
keyboard. I like to believe that if
I don’t bite my nails while I write
essays, I could probably get more
words on the page. Yet no matter
how conscious I try to be about
my anxious habits, I still fall into
them.
I try to hide my nails from
everybody. Having large hands as
it is, I’m extremely self-conscious
when it comes to my hands and
fingers. I’ve been a nail biter since
I was a kid, and although it has
gotten better over time — like
attending hypnotherapy sessions
and meditating to become more
present and aware of my actions —
I still abuse my nails at least once a
day. Like most people with habits,
I hate admitting this to myself and
to the public.
Many people have anxious
habits even when they don’t know
it: teeth grinding, nail picking,
pencil chewing. Although our
minds are listening to lectures or
reading our textbooks, there is
our subconscious mind, sending
us
messages
to
mindlessly
wander off into a long list of
events,
assignments,
people,
work, fears and more. When this
happens, we’re probably worried
or anxious about them, and when
that stress builds, we have to
transfer that energy somewhere.
Sadly, we mainly transfer this
energy to ourselves, where verbs
like “grinding,” “picking” and
“chewing” are used against our
own bodies.
Some habits, however, can be
completely innocent and safe, like
tapping your foot or twirling your
hair. But it’s important to highlight
the more dangerous habits like nail
baiting, binge cigarette smoking or
eating and even dermatillomania,
the act of skin picking. I’ve been
that girl who has picked the one
small bump on my face until it
bleeds, and to be quite honest, I
have no reason for it. Habits like
these can cause immense damage
to our interior and exterior bodies
without us witnessing each step of
a progressive destruction.
For me, anxiety is like an itch I
can’t scratch — it’s there and I can
feel it, but I struggle to find the
exact spot and alleviate it. So when
I see something that irks me, like
a hangnail or a zit, I want it to go
away as soon as possible and I go
at it. I take something microscopic
and make it a bigger deal than it
is, just like I do with my anxious
thoughts.
Despite all the years of intense,
anxious habits, there is never a
wrong time to try and cure them.
I was 19 when I went to my first
hypnotherapy session (when in
reality I should have gone when
I was younger), and it was there
where I learned the importance
of diving into my subconscious,
finding out what it was exactly that
I was anxious about and learning
to control stressful thoughts. I,
along with many, learned that my
anxious thoughts and habits were
subconsciously developed as a
child, and my brain chose to carry
that stress as I grew older.
It took a few sessions and
my own meditative practices
to really become present and to
acknowledge the danger (and
disgust) of this habit. When I put
my fingers to my mouth, I am more
aware that they are there and that
what I was doing was actually
painful. In a way, I bring more
feeling and presence to this area of
my body, which is hard considering
I am so embarrassed by my fingers.
It’s an active, mindful and
incredibly
difficult
challenge
to
continuously
tame
your
subconscious, but it’s surely not
impossible. Even though I attended
hypnotherapy (which is not the
only option), I’m still attempting to
cure my anxious habits. I’ve played
with rubber bands to entertain
my fingers or twist my rings as an
alternative fidgeting activity. I take
a deep breath and mentally take a
step back. Meditation has taught
me to be present in the moment,
which can take away from those
spiraling, anxious thoughts and
put myself back into reality.
Acknowledging your anxious
habit is the first step to ending
them.
Whether
it’s
through
exercise, writing or meditation,
I have found different methods
of building self-awareness and
mindful presence in order to
maintain a calm head and physical
space. My fingers are used for
typing and climbing and guitar
playing. My fingers can be used
to craft and create and cook. The
more we can transfer our anxious
energies
into
positive,
useful
activities, the closer we are to
winning our individual battles
against anxiety.
A bad force of habit
HEALTH & WELLNESS COLUMN
ERIKA
SHEVCHEK
TV INTERVIEW
ALBUM REVIEW
5 — Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Arts
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
On ‘Invasion of Privacy’
Cardi B is taking names
Cardi B has written a holy text
for self-assurance, and its name is
Invasion of Privacy.
The rapper started gaining
attention in 2015 as an internet
celebrity and cast member of “Love
& Hip Hop: New York.” Since
then, she has signed with Atlantic
Records and released two complete
mixtapes, Gangsta Bitch Music Vol.
1 and Gangsta Bitch Music Vol. 2,
in the span of less than a year. She
was bold; she was brash; she was
explicit and unapologetic about
it. Then “Bodak Yellow” came out
— her debut single — and when it
captured the nation’s attention,
it didn’t just show us exactly
who Cardi B was going to be. It
showed us who she already was:
independent, brave and packing
talent in every single word.
Invasion of Privacy does not
disappoint. From the curtain-
drawing opener, “Get Up 10,”
all the way through the final
epilogue, “I Do,” Cardi B’s debut
studio album is an explosion of
bravado, irresistible beats and
lyrical mastery. There isn’t a single
track that does not demand the
attention of the listener. Cardi sings
about money and sex, she disses
her enemies and references her
relationship with Offset of Migos,
and every step of the way, she has
something to flaunt. Maybe this is
part of why she has registered so
much with the public as an agent
of empowerment: She’s an expert,
and listening to her music, you can’t
help but want to be an expert, too.
