Wednesday, October 4, 2017 // The Statement
4B
Wednesday, October 4, 2017 // The Statement
5B
“Anybody have a problem with that?”
Leading a fraternity as a gay man
b y Av i S h o l k o f f, Daily Sports Writer
Public Policy junior Daniel Greene
remembers one of the first fraternity
rush events he attended as a freshman.
“I walk into the house, and the first
thing I hear, is ‘that’s so gay,’” Greene
said. “Some brother is repeating ‘that’s
so gay.’ That’s literally the first thing
after I checked in I heard.”
The phrase was thrown around so
many times Greene was convinced
someone in the fraternity spread word
of his sexuality.
“So I thought, ‘OK, maybe not the
house for me,’” he recalled.
Greene went to a few more fraternity
rush events before finding his place at a
house on the corner of Washtenaw Ave-
nue and Hill Street: Lambda Chi Alpha.
“I told them during one of the first
two rush events, ‘Hey, I know this has
nothing to do with anything, I don’t
know whether you’re going to give me
a bid, but I just wanted to let you know
that I’m openly gay.’”
Then LSA junior CJ Motley, who
was in charge of Lambda Chi Alpha’s
recruitment in the fall of 2015, said his
personal reaction to Daniel’s announce-
ment was shame.
“That he would have to think that
would have to be an issue or a problem,
it was kind of disheartening.”
He recalls that Greene seemed imme-
diately like a great fit for the fraternity
after meeting him at a mass meeting.
“I felt good that he could get along
with us, be comfortable being around
us, but at the same time, I didn’t like the
idea that he felt like he wouldn’t fit in
because of who he is.”
As a freshman, Greene never could
have imagined himself in a fraternity,
much less a president of Lambda Chi
Alpha. When he was in middle school,
he never thought he’d be able to get
married or have children. He expected
to live a “different” life because of his
sexual orientation.
Thankfully, Greene’s right to marry
is no longer up for discussion after the
June 2015Obergfell v. Hodges Supreme
Court ruling legalized same-sex mar-
riage in the United States. And yet,
serving as the president of a fraterni-
ty, Greene continues to face prejudice
because of his sexuality.
***
Historically, the Michigan Greek life
community has attempted inclusiv-
ity of LGBTQ members, but the reality
is often murky. A 2005 “Statement for
Human Dignity” — signed by the all
the major Greek life organizations —
affirmed the houses would “not toler-
ate discrimination of any kind” against
LGBTQ members, among other margin-
alized groups on campus. Yet in October
2016, LSA senior Emily Kaufman — who
is a transgender-female — drew national
attention after she dropped out of soror-
ity rush after perceived exclusion.
Back in 2010, a Daily article found
many LGBTQ fraternity members were
wary of coming out to their brothers due
to perceived social stigmas. Four frater-
nity brothers who went on the record to
talk about their experiences as gay men
in Greek life preferred to remain anon-
ymous because they never came out to
many, if not all, of their fraternity broth-
ers.
“I think at the group level, kind of a
pack mentality (exists),” one anonymous
fraternity member told the Daily in
2010. “Whenever someone starts jerk-
ing around and saying (homophobic)
things, but not necessarily meant to be
derogatory, that kind of feeds into those
perceptions.”
Seven years after this article was pub-
lished, Greene ascended to the leader-
ship of an IFC fraternity as an outwardly
gay member, reflective of a societal shift
toward acceptance of homosexuality.
In 2006, Pew found that 54 percent of
Americans opposed gay marriage, with
only 37 percent in favor. Nine years
later, the Supreme Court would codify
a right to same-sex marriage, and that
figure flipped by 2017, with 62 percent
of Americans in favor of same-sex mar-
riage and 32 percent opposed.
***
Greene is busy on campus. A self-
described nerd, he’s an LSA student
representative in Central Student Gov-
ernment as well as a peer group leader
within the Wolverine Support Network,
a student-led organization that pro-
motes mental health.
