I 

am devoting my first column 
after Spring Break to a friend-
requested 
topic: 
Travel 

etiquette. Many students spent this 
week-long break from classes traveling 
— be it on University-affiliated trips 
like 
Alternative 
Spring 
Break 
or 

definitely-not-University-affiliated 
trips to Cancun or Miami or even just a 
simple trip home filled with sleep and 
pets.

In all of these scenarios, it is likely 

that you traveled in some way, from 
driving to flying. With travel comes 
annoyances from your fellow travelers, 
and if you don’t find other travelers 
annoying, you are either far nicer than 
me or the annoying person yourself.

Am I allowed to recline my seat?
The question of who owns the space 

taken up when reclining a seat on a 
plane or bus is as controversial as 
pineapple on pizza (ew). People spend 
$21.95 on Knee Defenders, which 
prevent people from leaning back 
their airplane seats. However, amid 
controversy, the device was banned by 
many airlines. 

I have heard complaints from many 

friends about the issue of shrinking 
seats and decreasing legroom, but 
since I only stand at 5-foot-3-inches, I 
cannot say that this is a problem I can 

relate to. In fact, I regularly recline 
my seat on airplanes, because why 
wouldn’t I?

If I’m not allowed to recline my seat, 

why is there a button on my armrest? 
And if I have a long flight ahead of me, 
I want to be as comfortable as possible. 
Why would the airplane include this 
feature if I’m not supposed to use it? 
And if the person in front of me wants 
to recline their seat, I welcome them to 
do so.

Of 
course, 
this 
experience 
is 

different for tall people, but there are 
options if the issue is that important 
to you. Pay extra for economy plus or 
exit row seats on airlines that offer it. 
Even if you are traveling on a budget, 
the extra cost is not outrageous. If you 
don’t feel that it is worth the extra cost, 
then remember that you chose not to 
pay extra for more legroom before you 
get angry with someone for reclining 
their seat.

On top of all that, a few hours of 

discomfort is a small price to pay given 
the other benefits of being tall. You can 
reach high shelves, you might be more 
likely to be rich and successful and 
you might be seen as more attractive (I 
would never make it on America’s Next 
Top Model). I’m sorry that in this one 
area you do not get to exercise your tall 

person privilege, but in economy class 
on an airplane, we are all equals in seat 
size and reclining ability.

Who taught you how to walk?
While there isn’t necessarily a right 

way to walk, there are definitely wrong 
ways to walk. So here is a list of things 
that people need to stop doing.

Walking slowly in a group of more 

than two and taking up an entire 
walkway:

Please move or I will rudely shove 

past you, hitting you with my bag 
without remorse. Why do people 
always seem to walk slower in groups? 
@UMichresearch get on this.

Taking up both sides of a moving 

walkway/escalator:

I understand that some people 

have their life together and are not 
constantly late for things, but please 
have mercy on those of us who are 
about to miss our flights and move to 
the side so I can get past. It is a narrow 
space that can fit usually two people, 
so please stand to one side.

Stopping/dramatically 
slowing 

down to look at your phone:

Are you 60 years old? Why do you 

need that much concentration to look 
at your phone? If you cannot maintain 
your velocity and send a text message, 
please move to the side before you look 

at your phone.

How 
about 
you 
manspread 

yourself away from me?

I honestly don’t understand how 

manspreading is still such a large 
issue. You tell women to close their 
legs to solve unwanted pregnancies, 
but you can’t do the same thing? I’m 
talking to you white-haired, tattooed 
man with the scruffy beard on my 
flight over break. And to you, sweaty 
man in shorts that are too short on the 
bus.

Women are stuck cringing and 

sitting on the far side of their seat 
in order to avoid the discomfort 
of 
touching 
some 
strange 
man’s 

leg. Why is this necessary? Is it a 
display of male dominance? Are you 
overcompensating? It’s not even a 
comfortable way to sit.

Just please stop.
Did your infant really enjoy the 

family vacay?

On my flight back to Michigan, I had 

the unfortunate experience of sitting 
near four infants and three toddlers, 
courtesy of five different families. 
Several times I made eye contact 
with the flight attendant in mutual 
understanding that there is nothing 
worse than babies on a plane.

I don’t understand the compulsion 

to bring your young child on vacation. 
They are not going to remember any 
of it, and you are just making the 
trip worse on yourself. Are you really 
enjoying your trip if your child still 
cannot sleep through the night? How 
can you enjoy a beach or sightseeing 
if you have to push a stroller and 
constantly worry about the well-being 
of a small child?

I understand that parenting is 

difficult, but it was your choice to have 
the child. Please do your best to stop it 
from running up and down the aisles 
and screaming for the entire duration 
of the flight. Not everyone finds it cute 
when your unrestrained toddler stares 
at them for an entire two-hour flight.

Please spare the rest of us (and 

likely improve the quality of your own 
vacation) and leave the kid with their 
grandparents during your vacation, 
until they can at least use the bathroom 
and eat on their own.

While most of us will be stuck on 

campus for another few weeks, please 
keep these helpful tips in mind the 
next time your travel. If you do not, 
then know you will be the victim of 
angry stares throughout your journey.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018 // The Statement
6B

Let’s Bitch About It: Travel etiquette

BY LYDIA MURRAY, COLUMNIST

ILLUSTRATION BY HANNAH MYERS