The album makes use of its many
featuring tracks, pairing Cardi with
well-known artists like Migos,
Chance The Rapper, Kehlani, 21
Savage and SZA. In all of these
cases, the artists’ talents are well
matched. However, the real appeal
of the album comes from Cardi
herself, who fills in every track
with the same insistent rhythms
that made singles like “Bodak
Yellow” and “Bartier Cardi” so
popular. She repeats herself with
new intonations, using hypnotic
beats as her backdrops, making
each line even more impactful than
the one before it.
The lyrics are nothing to
underestimate,
either.
Cardi
slides from one line into the next
with words so deftly chosen, it’s
necessary to listen to each song
more than once in order to fully
appreciate the lexical complexity.
“Only time that I’m a lady’s when
I lay these hoes to rest,” from “I
Do,” has to be the freshest pun of
the entire year so far. And then
there’s the title of the song, which
sets up expectations that the song
will have something to do with
marriage, only to knock them down
with the chorus: “I do / What I like,
I do, I do.” From “I got enough
bras, y’all ain’t gotta support me”
in “Get Up 10” to Chance The
Rapper’s line about “(turning) all
my L’s into lessons” in “Best Life,”
the wordplay that spans the entire
album is artful and sharp.
As unafraid as Cardi B is of
baring her confrontational side,
she also doesn’t shy away from
the more personal. In “Best Life,”
she calls out her haters: “‘Cardi B
is so problematic’ is the hashtag /
I can’t believe they wanna see me
lose that bad.” But “Be Careful”
is probably her best example of
vulnerability, a tender track in
which Cardi warns her lover, “My
heart is like a package with a fragile
label on it, be careful with me.”
With questions like, “Do you know
what you doin’? / Whose feelings
that you’re hurtin’ and bruisin’?
/ You gon’ gain the whole world /
But is it worth the girl that you’re
losin’?” and promises that the song
is “not a threat, it’s a warning,” “Be
Careful” is where Cardi proves that
she can draw just as much strength
from vulnerability as she can from
anywhere else.
Just like Cardi, Invasion of
Privacy is impossible to shake out
of one’s mind. She’s soft on “Be
Careful,” imperious and explosive
on “Bickenhead” and unstoppable
all the way through. The album
makes full use of her talents and
her almost unrivaled personality
and bravery. One could say that
now that Cardi B is famous, her
talent isn’t going anywhere, but in
a sense, that would be wrong: It’s
going straight up, with no sign of
stopping.
LAURA DZUBAY
Daily Arts Writer
ATLANTIC
Invasion of
Privacy
Cardi B
Atlantic Records
HBO
Co-creators Bill Hader
& Alec Berg talk ‘Barry’
A good actor feels everything
and lives in the spotlight. A good
hitman feels nothing and lives in
the shadows. It’s impossible to be
both. Or is it?
This is the question that HBO’s
“Barry” sets out to answer. The
30 minute black comedy follows
a Midwestern hitman named
Barry (Bill Hader, “Saturday
Night Live”), who travels to Los
Angeles to kill a man, stumbles
into an acting class and decides
to leave his life of crime behind to
become an actor. Of course, this
is easier said than done. Barry
soon finds himself living a double
life, killing by day and exploring
the theatre scene by night. What
results is a deeply affecting,
sharply written and genuinely
funny show that explores what
it’s like when “the thing you’re
good at is weirdly destroying
you.”
The Daily had the opportunity
to speak with Bill Hader and
Alec Berg (“Silicon Valley”), the
show’s co-creators, writers and,
in Hader’s case, the star.
Hader
and
Berg
began
brainstorming the show back
in early 2014 after their mutual
agent
suggested
they
work
together. Though Hader and
Berg didn’t know each other well
at the time, they ran in the same
comedy circles and both had
individual deals with HBO.
“The winds were pushing
us together,” remarked Berg.
After a few months of writing
and one discarded idea, Hader
and Berg decided to focus on a
phenomenon that had previously
tormented Hader: “The idea of
being very gifted at something
you derive no pleasure from.”
This is referencing Hader’s
time as a cast member on
“Saturday Night Live,” during
which he suffered from crippling
performance
anxiety.
It’s
a
fascinating contradiction, being
tortured by talent — one that Berg
and Hader wanted to further
explore. After isolating the heart
of the show, Berg explained that,
“we pretty quickly landed on a
guy who’s really good at killing
but hates it, and what he wants to
do is act.”
It’s certainly a bizarre premise,
but it works. It works very well.
This is a testament to the
quality of both the writing and
acting on “Barry.” (Hopefully)
neither Berg nor Hader have
experience as hitmen, so they
conducted extensive research on
the profession to accurately fill
out the show. This is not Berg’s
first time working on a research-
heavy project — learning the tech
world of “Silicon Valley” required
similar preparations.
