T

here’s nothing like waking up 
to a blue sky and shining sun. 
Rolling out of bed doesn’t 

seem quite so hard when you know that 
waiting for you is the warm embrace of 
sunshine on your face and the sweet 
taste of finally-seasonally-appropriate 
iced coffee. You get dressed, put on a 
light coat and step outside to meet the 
beautiful day.

But wait — instead of the warm 

sun, you are abruptly confronted by 
an icy wind that stings your skin. It’s 
almost April. Where is the 60-degree 
weather? Why is it still freezing out?

Spring can be beautiful and exciting, 

but in Michigan, spring is a temptress 
who leaves you cold and disappointed.

What in the heck am I supposed to 

wear?

Deciding what to wear in the spring 

is a constant battle. Is it still sweater 
weather? Can I wear short sleeves? 
Often, I will get dressed in a giant 
sweater and scarf and walk out in my 
parka only to find that by midday I am 
sweltering under all of my layers.

Or conversely, I head to class midday 

in a light jacket and T-shirt only to 
be freezing to death on my late-night 
walk home from the library. The only 
way to accommodate for the weather is 
to pull a “Clueless”-style outfit change 
every few hours.

While 
it 
is 
difficult 
to 
dress 

appropriately for the weather, there is a 
clear portion of the student population 
who do it completely wrong. Perhaps 
University of Michigan students have 
just evolved to be immune to the cold 

in ways I have not, but somehow as 
soon as it is above 50 degrees, half the 
campus is on the Diag in shorts and 
T-shirts, throwing a Frisbee or sitting 
in a hammock.

I don’t know what’s more blinding: 

The reflection of the sun off the 
remaining snow patches or off the calf 
of a pale white boy in shorts? Do you 
not get cold? It’s really not that warm 
out. This truly seems like Stockholm 
syndrome but for Michigan weather.

That one dude who insists that it’s 

still going to snow again

Why are you like this? Who hurt you? 

Can’t you let people be happy? Spring 
is a time for optimism and sunshine. 
Perhaps you are trying to protect me 
from the devious nature of Michigan 
spring, but please do not remind me 

the one day when I am finally enjoying 
the weather.

Constantly predicting that it will 

snow again is like reminding students 
that finals are just around the corner 
during that one week where there 
aren’t any midterms. It’s the calm 
before the storm, and you’re right that 
the storm is coming, but darn it, let a 
girl relax at least long enough to finish 
an iced coffee.

I’m stressed out of my mind and 

can never enjoy the weather when it 
is good

Speaking 
of 
exams 
and 
stress, 

Michigan spring — the cruel being that 
it is — always seems to know when 
students are busiest and then picks 
those days to be warm. Do you have 
an exam tomorrow? What a perfect 
time to make it sunny and 65 degrees 
so you can watch all the other students 
enjoying themselves from the confines 
of the UGLi!

Aside 
from 
offering 
beautiful 

weather when we cannot enjoy it, 
spring also has other ways to make 
us feel bad about ourselves. In this 
atmosphere where everyone seems 
happy and excited about their summers 
comes a stream of Facebook posts 
announcing summer internships and 
fellowship offers which, even if you 
have a job lined up, can make you feel 
inadequate.

Oh great, Josh, the random dude 

from that club I joined freshman year, 
is working for McKinsey this summer 
and Jessica from high school is at 
Google. Meanwhile, I’m stuck here 
just hoping that someone in D.C. will 
be kind enough to actually pay me for 
my services.

Spring has so much potential for 

beauty and new opportunities. We 
look forward to it every year when 
we trudge our way through the snow. 
Although Michigan winters are so 
dreadful even the most expensive 
Canada Goose jacket can’t keep you 
warm, the only people who really enjoy 
spring are the ones lying to themselves 
about what tank-top weather is.

2B

Managing Statement Editor:

Brian Kuang

Deputy Editors:

Colin Beresford

Jennifer Meer

Rebecca Tarnopol

Photo Editor:

Amelia Cacchione

Editor in Chief:

Alexa St. John

Managing Editor:

Dayton Hare

Copy Editors:

Elise Laarman

Finntan Storer

Wednesday, March 28, 2018// The Statement 

Let’s Bitch About It: Spring, you wily 
temptress

statement

THE MICHIGAN DAILY | MARCH 28, 2018

BY LYDIA MURRAY, COLUMNIST

ILLUSTRATION BY BETSY STUBBS