In grade school, Daniel tried to
hide who he was. Some of his fellow
elementary and middle school peers
would ask if he was gay, and he would
always respond with a no. It wasn’t
until November of the sixth grade that
he finally answered yes. Within a day,
everyone at school knew. And Greene
feels especially privileged that, in his
words, his school was “super accepting.”
However, Greene couldn’t say that
all members of his community accepted
who he was. That year, he tried joining
the football team as a way to fit in. The
coach at the time asked, “What are you
a fucking girl?” in response to Greene’s
high-pitched voice.
***
“I think that there are instances
where [Greek life is homophobic].
There’s always room for improvement,
but I think it’s trending in the right
direction,” Greene said. “I think that
the critics are legitimate, but as a whole
— from my experience — it’s been a great
time; a learning experience for myself
and for fraternities.”
After he was elected president of
Lambda Chi Alpha in December 2016,
some members in his pledge class — as
well as others from the pledge class that
followed — were uneasy about a gay man
at the helm of their fraternity solely
because of his sexuality.
While the supermajority of his broth-
ers affirmed his election, some were
expressly opposed.
“There are people who, if it were left
to them, they would ensure there was no
openly gay brother again,” Greene said,
emphasizing that this conflict took place
in a house he felt mostly accepted in.
At the same time, though, Greene was
met with acceptance among members of
fraternities at which he never expected
to find inclusivity. He’s made friends
with members of all different houses.
As president, Greene had to confront
misconceptions about members of the
LGBTQ community in Greek life, tack-
ling it through two lenses: as an openly
gay man and as the leader of a fraternity.
“For someone who is openly gay, you
have to show that it’s normal,” Greene
said. “And you can still be as functional
and great as a fraternity and foster the
brotherhood and social life and ideals as
other houses, but I have to come at it from
a weird dynamic. I have my own feelings
and views as an openly gay man, and I
also have separate objectives and obliga-
tions as president. You learn if you ignore
them, people start to realize the stereo-
types are wrong, but it’s different when
you’re the president.”
In other words, Greene doesn’t nor-
mally take a proactive approach to com-
batting anti-LGBTQ stereotypes, but as
president of Lambda Chi Alpha, he real-
ized he had to.
Confronting stereotypes is nothing
new to Greene. Until 10th grade, when
he’d answer his home phone, callers
often assumed his mother was on the
other side. Some people would comment
on his hand gestures and articulation of
words. Rather than calling out each of
these commenters, Greene has an alter-
native approach that has resonated and
allowed him to succeed.
“It’s the willingness to not budge
or show fear or show embarrassment
or show vulnerability to stereotypes,”
Greene said. “In the long term that’s
going to help those people realize that
(the stereotypes) are not only wrong, but
that their perceptions are just off.”
Sometimes, though, Greene feels he
needs to alter his personality to fit in
with a particular group, such as the
board of Interfraternity Council presi-
dents, where Greene felt he “stuck out”
among the other members. He discussed
how certain individuals in attendance
responded
consciously
and
subcon-
sciously to his being gay.
“When you’ve been openly gay for 10
years, you can spot someone not liking
your personality and someone not giving
you the time of the day because of that
… there are subtle differences,” Greene
said. “Do I think that IFC is homophobic?
No. Still, I think that there are people
in that room who wouldn’t befriend me,
or steer clear of me if they could, just
because I’m gay.”
For example, Greene said some peo-
ple would move their name placards to
avoid sitting next to him. Others would
make subtle jokes behind his back about
his sexuality they didn’t think he would
overhear.
In several written statements to the
Daily, LSA senior Joey Insalaco, IFC pres-
ident, said the council is working closely
with the University of Michigan’s Spec-
trum Center to collaborate on additional
support programs for LGBTQ Greek life
members in the future. Insalaco did not
want to elaborate until the details are
finalized, but he emphasized there will
be some fraternity- and sorority-specific
support for members of the IFC and Pan-
hellenic communities, respectively.