In both shows, Berg noted
a similar trend: “You know
you’re on track for something
interesting if the craziest stuff
you imagine is not as interesting
as the real stuff you find.”
Interesting
is
not
always
pleasant. “Barry” required its
writers to watch torture videos
and learn what getting shot
actually looks like. Berg and
Hader also visited many Los
Angeles acting classes, which
can be either a wonderful or
miserable experience, depending
on who you ask.
Berg recalls how surprised
he was when, “we saw a woman
do an exercise where the acting
teacher kind of humiliated her
to the point where she broke
down crying and, in the end, she
thanked him for allowing her to
access that.”
This scene is almost exactly
replicated in the pilot when
Barry stumbles into that fateful
acting
class
while
trailing
Ryan
Madison
(Tyler
Jacob
Moore, “Shameless”), the man
he’s supposed to kill. There,
he witnesses acting coach and
self-proclaimed
genius
Gene
Cousineau
(Henry
Winkler,
“Holes”) berate flighty actress
Sally (Sarah Goldberg, “The Dark
Knight Rises”) until she breaks
down into tears.
“To the outside observer it
looks like abuse but actors we
talked to were like, ‘Oh, yeah,
that’s an exercise,’” said Berg.
It
is
this
subversion
of
expectations
which
makes
“Barry” so special. The show
doesn’t shy away from dark
subject matter; rather, “Barry”
embraces it. Beyond its hitman
storylines,
“Barry”
offers
glimpses into the less-glamorous
side of working as an actor
in Hollywood. As the season
continues, the narrative takes
breaks from Barry’s journey and
follows other actors in his class.
The ability to tell heavy, dark
stories in short beats and still find
comedy in those hard moments
is one of the show’s greatest
strengths. No matter where the
characters are — an audition,
a party, a Chechen mobster’s
garage — there is humor, heart
and heartbreak. As Hader put it,
“It’s not like that movie ‘La La
Land.’”
Though “Barry” is certainly
not like “La La Land,” the
production process sounded like
something of a fantasy.
“It was this thing where you
really look forward to going into
work every day. It never felt like
an obligation,” Hader recalled.
“There’s usually a thing on
shows where there’s one a-hole,
you know like, ‘Ugh, we have
to work around the a-hole,’ and
on this show — I guess it means
that we’re the a-holes — no, there
were no a-holes on the show,”
Berg added. “Everyone’s there
to do great work and there’s
none of that ego nonsense. On a
lot of shows, the actors are very
concerned with who has more
lines or who looks cooler or who
has a better trailer. Everyone was
here to make the show better and
that’s when things really work
… when everyone’s there for the
right reasons.”
That everyone’s there for the
right reasons is evident on screen.
“Barry” is a weird, wonderful
triumph, and a killer piece of
television.
“Barry” currently airs Sundays
at 10:30 p.m. on HBO.
EMILY BICE
Daily Arts Writer
NOiR Runway to present
Exogenesis fashion show
Student organization NOiR
Runway will be hosting its 19th
annual fashion show, entitled
“Exogenesis,” on Saturday, Apr.
14 at the Biomedical Science
Research Building.
“My executive board, models
and I have worked tirelessly
to bring the student body
a show they won’t forget,”
wrote Taylor Williams, NOiR’s
president
and
Ross
junior.
“With the help of our models,
assistants,
sponsors,
and
audience members we hope
to execute a worthwhile show
that’s
entertaining,
eventful
and memorable.”
According
to
Williams,
Exogenesis will feature clothing
from well-known designers and
upcoming creatives alike. The
looks, coupled with production
design, will offer audience
members an extra-terrestrial
experience.
“Our
theme
‘Exogenesis’
surrounds
the
unknown,”
wrote Williams. “The place
where creativity and flyness
come together and go hand
in hand beautifully. Deriving
from the Greek term exo-
meaning ‘outside’ and genesis-
meaning ‘origin,’ these words
come together to hypothesize
that life might have originated
elsewhere in the universe and
then spread to Earth. With a
ticket to our charity runway
show and our models as our
muses, we are set to launch
the audience towards fashion
elsewhere in the universe.”
The runway show begins at
7:00 p.m., while doors open to
VIPs at 6:00 p.m. and to the
general public at 6:30 p.m..
Tickets range from $17 (General
Admission)
to
$35
(VIP)
and may be purchased here.
Proceeds from Exogenesis will
support Wish Upon A Teen, a
metro Detroit-based nonprofit
dedicated
to
providing
opportunities
to
teenagers
with
life-limiting
medical
conditions.
For
more
information
about
NOiR
Runway,
visit
noirrunway.org.
For
more
information about Wish Upon
A Teen, visit wishuponateen.
org.
TESS GARCIA
Daily Style Editor
STYLE PREVIEW
“Exegenesis”
Biomedical Science
Research Building
Sat. Apr. 14 @ 7
p.m.
GA $17, Preferred
Exclusive $20, VIP
$35