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ACROSS
1 Send (to), as an
inferior place
9 Partner of Paul
and Mary
14 Trite
15 WWII bomber __
Gay
16 Trifling matters
18 Iroquois enemies
19 Editor’s “never
mind”
20 IRS form IDs
21 One out on the
lake, e.g.
24 Cookie holder
27 Focal point in a
theater
29 That girl
32 18-wheeler
33 Tablet with Mini
and Pro versions
34 John Paul Jones
was a
commander in it
39 Chevy
subcompact
40 Rowlands of “The
Notebook”
41 Originally named
42 May observance
for those who
died in military
service
46 Two-__ tissue
47 Troubled state
48 Has a midnight
snack, say
52 __ upon a time ...
53 Kate’s TV
sidekick
54 Statesman born
2/12/1809 whose
surname can
precede the
starts of four long
puzzle answers
59 Señor’s squiggle
60 Schemed
61 Bottomless
chasm
62 Ones storming
the castle, say

DOWN
1 Lassos
2 Activist Medgar
3 Russian
Revolution leader
4 Diving seabirds
5 Fellows
6 Busy __ bee

7 Bill with Hamilton
on it
8 NYC summer hrs.
9 Be a nuisance to
10 Goes in
11 Promote big-time
12 North Pole worker
13 U.K. flying squad
17 East, to 48-Down
21 “__ there, done
that”
22 “I’ve got this
round”
23 Prickling with
excitement
24 Tokyo’s country
25 Tequila source
26 Color again, as
hair
27 TV forensic
series
28 __ Pan Alley
29 Rascal
30 Ramshackle
home
31 Hostile force
35 In addition
36 Kennedy and
Koppel
37 Gray’s subj.
38 Dismiss from
work temporarily,
with “off”

43 Put spots in
magazines
44 Foot’s 12
45 Side squared, for
a square
48 Legendary
Spanish hero
49 “__ like ours /
Could never 
die ... ”: Beatles
50 Flooring
specialist

51 Mails
52 Paris airport
53 Kendrick of
“Twilight”
54 One step __ 
time
55 Baby’s spilled
food protector
56 1101, to 
Romans
57 Chaney of horror
58 Bill for mdse.

By Jerry Edelstein
©2018 Tribune Content Agency, LLC
02/12/18

02/12/18

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

RELEASE DATE– Monday, February 12, 2018

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

There’s a moment early in 

“Fifty Shades Freed” — the final 
chapter in that most venerated 
saga of smut — where Anastasia 
Grey (Dakota Johnson, “How to 
Be Single”) takes off her bikini 
top and utters the words, “It’s 
boobs in boobland.” I did what 
amounted to an aural double-
take. Surely no one had written 
that line. Someone had to have 
said something. I looked around 
to gauge the reactions of those 
around me. They sat transfixed 
by the glow of the IMAX screen, 
like sexually starved deer in the 
quasi-pornographic headlights. 
I steeled myself and joined them. 
I was in trouble.

Until a short time ago, I 

prided myself on having never 
seen a “Fifty Shades” movie. It’s 
not that I had a problem with 
their audience, I just always 
assumed that if I walked up to 
a box office and said to another 
human being, “One for ‘Fifty 
Shades,’” the parts of my soul not 
shattered by “The Emoji Movie” 
would simply disintegrate. It 
was self-preservation more than 
anything else. I just wasn’t as 
steeped in the “Fifty Shades” 
mythos as I am, say, “Star Wars” 
or “The Room.” I knew the basic 
“boy meets girl, boy introduces 

girl 
to 
poorly 
represented 

BDSM” beats of the story, and 
that’s it.

Then, 
last 
Sunday, 
I 

mentioned to my editor that I 
had seen “Fifty Shades Freed” 
was playing in IMAX and was 
more morbidly curious than 
I’d ever been. This was taken 
as me volunteering to write 
about it, and it was unanimously 
decided by a jury of my peers 
that I would be sent to document 
“Fifty Shades Freed: The IMAX 
2D Experience.” Some small part 
of me expected it to include a 
scratch-and-sniff.

My ticket was ordered online, 

so I had only to deal with the 
judgment of the usher, who took 
it and glanced up at me, her brow 
furrowed. I tried to smile at her. 
That seemed to make it worse. 
She handed my stub back to 
me, and I had to fight the urge 
to sprint past her. I timed my 
entrance to the theater so that 
I took my seat after the lights 
went down, my hood pulled 
over my head like a Benedictine 
monk. Finally, the movie started.

