I
am devoting my first column
after Spring Break to a friend-
requested
topic:
Travel
etiquette. Many students spent this
week-long break from classes traveling
— be it on University-affiliated trips
like
Alternative
Spring
Break
or
definitely-not-University-affiliated
trips to Cancun or Miami or even just a
simple trip home filled with sleep and
pets.
In all of these scenarios, it is likely
that you traveled in some way, from
driving to flying. With travel comes
annoyances from your fellow travelers,
and if you don’t find other travelers
annoying, you are either far nicer than
me or the annoying person yourself.
Am I allowed to recline my seat?
The question of who owns the space
taken up when reclining a seat on a
plane or bus is as controversial as
pineapple on pizza (ew). People spend
$21.95 on Knee Defenders, which
prevent people from leaning back
their airplane seats. However, amid
controversy, the device was banned by
many airlines.
I have heard complaints from many
friends about the issue of shrinking
seats and decreasing legroom, but
since I only stand at 5-foot-3-inches, I
cannot say that this is a problem I can
relate to. In fact, I regularly recline
my seat on airplanes, because why
wouldn’t I?
If I’m not allowed to recline my seat,
why is there a button on my armrest?
And if I have a long flight ahead of me,
I want to be as comfortable as possible.
Why would the airplane include this
feature if I’m not supposed to use it?
And if the person in front of me wants
to recline their seat, I welcome them to
do so.
Of
course,
this
experience
is
different for tall people, but there are
options if the issue is that important
to you. Pay extra for economy plus or
exit row seats on airlines that offer it.
Even if you are traveling on a budget,
the extra cost is not outrageous. If you
don’t feel that it is worth the extra cost,
then remember that you chose not to
pay extra for more legroom before you
get angry with someone for reclining
their seat.
On top of all that, a few hours of
discomfort is a small price to pay given
the other benefits of being tall. You can
reach high shelves, you might be more
likely to be rich and successful and
you might be seen as more attractive (I
would never make it on America’s Next
Top Model). I’m sorry that in this one
area you do not get to exercise your tall
person privilege, but in economy class
on an airplane, we are all equals in seat
size and reclining ability.
Who taught you how to walk?
While there isn’t necessarily a right
way to walk, there are definitely wrong
ways to walk. So here is a list of things
that people need to stop doing.
Walking slowly in a group of more
than two and taking up an entire
walkway:
Please move or I will rudely shove
past you, hitting you with my bag
without remorse. Why do people
always seem to walk slower in groups?
@UMichresearch get on this.
Taking up both sides of a moving
walkway/escalator:
I understand that some people
have their life together and are not
constantly late for things, but please
have mercy on those of us who are
about to miss our flights and move to
the side so I can get past. It is a narrow
space that can fit usually two people,
so please stand to one side.
Stopping/dramatically
slowing
down to look at your phone:
Are you 60 years old? Why do you
need that much concentration to look
at your phone? If you cannot maintain
your velocity and send a text message,
please move to the side before you look
at your phone.
How
about
you
manspread
yourself away from me?
I honestly don’t understand how
manspreading is still such a large
issue. You tell women to close their
legs to solve unwanted pregnancies,
but you can’t do the same thing? I’m
talking to you white-haired, tattooed
man with the scruffy beard on my
flight over break. And to you, sweaty
man in shorts that are too short on the
bus.
Women are stuck cringing and
sitting on the far side of their seat
in order to avoid the discomfort
of
touching
some
strange
man’s
leg. Why is this necessary? Is it a
display of male dominance? Are you
overcompensating? It’s not even a
comfortable way to sit.
Just please stop.
Did your infant really enjoy the
family vacay?
On my flight back to Michigan, I had
the unfortunate experience of sitting
near four infants and three toddlers,
courtesy of five different families.
Several times I made eye contact
with the flight attendant in mutual
understanding that there is nothing
worse than babies on a plane.
I don’t understand the compulsion
to bring your young child on vacation.
They are not going to remember any
of it, and you are just making the
trip worse on yourself. Are you really
enjoying your trip if your child still
cannot sleep through the night? How
can you enjoy a beach or sightseeing
if you have to push a stroller and
constantly worry about the well-being
of a small child?
I understand that parenting is
difficult, but it was your choice to have
the child. Please do your best to stop it
from running up and down the aisles
and screaming for the entire duration
of the flight. Not everyone finds it cute
when your unrestrained toddler stares
at them for an entire two-hour flight.
Please spare the rest of us (and
likely improve the quality of your own
vacation) and leave the kid with their
grandparents during your vacation,
until they can at least use the bathroom
and eat on their own.
While most of us will be stuck on
campus for another few weeks, please
keep these helpful tips in mind the
next time your travel. If you do not,
then know you will be the victim of
angry stares throughout your journey.
Wednesday, March 14, 2018 // The Statement
6B
Let’s Bitch About It: Travel etiquette
BY LYDIA MURRAY, COLUMNIST
ILLUSTRATION BY HANNAH MYERS