I
have very fond memories
of sitting in the living
room with my family,
watching
Bill
O’Reilly
on
the
television.
It
was
part
of
my
conservative,
libertarian
and
Republican family’s
routine. I quickly
became
interested
in
the
political
issues Bill O’Reilly
talked about on his
program and wanted
to
learn
more,
believing
the
information
I’d find would affirm the
conservative viewpoints that
surrounded me.
The
exact
opposite
occurred. After researching
various
issues
by
reading
countless sources, I realized
that my viewpoints aligned
with those of mainstream
liberals
rather
than
the
conservatives I had previously
thought were correct.
I soon became a liberal
in
a
conservative
family.
In
the
inevitable
political
conversations I had with my
family, I had to defend the
liberal
views
I
eventually
developed. This was difficult.
At first, it was hard for me to
deal with some of the views
my family held. I felt that some
conservative viewpoints, like
the Republican Party’s pro-life
stance, were offensive to me as
a woman. At the same time, my
family found some of my liberal
viewpoints,
like
increasing
social welfare programs, to be
fiscally irresponsible.
However, my family and I
were quickly able to reconcile
our political views with our
love for each other. This was
possible through conversation,
which required me to evaluate
my viewpoints thoroughly. In
fact, I’m grateful that I grew
up the way I did, because it
forced me to constantly defend
my values. Now, as a college
student in a divisive political
climate, I can defend my views
more effectively.
Here at the University of
Michigan, I have been doing
my best to have this same
understanding with those I
disagree with. While there
are some views that I just
cannot tolerate — including
white
supremacist
views,
homophobic
or
sexist
rhetoric
or
any other type of
hate speech — I try
to
keep
an
open
mind when it comes
to
Republican
or
conservative
viewpoints.
My
experience
as
a
political
minority
in my family has
helped me become
more perceptive to
opposing viewpoints.
Political
ideologies
are
often developed as a result
of a combination of research
and personal experience. My
identities
and
experiences
have largely influenced my
political views. This is also
true for those whose identities
and experiences shaped their
conservative ideology. Their
experiences are their own,
and as a result, I cannot tell
them
what
political
views
they should hold. This is why
acceptance of a variety of
viewpoints is necessary. Each
person has their own identities
and experiences that influence
their ideology, and it is important
to validate those factors.
Mutual
respect
was
a
big
factor
in
creating
understanding
between
my
family and myself. I knew that
my family members did not
hold their more conservative
viewpoints for any sort of
malicious reason; they did not
want to destroy the country
or offend people. They simply
believed that their ideology
was the best route for the
United States. I had to explain
why I thought that liberal
policies were better for the
nation. These conversations
created the mutual respect that
was key in generating healthy
relationships.
My
family
and
I
have
realized
that
both
of
our
divergent ideologies have valid
points, which has increased
mutual respect. My family
respected the effort I had put
into
researching
different
issues. This type of validation
helped me respect the beliefs
my family held. After years
of not entirely understanding
the views my family holds, I
realize that their views are just
as thought-out as mine. As a
liberal who prides herself on
being open-minded, I refuse
to
invalidate
the
thought
my loved ones put into their
political views, and I find it
necessary to keep that lesson in
mind when dealing with others
who hold viewpoints that I may
find problematic.
This is not to say I never
make assumptions about a
person based on their political
views. I do. However, I try
my best to get past these
assumptions. I strongly believe
that
we
should
welcome
a
multitude
of
opinions.
Debating different aspects of
an issue is the best way to solve
a political problem.
I am blessed with a really
loving family. I could not
ask for anything better as
my family supports me in
my pursuits every day. I also
know that my family loves
me because of, not in spite
of, my passion for my views.
Though I realize it is much
easier to respect the views
your own family holds, it is
possible to embrace ideological
differences and conversation is
necessary. I truly believe that
diversity of opinion is what
makes the U.S. a great country.
The University should be a
safe place for everyone who
goes here. Doing our best to
understand those we do not
agree with is an important step
in this pursuit.
I
remember
being
very
young and so incredibly
proud of the fact that I was
a girl. I refused to watch movies
with a male lead as I insisted
that they were always boring,
and I’m sure I had an army of
T-shirts and stickers that said
“girls rule and boys drool.”