To begin, I have to ask: In 

the era of #MeToo, did no one 
say, “What if we gave our main 
protagonist 
something 
even 

remotely 
resembling 
agency 

in her own story, or at least a 
higher IQ than your average 
Pauly Shore character? And hey, 
what if we make our male lead 

less sexually aggressive instead 
of constantly doubling down on 
his emotionally, mentally and 
physically abusive behavior?”

Christian 
Grey 
(Jamie 

Dornan, “The 9th Life of Louis 
Drax”) is the kind of man who 
at one point says to his wife, 
unironically, “If you love me, 
why do you defy me?” This is 
followed shortly by scenes where 
it seems “Fifty Shades Freed” is 
trying to make a statement on 
rape culture, even while Grey 
himself epitomizes the worst of 
it. It’s cinematic hypocrisy at its 
worst.

Not to worry, no sooner has 

the happy couple been married 
than they’re thrown headfirst 
into an out-of-nowhere thriller 
storyline 
that 
will 
provide 

the illusion of a plot when the 
characters aren’t busy sexing 
each other into oblivion. This 
leads to no less than two scenes 
where Ana, the woman who once 
had to ask what a butt plug is, has 
to act as a getaway driver. These 
moments, and many others, are 
accompanied by one of the most 
invasive, cloying soundtracks 
I’ve ever heard; the parts of 
the film that don’t play like the 
beginning of a mid-budget porno 
play instead like the worst parts 
of a car commercial and a music 
video.

It wasn’t an entirely joyless 

experience. On three separate 

occasions, 
I 
found 
myself 

giggling so hard I had to 
physically stifle my laughter. 
The first of these was my fault, 
as a sex scene accompanied by 
an attempt at a “sexy cover” of 
James Brown’s “I Feel Good” 
caused me to picture the same 
scene dubbed over by the original 
version. This was cancelled 
out by the woman behind me 
starting 
to 
moan 
moments 

later. The second time came 
when someone described Ana 
as “tenacious” after she spent 
the entire movie being shuffled 
around by the manufactured 
drivel of the plot. Finally came 
the scene in which Ana describes 
Christian as a “man of honor.” 
This time I didn’t even try to 
hold my laughter in.

Both 
of 
these 
dunces 

immediately 
assume 
that 

whenever their partner spends 
time with a member of the 
opposite sex, they’re cheating. 
That’s not marriage; that’s high 
school, and they never change. 
As the end credits roll, these are 
the same reprehensible people 
we started with, yet the movie 
is hellbent on convincing its 
audience that this, this is what 
true love looks like. “Fifty Shades 
Freed” is toxic. It’s harmful. 
It’s awful. It lacks any sort of 
self-awareness or redeemable 
qualities. “Tenacious?” “Man of 
honor?” Give me a damn break.

A ‘Fifty Shades’ virgin’s immersive 
guide to seeing ‘Fifty Shades Freed’

JEREMIAH VANDERHELM

Daily Arts Writer

My ongoing love 
for watching the
Olympic Games

If you need to find me over 

the next two weeks, I’ll be 
glued to any screen I can get 
my hands on, live-streaming 
NBC and cheering on the 
U.S.A. in winter sports I only 
aggressively pretend to know 
the slightest about. From the 
moment the torch is lit, it’s 
pure magic for me. While some 
merely view the Olympics 
as an exploitative and over-
hyped money-maker, to me, 
the Games carry an entirely 
different 
connotation 
of 

unity, identity and wholesome 
entertainment.

Now, when I say I love 

watching 
the 
Olympics, 

I 
truly 
mean 
the 
entire 

Olympics. From the opening 
and closing ceremonies to 
any event (no matter how 
obscure or underappreciated), 
I find myself intrigued and 
entranced by the spectacle 
of it all. From the time I was 
eight years old — watching 
legendary athletes like Nastia 
Liukin and Michael Phelps 
make history during the 2008 
Beijing Summer Games — it 
has become a ritual of mine 
to tune in every two years and 
binge-watch the live coverage.

The Olympics always bring 

me back to the nostalgic era 
of TV — you know, the entire 
family gathering in the living 
room unit, everyone adding 
their two cents and critiques 
of what’s on the screen. In my 
family, that picture usually 
goes a little something like 
this: me holding my breath 
every time a figure skater 
leaves 
the 
ground, 
my 

parents becoming overnight 
“experts” 
in 
terminology 

like “triple axel” and “luge” 
and 
my 
brother 
laughing 

along with Twitter at some 
hilariously awkward Olympics 
commentary.

