M
y best friend
from
the
University
of
Washington messaged me
the other day: “Last class of
my undergraduate degree!”
I
responded
positively,
albeit less animated than
usual as I was waking up
from a nap. When I got up
from my bed, I walked to
the bathroom and stared
at my reflection. I was
panicking.
In five weeks I’ll be
sending
that
same
text
message.
(To be fair, I’m distracting
myself by mentally planning
exactly what alumni apparel
I get to drop $300 on at
the M Den.) (As if. I’ll be
buying the $20 gray hooded
sweatshirt with “Michigan
Alumni” emblazoned on the
breast that you find in that
bonus room on the second
floor that smells slightly
like library books.)
I tend to think that
something is much, much
harder (grandiose, or easier
or happier) than it really is.
I hype something up to the
point that I’m creating an
entirely different situation
than what is presented
before me.
I propose that graduation
is not like this. Our hype,
our
panic,
our
worry,
our
oh-my-god-what-
is-happening
vibe
is
completely validated. I also
propose that this transition
manifests
itself
in
our
manic dinner reservations.
Bear with me, I swear I
have a point out of this
ludicrous statement.
Over Thanksgiving Break,
I remember talking with my
mom about making dinner
reservations for graduation
weekend. I explained that
the reason I was doing a
less-than-stellar
job
at
saving my minimum-wage
paycheck was because I was
“researching” restaurants
for graduation weekend.
We agreed that as soon as
the restaurants would take
reservations, I would make
three, one for every night
my family is coming out to
Ann Arbor.
Winter Break, I couldn’t
make the reservations.
Spring Break, I couldn’t
make the reservations.
In all honesty, I came
back from Spring Break,
spent
three
days
not
checking to see if I could
make
reservations,
and
then decided to wait a more
couple days before checking
again. Two days later, I
couldn’t
make
a
single
reservation
(hyperbolic,
I managed one on Friday
night).
Like
there
was
just
one zebra carcass in the
middle of the Serengeti, the
vultures swooped in and
devoured the innards and
licked the black-and-white
skin off their lips (in this
metaphor, the reservation
is the zebra and the seniors
are the vultures).
Our
hyped-up
sense
of
nervousness
about
graduation
transitioned
into hyper-awareness about
over
planning.
Planning
for the one thing that we
can, because we can’t plan
for the feeling of throwing
our hats up in the air and
letting go of this place we
call home.
I’m only slightly bitter
that
everything
was
booked. My mom prefers
cooking at home anyway
(healthier, cheaper, easier),
and considering I have a
kitchen in my apartment, it
all works out for the better.
Instead of rushing to make
a reservation, everyone is
welcome at my house for
some baked salmon and
roasted asparagus over a
bed of quinoa. Or just some
roasted chicken and frozen
peas. Either way, it’s going
to be with my family.
And either way, I’m going
to graduate.
How
to:
Listen
to
your mom and make a
reservation for graduation
the first time she asks you.
1. You know you will feel
better if you can check that
off your mental to-do list
2. She’s usually always
right.
3. That restaurant you
really want to eat at will
be booked within the next
week anyway, right?
4.
Ask
them
in
the
sweetest, sugar-coated tone
you can if you can make a
reservation.
5. If they say yes, smile
and say you need a table
for 16 in the middle of their
dinner rush.
6. Congratulations, you
won the game of life.
7. Re: your mom is always
right.
8. If they say no, don’t
lose faith.
9. Clear your throat, and
call the next place on your
list.
10. Repeat step nine as
many times as necessary.
11. Your patio really isn’t a
bad option, either.
12. Congratulations and
have a good graduation
weekend!
2B
Managaing Statement Editor:
Lara Moehlman
Deputy Editors:
Yoshiko Iwai
Brian Kuang
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Editor in Chief:
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Managing Editor:
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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 // The Statement
How To: Make a Reservation for Graduation Weekend
ILLUSTRATION BY MICHELLE PHILLIPS
BY SYLVANNA GROSS, DAILY SPORTS EDITOR
statement
THE MICHIGAN DAILY | MARCH 22, 2017
COVER PHOTO BY ARNOLD ZHOU