Whenever any boy in my class
teased anyone for being a girl,
I was sure to stand up for them
and state what my father had
always insisted I remember: A
girl can do anything a boy can do.
Though my conception of gender
has changed since my preschool
days,
my
femininity,
my
sensitivity and my inclination for
cooperation and understanding
are still the traits I value the
most about myself.
Unfortunately, another part
of me that hasn’t changed since
preschool is a general fear and
wariness of cisgender men.
When I was younger, this meant
I would feel more comfortable
with a female teacher, a female
doctor and female friends.
Nowadays, this means I’m more
likely to sit next to someone
in class who I perceive to be
female-presenting, and more
likely to avoid someone I
perceive to be male.
This
doesn’t
mean
that
I don’t have any male or
masculine friends whom I
trust
and
appreciate,
but
this does mean that my gut
instinct is to stick to female-
presenting folks. Many could
perceive a general distrust
of maleness as a form of
misandry, a hatred of cis men
for simply being cis men. But
I truly don’t believe that this
distrust was formed out of an
attachment to feminist ideals,
but
instead
as
ingrained
lessons I learned throughout
my childhood.
The lessons to which I am
referring are the times my dad
would tell my sister and me
that “men are idiots” and “boys
are only after one thing.” It
became a joke in our family; my
dad would turn to my sister or
me and say, “What are boys?”
We would respond, “idiots,”
and he would nod his head in
satisfaction. The fact that the
man who was most important
to me during my childhood
insisted I remember not to
trust boys inherently affected
my worldview.
I also am referring to the
times my mom would tell me
not to walk home late at night
because, “You’re a pretty girl,
we don’t want boys getting any
ideas.” Lastly, I am referring
to the many times my sister
and I were told to lock the
bathroom door and not walk
around in our bathing suits if
there were other men in the
house. Women, on the other
hand, were always completely
trusted and a strange woman
visiting my house heeded no
warning to my sister and me. I
began to understand that those
who were female-presenting
could be trusted, but that men
and maleness, though to be
respected, was also something
I needed to remain wary of.
As I became older, I began
to fall back on this feeling of
distrust more and more often.
I became numb to catcalls, and
at night, I would instinctively
lower my head and avoid eye
contact
when
walking
by
someone who appeared male.
Over and over I would hear
my female-presenting friends
talk about how they had been
mistreated by random dudes at
the bar or the club. I would feel
the need to be more assertive
and aggressive when taking
classes that were majority
male, or else my voice would be
stomped out.
I
received
inappropriate
messages from strange men
on
Facebook,
Tinder
and,
most surprisingly, LinkedIn.
I
still
get
nervous
when
opening
messages
online.
When
I
reported
a
male
educator for behavior I deemed
inappropriate, it was because
I didn’t trust him and felt my
privacy violated. Thus was life,
and distrust and cynicism was
how I managed to get through
it all.
Though I feel bad that I have
an internalized distrust or
wariness towards strange men,
I am not yet willing to apologize
for it. This past month men
and women, inspired by the
women who came forward to
denounce Harvey Weinstein,
shared the hashtag #MeToo
in order to display the breadth
and
magnitude
of
sexual
misconduct in our society. As
many articles have pointed
out, Weinstein would not have
gotten away with his crimes
for as long as he had without
the help of many others, as well
as a workplace culture that
minimized sexual harassment
and shamed survivors.
So,
though
I
do
feel
somewhat
guilty
for
my
inherent biases, I refuse to
feel the need to apologize or
feel guilty for them when so
many cisgender men will rarely
recognize or call out sexism
or
inappropriate
behavior
in everyday situations (for
example, Quentin Tarantino).
If cisgender men truly want
to see the system change,
they need to begin to stand up
against sexism in obvious and
uncomfortable ways.
As
a
white
woman,
I
understand how awkward it
can be to call out friends and
family for their inappropriate
behavior, but I understand that
if I don’t call out racism, then
I am complicit in a system of
white supremacy. Cisgender
men need to realize that if they
don’t start working to change
this dialogue around sexual
assault, then they are actively
promoting their supremacy in
a patriarchal system. If they
want to see a world where they
are not inherently distrusted
by female-presenting people,
then they need to realize that
they play an integral role in
creating it.
