3B
Wednesday, February 21 2018 // The Statement
Let’s Bitch About It:
Your study space is trash
W
hen not fawning over Reggie
or tailgating before football
games (both of which are
overrated), most students spend their
time outside of class studying for said
classes. Students spend night after night
in various study spaces cramming for
exams, having mental breakdowns or
procrastinating on Facebook.
However, despite these long hours
spent studying, the ideal study spot
(especially for late-night workers) can be
hard to find. Coffee shops close, studying
at home too easily leads to Netflix or
sleeping, and the Law Library never
seems to have an open table.
A lack of options leads to students
cramming
into
bleak
study
spots
featuring loud patrons, dirty bathrooms
and ugly views.
The
University
of
Michigan
is
decidedly
beautiful.
Every
other
Instagram has a photo of the inside of
Hatcher during finals season or the Law
Quadrangle during the first snow. Why
does it seem that there are maybe four
spots on campus worthy of Instagram
but the rest of the widely-known study
spaces are generally trash?
The Shapiro Undergraduate Library
Appearance: 1/10
Environment: 0/10
Productivity: 2/10
The UGLi is notorious for being the
worst study space on campus. Despite
this infamy, there are never any open
tables. The second you walk into the
building you can feel the unhealthy mix
of procrastination and stress.
The third and fourth floors can be
nice if you get one of those tables by the
windows, but of course, the only way
to get one of those is to sell your soul
to Mark Schlissel himself or study at 10
p.m. on a Saturday.
The UGLi earns the descriptor of the
seventh circle of Hell due to the less-
than-studious students who populate
the first and second floors. I personally
prefer not to hear about Chad from Tau
Mu Delta’s wild night at Skeeps while
trying to do my homework. Legend has
it even when the second floor appears
completely empty, you can still hear the
sound of a frat star dragging his Timbs
while walking.
I would also like to remind my fellow
library patrons that the UGLi is not a
restaurant where you and your pals can
eat and catch up: I do not want to have
to smell your greasy food. Yet you cannot
walk through the UGLi after 10 p.m.
without seeing at least four Pizza House
boxes and likely a mix of Chipotle,
Buffalo Wild Wings and Jimmy Johns.
Does the party of 10 talking loudly next
to me not have any homework to do?
The
UGLi
is
a
hotbed
of
procrastination as groups of friends
sit around complaining that they are
incredibly busy and stressed out while
actually getting no work done. Then
suddenly when midnight hits, half of the
population begins leaving after finishing
little to no work. Meanwhile, the other
half realizes the error of their ways
and proceeds to cram their work before
ultimately going to bed at 3 a.m. under
entirely preventable circumstances.
The Stacks
Appearance: 1.5/10
Environment: 2/10
Productivity: 3.5/10
I understand the appeal of a quiet,
private study space, but the Stacks offers
the same sort of silent solidarity as a
prison cell. The uniform boxes do nothing
to motivate the young student, offering
only a window to the outside world full of
free individuals.
The Stacks is the place fake, tortured
freshman gather to stress over a five-
page intro-level English essay, which
apparently requires an all-nighter to
finish. It’s the place where you stress out
over your first Math 116 exam, which you
plan to spend 36 straight hours studying
for, but you will actually spend much of
this time procrastinating. It’s the place for
students who love the idea of being more
stressed than their friends — the kid who
can’t help but one-up you in workload.
“Oh, you were up until 1:00 a.m. doing
Poli Sci 101? I was in the Stacks until they
closed cramming for this Orgo exam,”
Some freshman who doesn’t understand
how college works yet says.
Stop torturing yourself! It’s not cool to
be stressed out and sleep deprived.
Most people graduate from the Stacks
when they realize it’s not high school
anymore and they learn of better study
spaces. Though there are the few who
never change this mindset (I’m sure you
know at least one).
Ross Winter Gardens
Appearance: 5/10
Environment: 3/10
Productivity: 2/10
Walking into Ross (if you are
not a Ross student) offers the same
internal feeling of a thousand frat boys
asking, “Who do you know here?” It’s
intimidating. It feels like everyone is
watching you with the knowledge that
you are not one of them.
While that feeling can pass with time
(or an acceptance to the minor in my
case), what never passes is the white men
in Canada Goose jackets blocking the
hallway. There is never a shortage of bro
hugs in the Ross Winter Gardens.
From the perspective of being a study
spot, Ross continues to fall short. Ross
students do have the luxury of booking
private study rooms (which is admittedly
nice for group projects), but for any other
student who chooses to study there,
space is often limited to the Winter
Gardens, which are almost always loud,
crowded and weirdly echoic.
Also, why are the chairs and tables
so weird? Is the rounded black plastic
with a strange curvature at the bottom
supposed to be ergonomic? With all the
money tax-avoidance expert Stephen
M. Ross donated, you would think they
could furnish the space with something
better
than
inconveniently
shaped
cheap plastic.
The Michigan Union
Appearance: 4/10
Environment: 3/10
Productivity: 3/10
I love the Union, but I love the Union
as a convenient place to buy coffee on
my way to class, not as a place to study.
I love that I can get food there (Au Bon
Pain is my true love). But I do not know
why I would want to study in the same
place I’m grabbing a quick Blue Bucks-
funded, between-class bite.
Eating should be a time to relax
between classes, studying, work and
all the rest. It’s a time for mindlessly
staring at your phone while shoveling
down the arguably disgusting and
disappointing Panda Express. It is not a
time to try to do your homework.
Conversely, while studying, I do not
want to smell food — or even worse
watch or hear other people eat. If I’m
trying to finish an assignment, I do not
want to smell the nauseating mix of
Wendy’s and Subway while working on
a perpetually sticky table.
There are the few nice study tables
in the two study rooms in the front, but
seating is so limited, so why bother? You
could have the same style of study space
in more beautiful buildings like the
Law Library or in Hatcher’s Reference
Room. Much better to try one of those
places than awkwardly walk into the
Union study room only to have to walk
out again 30 seconds later after finding
all the chairs taken.
As a whole, the Union has its merits,
but at best it’s an aggressively average
study space.
T
here are of course hidden gems
(like Rackham or a few others
which I will not name as to not
publicize my favorite study spots) but
in looking for a nice spot to settle down
for several hours for a late night study
session, options are limited.
Then again, your favorite study spot
may be trash, but if it keeps you out of
mine, feel free to remain blissful in your
ignorance.
BY LYDIA MURRAY, COLUMNIST
ILLUSTRATION BY ROSEANNE CHAO