In that way, the experience 

of watching the Olympics on 
TV is unquestionably a valued 
tradition shared with family, 
but it expands into something 
much bigger than that. It’s an 
experience shared with the 
nation, and even more notably, 
the 
entire 
world. 
Rooting 

for your home country and 
engaging in the pure anxiety 
and excitement that stems from 
an international competition 
is 
simply 
a 
timeless 
and 

universal phenomenon.

Suddenly, even the most 

indifferent and uninformed 
citizens 
shapeshift 
into 

patriots, feeling proud that 
their athletes can accomplish 
what others can’t. While social 
media is normally a space for 
heavy-handed 
criticism 
of 

America and its culture, when 
the Olympics are on, red, 
white and blue overwhelm 
the airwaves and a truly 
magnificent sense of unity 
and 
togetherness 
ignites. 

Guys in full-body U.S.A. garb, 
no shortage of American flag 
emojis and those tear-jerking 
P&G commercials on repeat — 
every Olympic Games marks a 
surge in the allegiance to an 
endorsement of our country. 
And admittedly, while that 
outpouring can be a little 
pretentious and overkill at 
times, it is still exhilarating 
and 
heartwarming 

nonetheless.

Besides feeling as though 

you are a part of history and 
partaking 
in 
the 
cultural 

extravaganza 
that 
is 
the 

Olympics, the idealized nature 
of the Games is yet another 
enthralling aspect of watching 
them on TV. There’s just 
something 
so 
encouraging 

about seeing people (make 
that very young people) fulfill 
their dreams and accomplish 
their lifelong goals on such 
a global platform. Sitting in 
front of the TV, seeing all the 
action unfold and watching 
fantasies become realities has 

the indescribable ability to 
make you feel all warm and 
fuzzy inside. Ultimately, what 
it boils down to is that it’s just 
refreshing to see people do 
good on TV for a change.

Dumbfounded 
comments 

like, “I can’t believe humans 
are actually capable of doing 
that,” and, “I seriously wish 
I could do that,” frequently 
flood the scene during those 
two weeks. And just like that, I 
(along with the rest of America) 
start having visions of getting 
into 
a 
sport, 
becoming 
a 

prodigy and winning gold. 
Unfortunately, I think I’m past 
my prime. Also unfortunately, 
I’m just extremely unathletic 
and talentless. Sure, maybe 
watching the Olympics can 

destroy your self-esteem in 
an instant, but it can also 
motivate you to be better.

The final and perhaps most 

curious draw to watching the 
Olympics is the presentation 
of diversity on our screens 
for those few weeks. Stellar 
athletes 
of 
all 
races 
and 

backgrounds are (for a change) 
evaluated based on their skill 
sets and dedication, not their 
socially constructed statuses. 
Distinctly, this winter’s Team 
U.S.A. is bringing the largest 
and most diverse squad of 
athletes to the Winter Games, 
advocating 
for 
inclusivity 

alongside their usual standard 
of excellence.

All of a sudden the world 

realizes 
that 
women 
are 

determined 
and 
proficient 

athletes, that your age does 
not define your capability and 
that there are a multitude of 
unique and underrated sports 
out there. The Olympics seem 
to not only make society 
more 
open-minded 
and 

appreciative, 
but 
also 
the 

normally strict and tradition-
keeping world of sports. In 
fact, for almost three decades 
now 
the 
Winter 
Olympics 

has 
pushed 
for 
women’s 

involvement, knocking down 
barriers to previously male-
exclusive sports like hockey 
and curling. Similarly, figure 
skater 
Adam 
Rippon 
and 

freestyle skier Gus Kenworthy 
are breaking massive cultural 
ground this year by being the 
first openly gay male Winter 
Olympic athletes. If it takes 
something as extravagant as 
the Olympics to knock some 
sense into society and make 
representation 
clear 
and 

prominent, then, hey, even 
more power to them.

Overall, 
watching 
this 

year’s PyeongChang Winter 
Olympics is shaping up to be 
a jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring 
global 
moment. 
With 
the 

deluge of media coverage and 
countless new ways to tune 
into the Games, watching the 
Olympics 
has 
triumphantly 

evolved 
from 
a 
simple 

presentation of international 
competition 
to 
a 
more 

interactive, hopeful and pride-
filled TV experience. If that — 
combined with the fact that for 
two weeks you have the perfect 
excuse to procrastinate any 
effort-involving task — doesn’t 
make you want to tune in, then 
where’s your sense of Olympic 
spirit?

MORGAN RUBINO

Daily Arts Writer

TV NOTEBOOK

It’s an 

experience shared 

with the nation, 

and even more 

notably, the entire 

world

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

5A — Monday, February 12, 2018
Arts
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