Opinion
The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com
4A — Friday, October 27, 2017
REBECCA LERNER
Managing Editor
420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
tothedaily@michigandaily.com
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890.
EMMA KINERY
Editor in Chief
ANNA POLUMBO-LEVY
and REBECCA TARNOPOL
Editorial Page Editors
Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily’s Editorial Board.
All other signed articles and illustrations represent solely the views of their authors.
EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS
Not just a “woman’s problem”
ELENA HUBBELL | COLUMN
Becoming a liberal
Carolyn Ayaub
Megan Burns
Samantha Goldstein
Caitlin Heenan
Jeremy Kaplan
Sarah Khan
Anurima Kumar
Max Lubell
Lucas Maiman
Alexis Megdanoff
Madeline Nowicki
Anna Polumbo-Levy
Jason Rowland
Anu Roy-Chaudhury
Ali Safawi
Sarah Salman
Kevin Sweitzer
Rebecca Tarnopol
Stephanie Trierweiler
Ashley Zhang
Emily Huhman can be reached at
huhmanem@umich.edu.
Dismantled
Editor’s note: The writer’s last
name is omitted to protect their
identity.
T
he drinking and the
costume
definitely
made
IT
easier
for
them. But IT shouldn’t have
even happened. I was not a
target, I was the bullseye.
Unknowingly in the center of
a malicious plan. My vision
was clouded and my dexterity
was
diminished.
As
my
strength deteriorated, so did
my judgment. I like to dance,
but why did I venture so far
that night? I trusted a stranger
to bring me home safely on an
unfamiliar campus.
Mistake. Mistake.
Like an idiot, there was no
alarm going off in my head. The
liquor had transformed me. No
alarm, until I was pulled in a room
by the arms of multiple men.
For days after the assault I
laid in bed unmoving, other
than the tears rolling down my
cheeks.
Do you know what emotions
canter through your body? How
self-blame is inevitable, and how
self-worth shatters in your face?
Your former character is exiled
from fear. Your previous being
is dethroned. In the following
months, there were two monsters
that controlled my thoughts.
The first was an ebony cave,
with an absence of light. It
induced hibernation and no
appetite. My ambition became
limited, yet my idleness ran
rampant. It acted as an empty
cavern for my anxiety to reside.
The walls were reverberators
for the echo of its breath. Slow
and unsteady, like the beating
of my chest. Ready to cease, yet
relentlessly unfailing. Agony:
He would gawk at me.
The second was a sharp high,
with that full-body absentee.
It forged enhanced sensations
and hyperreality. My awareness
was active, but my response
was impaired. It operated as an
induced insanity. Emotions free
of gravity. Active when they
wanted, and not when I needed.
Attendance in rhythmic motion
with my most inconvenient
moments. Panic: She would
take over me.
They entered me without
my
permission.
All
the
perpetrators
and
prevailing
emotions.
Physically
and
mentally. It dismantled me
inside, then out.
CATHERINE N.
Catherine N. is an LSA student.
Elena Hubbell can be reached at
elepearl@umich.edu.
This is the second piece in the
Survivors Speak series, which
seeks to share the varied,
first-person experiences of survivors
of sexual assault. If you are a
survivor and would like to submit
to the series, please visit
https://tinyurl.com/survivespeak
for more information.
CONTRIBUTE TO THE CONVERSATION
Readers are encouraged to submit letters to the editor and op-eds.
Letters should be fewer than 300 words while op-eds should be 550
to 850 words. Send the writer’s full name and University affiliation to
tothedaily@michigandaily.com.
I began to fall
back on this
feeling of distrust
more and more.
In the following
months, there
were two
monsters that
controlled my
thoughts.
My gut instinct is
to stick to female
presenting folks.
EMILY HUHMAN | COLUMN
EMILY WOLFE | CONTACT EMILY AT ELWOLFE@UMICH.EDU
EMILY
HUHMAN
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