I

’m trying to write this column at
Blue Leprechaun, a bar and grill
on South University Avenue.

A$AP Ferg’s “Plain Jane” is playing
over the speakers and Bayern Munich is
currently beating Borussia Dortmund
five goals to nil. The other people at
the table are enjoying their Saturday,
camped out playing cards while waiting
for Michigan men’s basketball to tip
off in the Final Four against Loyola-
Chicago and Sister Jean.

I’ve been continuously asking people

for ideas for this piece but I’ve shot
down every one out of stubbornness. My
sister just texted me a video of my dog. I
feel like I’m actually doing a “stream of
consciousness” piece like the ones I read
in AP English. I remember reading those
and not understanding one word of them.

I’m going to be honest, I had no idea

what to write about in this column. Elise
Laarman, my co-copy chief, and I pitched
the Copy That series to our copy editors.

No one signed up to write the April 4
column, so I took one for the team.

My initial ideas included writing

about how golf relates to Copy, how my
alternative spring break experience
connects to Copy, the joy of being
an arbiter of words at The Michigan
Daily and an examination of the
future of copy editing. In the end,
I’m not confident writing about any
of these topics. Maybe this lack of
creativity is why I’m a copy editor and
not writing editorial columns or TV
reviews. I mean, my predecessor wrote
something similar in a previous Copy
That article. Maybe it’s in our DNA.

I like to think I’m creative in real life,

but just not in my writing. I can live not
being creative in my writing — I don’t
aspire to write the next great American
novel. The only idea about which I could
write a lot is golf and Tiger Woods, but I
need at least 2,000 words to do that and
it still would have way too much going

on. But here we are. My 800 words on
golf and Tiger Woods are lying in a
different Microsoft Word document
saved as “Copy That.” This is “Copy
That Two.”

I realize this is turning into the

ramblings of someone who wasn’t meant
to write a column. Angela Lin wrote in
her Copy That article that it was never
meant to exist. I understand that.

I initially wanted to join Opinion when

I came to The Daily before I was steered
to Copy. Imagine my columns. I have deep
respect for our columnists.

My friend Matt Harmon writes the

“Soundtracking” column every other
week, and it’s incredible. But that makes
sense. That’s his passion. He loves to write.
I love sports, politics, barbeque chips,
my Co-Copy Chief Elise Laarman and, of
course, editing. But writing is not editing
and it requires a whole different set of skills.

This whole process reminds me of

Michael Scott in “The Office” episode

when they have to make a local ad. Scott
says, “Has anyone told you you’re not
creative? That’s outrageous. I love this
place!” Michael Scott has my back. I’m
much more appreciative of being a copy
editor now and not having to worry
about creative content every week. Arts
and Opinion and the Statement can
handle this creative content stuff. I’ll
stick to being a copy editor.

I feel like I’m stealing this from

Matt too. He wrote a “Soundtracking”
column about not knowing what to
write about earlier in the semester
and I enjoyed it very much. I just want
Matt to know I’m not stealing this
format, but rather it’s an homage to his
creative work.

Sadia Jiban wrote a wonderful Copy

That column about how copy editors
see what others don’t. It’s a very true
sentiment. As a copy editor, I now see
why I am not a writer for our paper.

Elise Laarman wrote a great piece on

styling her hometown of St. Louis. Sadly,
there is only one way to style Houghton,
MI so the nice piece about home is out
the window.

I’ve thought about what I’m going to

do after my time as copy chief and I’ve
thought being a columnist would be fun.
Right now, it’s not sounding super fun.

I’m starting to think I pass over ideas

because I want the perfect idea and
then the perfect column. But that’s not
possible. You can write good, even great,
columns, but not perfect ones. With
copy editing, you can edit perfectly for
style and facts. AP Style is definitive
and facts are indisputable. Not to say I
edit every piece perfectly but it’s more
attainable. I had to hand this column off
to Elise for some editing and she gave
me this analogy: Creating something
out of nothing is hard. Like mining for
diamonds. Writers dig the rock, editors
polish the gems.

Well I’ve hit my word count and

I am going to close out this column.
Ironically, my own column will hit my
desk on Tuesday night before print on
Wednesday. Hopefully I won’t leave too
many copy notes for myself.

2B

Managing Statement Editor:

Brian Kuang

Deputy Editors:

Colin Beresford

Jennifer Meer

Rebecca Tarnopol

Photo Editor:

Amelia Cacchione

Editor in Chief:

Alexa St. John

Managing Editor:

Dayton Hare

Copy Editors:

Elise Laarman

Finntan Storer

Wednesday, April 4, 2018// The Statement

Copy That: Waiting for Michigan to tip off

statement

THE MICHIGAN DAILY | APRIL 4, 2018

BY FINN STORER, COPY CHIEF

ILLUSTRATION BY BETSY STUBBS