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January 24, 2018 - Image 11

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The Michigan Daily

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3B
Wednesday, January 24, 2018 // The Statement

Let’s Bitch About It:





Football is boring and overrated

P

icture the ideal game day:
Sunny, warm, but not too
hot. O’Korn is not slated to

play and the renowned University of
Michigan team is ranked and ready to
win. Thousands of fans flock to Ann
Arbor, while college kids prepare for a
day of revelry.

Now picture the game day reality:

The weather sucks (it’s either too hot or
too cold), our team is pretty average at
this point, the streets are overcrowded
and everything is sticky and smells like
beer.

Before I start, I will admit I am a

hypocrite on this matter. Over the past
three football seasons, I have bought
season tickets, attended tailgates and
on occasion even made it to the actual
game. However, I have decided to stop
supporting what can only be described
as the worst sport and let my true
opinions out.

There are many issues I have with

football, some of which are hard to
dispute (like the physical implications
for players), and others that many of you
will blame on my lack of understanding
of the game.

“You’re just a stupid girl who doesn’t

get the culture of the True American
Sport! Bah!” — some angry white man
commenting on my article, probably.

Which, in many ways, is not wrong.

I know very little about the rules of
football and fill in stereotypes about
my gender in that regard, but that does
not mean my opinions on football are
not valid.

It’s dangerous
I probably won’t be the first or

the smartest person to tell you that
football is incredibly dangerous for its
players. Study after study detail the
high risk of brain damage associated
with the sport, especially among
young players.

Yet for some reason, we still worship

the sport. Football is still cool. The
popular show Friday Night Lights
(which I personally hated, but that’s
another issue) literally had a main
character paralyzed, but people still
loved the program and the sport.
Mind-boggling!

On campus, we worship football

players and consistently encourage
them to risk serious injury in the name
of our entertainment. I’m sure gladiator
fights were also sort of fun to watch if
you got into it, but that doesn’t mean
it should be condoned in a modern
society. (Also, it should be noted that
in the National Football League the
majority of players are Black while the
majority of viewers are white, so there

are major systemic imbalances in who
bears the costs of football.)

On this point, it is difficult to play

devil’s advocate and argue against me
that football is actually safe, but if you
are looking for a fight, do not despair.

It’s boring
I understand why sports are fun. I

love the passion people have for their
teams, the cheers and the taunts.
Personally, the Blues Brother dance
after the third quarter is one of my
favorite traditions at the University.
However, this does not mean football
should be the outlet of our enthusiasm
for athletics.

I went to a basketball game for the

first time this semester and, wow —
what a good time! You still get to do the
cheers (and the dance), but you don’t
have to spend four hours outdoors.

Why does a football game have to

take four hours? That is way too long
in my opinion, and there’s too much
downtime, with actual play time
amounting to a mere 11 minutes total on
average. Other sports like basketball,
hockey and soccer have more constant
action, making them much more
interesting than football.

Also why the heck is Michigan

football outdoors? Why do people want
to brave the elements for four whole
hours? This year alone, Michigan
football
attendees
suffered
from

sunburn, pouring rain and freezing
temperatures. I will admit that the Mr.
Brightside moment in the rain looked
like good fun, but does three minutes
of iconic music make up for four hours
of shivering? I would say no.

It’s overrated
While I was not a great football

attendee (though I had season tickets,
I only made it to three games, two of
which I left before the first quarter), I
managed to make it to most tailgates.
Each game day I would wake up excited
but consistently end up disappointed.

Again, why do they have to be

outdoors? What do you do if it rains?
(Apparently put up tarps or just let
yourself get wet but personally, ew?
Why would I want to do that?) The
other half of the time it’s freezing cold,
and you have to either wear tons of
layers and cover up your bomb outfit
or simply give up on being warm for
the day and risk hypothermia. On
the flip side, there are days when it is
extremely hot and you end up sweaty,
sunburnt and dangerously dehydrated.

Even if the weather is perfect,

tailgates tend to be a net negative. Sure,
the few hours you spend dancing can
be a lot of fun, but the weird hours and

postgame hangover make it generally
unpleasant. For noon games, you have
to wake up earlier than I do for my
classes and pretend to be happy about
it. Then following a day of tailgating
and watching the game (for those of
you who make it there and watch the
whole thing), you eventually arrive
home feeling like shit and just wanting
some food and a long nap.

Additionally, the post-game nap is a

very tricky thing to manage. Depending
on the time of the game, it can really
mess up your whole day. If you sleep

too long, you could end up waking up
at a time you would normally go to bed.
Or you may wake up at a somewhat
normal hour but still be hungover and
have no energy to do anything else that
day.

Despite the disruption and the

general
unpleasantness,
we
still

commit to this tradition almost every
other weekend in the fall, all for a sport
that really isn’t worth the attention.

Perhaps we should take notes from

other countries and obsess over the
true football: soccer.

BY LYDIA MURRAY, COLUMNIST

File Photo/Daily

Coach Jim Harbaugh is disappointed.

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