Dedicated to the memory of my great-
aunt Tillie Gross, a force to be reckoned
with and as sharp-minded as they come.
I
am graduating a year early from
the University of Michigan,
receiving a B.A. in international
studies with a concentration
in international security, norms and
cooperation, as well as minors in history
of art and oceanography.
Yeah, thank you, I would love my gold
star now please.
The reason I’m starting off with that
is for my own benefit, really. A lot of
what this column has been is me trying
to relate to you, the reader, like I’m Amy
Poehler’s character in “Mean Girls”
— the mom who wears a pink Juicy
track suit and is delightfully desperate
to be cool. What I’m aiming to do in
this column, though, is to embody the
confidence of Lady Gaga in her meat
dress while coming off as intelligent
as Rachel Carson and Marie Curie
to explain why I am OK(ish) about
graduating and low-key not freaking out
anymore.
That’s right, you’re about to come on a
journey of soul-searching with me.
Let’s rewind.
Three years ago, I was a senior in
high school studying for six AP exams
and preparing for my final research
presentation — I had conducted a three-
year-long research project on ocean
acidification in conjunction with the
National Oceanic and Atmospheric
Administration to relative national
success. I was caught up in the stress of
unimportant grade school drama and
slightly disappointed I had committed to
the University after being rejected from
my
top-choice-since-forever
school,
Yale University.
I was a smart kid (4.1 GPA), from a
great family — my sister is my best friend
— and participated in so many after-
school activities I now actually slightly
gag wondering how I did it — rowing
team, honor societies, piano and French
horn lessons, Hebrew school, fall play,
spring musical, community service (my
role model in life is my high-school self).
For the first time in my life, after reading
my Yale rejection letter, I had been told
what I did was not good enough for
something I thought I deserved. I had to
confront the reality that I might not be
special.
Yes, I know, what a sob story. White-
and-Jewish-girl-from-New-York-is-
not-as-cool-as-she-thought-she-was.
I completely get that, but, at the same
time, bite me.
So I had committed to the University,
and I told myself I was happy. I was, to
some degree. But it wasn’t Yale. It wasn’t
Ivy. (Looking back, though, who cares?)
There was no pivotal moment when I
decided I had made the right decision
and that the universe obviously wanted
me to go to the University over Yale.
But, looking back, I couldn’t see myself
anywhere else.
A lot of what I
have been word-
vomiting across
The Statement’s
pages this year is
directly
related
to
insecurity.
Insecurity
that
maybe I won’t
achieve
what
I
want,
and
insecurity
that
I might not be
successful
and
end up leading
an “average” life.
And insecurity if
I am making the
right
decisions
and
doing
the
right things to get
me going in the
right direction to
land me in the right place.
Here’s what the University taught
me: Insecurity is as common as having
a nose and two eyes on your face. For the
most part, people are putting their best
foot forward in a society that tries to
hide that one foot behind.
(Don’t worry, Mom and Dad, I learned
a lot of other things too. For example, I
learned how to write a 15-page essay the
night before it’s due and get an A.)
I’m graduating a year early, which is
thrusting me into the “real world” a full
365 days earlier than I had planned. A
lot of this year was me slowly doubting
myself over and over about every choice
I’ve made. Why couldn’t I have done
this essay better? What if I had done
Michigan in Washington? Do I really
need to graduate early? Do I even want
to go to law school? I should have spent
more time on this job application, why
didn’t I? Etc.
It was crushing me, suffocating
me, thinking that I have let go of
opportunities and that I’m doing
something wrong. My frenzy manifested
itself in self-debilitating humorous
articles and retreating from doing much
more than homework and Netflix and
student organization meetings.
I’m not sure why, but I suddenly
stopped around the beginning of April
with the “what-ifs” and the “if-thens.”
Instead, I started with the, “well-nows.”
Well, now I’m headed to the University
of
Edinburgh
to get a one-
year
Master’s
Degree in marine
systems
and
policies.
Well,
now I’m studying
for the LSAT and
praying to Yeezy
that I do OK.
Well, now I am
just taking things
in stride.
Why?
Because, I let
go of this need to
plan.
Starting with
my Yale rejection
— and, arguably,
starting
with
my first Google
search
for
colleges — it was all about planning and
doing and seeing enough to get me to the
“next step” on my way to my “next goal.”
There was always a well-thought-out
plan between high school and college
— see my very first Statement column
about this. Once I let go of my insecurity
with the lack of plan between college
and post-graduation, the air has become
easier to breathe.
I’m not special. That’s the biggest
lesson I learned here, surrounded by the
brightest and most passionate people I
know. I’m not going to necessarily enact
worldwide change, but I can enact one
change in one person with a smile. I’m
not the best, because there’s no true
definition for what the “best” is. I’m not
the smartest, because there are different
types of intelligence.
I am OK with graduating, though.
And that’s because I am comfortable
with being uncomfortable. I am OK with
graduating, because graduation doesn’t
mean letting go of what you know.
Graduation just means heading forward
into an unknown future filled with
whatever opportunities and possibilities
you make for yourself.
Congratulations to the class of 2017,
we got this. Also, send me a text if you
have an idea about how to decorate my
graduation cap! OK, thanks!
How to: Pay attention during the
graduation ceremony
1. OK, you finally get to your seat, now
fidget for 500,000 seconds
2. OK, you’re settled
3. Great, aren’t you soooooooooo
excited to be here
4. Shake it off, it’s too early to start
being sarcastic
5. Stay alert, you never know what will
fall from the sky in the Big House (TBT to
the parachuting man who landed on the
field in a pre-show for a football game!)
6. Pick at the scab on your ankle, first
bug bites of the season are great
7. Oh my lord, who even is talking right
now?
8. The back of yo head is ridikulus, girl
two rows in front of me with the shiny
blond hair
9. What even happened to MadTV
anyway?
10. Let’s get some shoes
11. Ugh, my parents are WAVING AT
ME. like, seriously can you GET SOME
CHILL?
12. Ooops, forgot to clap
13. OK, I’ll start clapping now
14. ABORT, ABORT; EVERYONE
STOPPED CLAPPING
15. Oh, something’s happening
16. Ugh are my pit stains showing?
17. I’ll just wear my robe in the photos
later, I’ll be “collegiate”
18. This tassel is in my face, GTFO,
tassel, no one needs you here
19. Andddddddddd I’m bored
20. I think this is it!
21. Nope
22. Now?
23. All I can think about is food
24. Was that even English?
25. Oh … cool … guess I’m officially an
alum
26. Man, I’m hungry
27. Go Blue!
3B
Wednesday, April 12, 2017 // The Statement
How To: Graduate
BY SYLVANNA GROSS, DAILY SPORTS EDITOR
PHOTO COURTSEY OF SYLVANA GROSS