Insalaco worked with Greene through-
out his tenure and described him as self-
lessly dedicated to his chapter, earning
him Chapter President of the Year at the
Go Greek Awards at the end of this past
semester.
***
Engineering junior Trevor Gullstad
had never come out to anyone before col-
lege. In high school, he attended dances
with girls, taking them solely as friends.
It really wasn’t until he met Daniel that
he opened up about identity.
He never envisioned bringing anoth-
er man to one of his date parties during
freshman year, and even had doubts he
would do it all throughout college.
To his surprise, though, his Delta Chi
fraternity brothers supported him when
he told them he would be bringing Daniel
to one of his first date parties freshman
year.
“I said I was going to bring my boy-
friend to our date party,” Gullstad said.
“And a senior brother said, ‘Anybody have
a problem with that?’ And everybody said
no, and that was that.”
“That was a big emotional release at
that time. I was definitely glad that I got
to tell everyone that I was bringing a boy
to the party before so he didn’t have to
deal with people suddenly wondering
once he was there. (I wanted) to make
them aware of the full context.”
Greene said the experience was simi-
larly positive. Greene also brought Gull-
stad to Lambda’s date party. He believes
it is extremely important for gay couples
to attend these parties to show their vis-
ibility and maintain a presence.
“I wanted a place where I could bring
home a guy, or bring home a boyfriend or
a male to a date party,” Greene said. “Not
only could I do it, but I wouldn’t have to
think of the implications of doing it. I’m
pretty sure, that I was — even though I
felt comfortable — the first guy to bring
another guy to a date party in recent
Lambda history.
“I can genuinely say that almost all my
fraternity — if someone did something
shitty to me, or somebody did something
homophobic — they would not hesitate in
standing up for me,” Greene said. “And
not ‘because I’m a liberal so I must do
this’ urge, but because they genuinely
care for my well-being.”
Still, while the overwhelming major-
ity welcomed Greene and Gullstad, there
were some sneers.
“There were definitely some people
who were taking pictures of us, Snap-
chatting in a negative way. You could see
them from across the room,” Greene said.
Gullstad described himself as “the per-
son to freak out going into social situa-
tions” in an email to the Daily. He greatly
admired Greene’s tremendous confidence
during their dates and “put himself on
the line again and again,” to advocate for
people to express their true identities.
“(He taught me) about being visible
and being super open, showing me that
you could be out and proud and have lots
of friends who were interested in differ-
ent activities and different types of peo-
ple and not have it negatively impact your
life,” Gullstad said.
***
As a freshman, Greene only entered
the IFC fraternity rush process because
he wanted to experience every opportu-
nity offered on campus. Some friends in
South Quad Residence Hall went to the
meetings, and he chose to tag along. Two
years later, he is a proud past president of
Lambda Chi Alpha.
Grateful for his experience, he still
wonders how different his college expe-
rience would’ve been had he entered
college five or six years ago when the
national and campus climate was less
accepting of the LGBTQ community.
Greene was fortunate enough to find a
house that embraced him for who he was.
He stressed that while being LGBTQ is
significantly less stigmatized than just
five years ago, there is still work to be
done. But he encourages the LGBTQ
community to approach IFC members
with an open mind.
“A lot of the openly gay people who
feel they aren’t accepted in Greek life
— not saying that they’re not facing
adversity or obstacles, because they are
— but some of that has more to do with
their perception, and their unwilling-
ness to give people a chance,” Greene
said. “Unfortunately as a minority,
you’re always going to have that burden
of breaking through that ceiling or going
over that bump when it comes to meeting
new people.”
Just a month into his junior year, it’s
clear that Greene has left his signature
on campus. Ask Trevor Gullstad, CJ Mot-
ley or Joey Insalaco.
He never imagined as a sixth grader
gossiping on the sidelines during P.E.
that he would break barriers within the
University’s Interfraternity Council.
ALEXIS RANKIN/DAILY
Daniel Greene
ALEXIS RANKIN/Daily
Trevor Gullstad